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Original poster

Phone call from another woman

134 replies

Lucky0707 · 18/01/2016 22:22

Hello all, earlier today I received a call from a woman regarding my partner. to roughly quote she said. "You don't know me and I've only just found out about you. Sorry to be delivering bad news but your boyfriend has been sleeping with me. I don't want to get involved so I will leave it at that. I won't be seeing him again, i want nothing to do with a man like that. Take care"
I have known him for 5 years but We've only been together as a couple for 1 year since his divorce. I don't know if to take it seriously or think its malicious. His ex wife and mum to his kids hates me, but has only ever made direct verbal abuse. My split from my ex wasn't happy but i have heard nothing since our last day together. I just can't believe this has happened. When I asked him seemed shocked and strongly denied it but surely that would be the response either way. I was very happy but this has cast a shadow. just don't know what to do

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucky0707 · 21/01/2016 18:03

Nothing really, just racking my head over anytimes he's gone out or worked late. Nothing really springs to mind but if it was a casual thing or a one off I guess there may be no real pattern.

OP posts:
Atenco · 21/01/2016 18:05

"what sort of woman would stoop so low even if it was for a friend

The sort of woman who's friends with someone who threatens to give their ex's partner a good slap, perhaps?"

This

It never ceases to amaze me the variety of people there are in this world. A seventy-year-old neighbour went to put the rubbish out and met her son passing in the street and gave him a big hug. Someone saw this and went running to tell her husband that she was having an affair.

SoThatHappened · 21/01/2016 18:07

I am really embarassed to admit this here. But I have done this....with an anonymous email from an account that didnt have my name on it.

The guy in question was fucking several of us at one go and lying to all of us. Then he dumped me for a new gf.

I made contact with one of them and she didnt take it well and told him straight away. Silly cow. She shot the messenger.

I will say though that although I regret doing it and feel very silly for having done it now...I did it because he hurt me and humiliated me so badly that I wanted to warn the others. No way would I ever do this if it wasn't true. What would be to gain by someone doing this with malicious intent.

I'd take it as genuine and keep looking for more clues.

Original poster
Lucky0707 · 21/01/2016 18:09

He has said it is just utter BS and someone is trying to sabotage us. It would be a bold move in a new direction for his ex. She normally has fits and spurts of verbal or written abuse probably after a few glasses then goes away.

OP posts:
Gobbolino6 · 21/01/2016 18:12

The missed calls concern me. If she were being malicious, why would she need to pluck up courage?

thedancingbear · 21/01/2016 18:16

I think it's entirely possible someone would be nervous prior to making a malicious phone call making false allegations.

I'm astonished by all the people saying, 'I'd believe this 100%' when there are people on this thread saying that they themselves have been the victim of (false) malicious claims. Of course if there was other corroborating evidence, that would be different, but unless I'm missing something this isn't the case?

Meht · 21/01/2016 18:17

I think you can ask your mobile provider to give you the number?

WildeWoman · 21/01/2016 18:25

I would put money on it that this is a genuine phonecall.
If I was unwittingly seeing a married man, I would be gutted. But I would do the decent thing and let the woman know, when I found out the truth.

Take the woman at face value.

Mellifera · 21/01/2016 18:29

I would also tell him she called again and wants to meet up.
See what he says then. If he's innocent, he won't mind even that other than thinking she's a freak.

JohnLuther · 21/01/2016 18:29

So you're all saying you'd believe anonymous caller over your DP/DH? I'd be devastated if I was the partner in this situation if the anonymous caller was believed.

JohnLuther · 21/01/2016 18:31

And the miss calls could indicate that the OP missed the calls, has that been clarified?

BreakWindandFire · 21/01/2016 21:51

The missed calls could be anything - I can get several a day from PPI firms, microsoft scanners etc despite being registered with the TPS. They're not all necessarily coming from the same withheld number.

Thisismyfirsttime · 21/01/2016 22:53

I read this thread and was debating whether to post but now I've seen it again in Active I will, so...
When I was 16 I went straight into work, I worked in an office off a bigger establishment with a girl in her mid 20's who I'll call B and we were often alone in the small office room with no-one else about. We messed about a lot. Anyway, one day B was making a call and told me about it. Her friend A had a baby with a man and now man had a pregnant girlfriend we'll call C. B told me all about how A was furious that Man was moving on, just left her. Paid for the baby but wouldn't be with her and lots of things that made A seem a bit unhinged. B was on A's side and whilst I was there called C to say she'd been sleeping with him, they'd been at it for months, even dropped in that she'd been having sex with him whilst he was with A. And that B had found all this out just now and had to tell C but was washing her hands at this point, it's C's problem now, up to you if you want to stay with this cunt etc etc.
It was all bullshit. I was so shocked and never saw her in the same way again but I just wanted to tell you that this can happen, sometimes there's a B who loves a bit of drama more than ready to take up A's case and hurt someone for no reason at all.
I'm not saying your call is not true OP, but to those saying the caller has nothing to gain they may just gain a bit of drama and 'fun' and not give a shit about who they're hurting. Same B was involved with a married man later on and I had to sit there and listen to her giving instructions on how to hoodwink the wife. Some people are just not nice people.

DiscoDiva70 · 22/01/2016 07:08

If this woman's genuine (and I don't think she is) and your partners been cheating with her, you will eventually find out because somewhere along the line most probably in the not too distant future your partner will cheat again and you'll get concrete evidence.

Katenka · 22/01/2016 14:25

Got the be honest I don't think it was a genuine call.

It's sounds like it was designed to hurt the OP. The fact that she didn't give any detail, makes me think that it's bollocks. No 'ask him where he was last Friday etc' or 'we have been shagging in the cupboard at work'.

It does happen because some people are nasty vindictive twats. It's the left the op in an awful position.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 22/01/2016 14:30

Rubbish. If you don't want to get involved in the gross details but feel duty-bound to tell the wife, it seems like exactly the sort of message you'd leave. None of this "he had me in THIS karma sutra position in the alley behind Sainsburys" bollocks. In fact if she HAD said that, I'd be more inclined to think it was vindictive, as she states that she was unaware of the wife, if I recall, and is breaking it off because of that.

Katenka · 22/01/2016 15:37

Well that's your opinion... Not mine

loveyoutothemoon · 22/01/2016 15:46

Think you need to take it as being true...and be on your guard. Look out for evidence and proof and go from there.

thedancingbear · 22/01/2016 15:52

Rubbish. If you don't want to get involved in the gross details but feel duty-bound to tell the wife, it seems like exactly the sort of message you'd leave. None of this "he had me in THIS karma sutra position in the alley behind Sainsburys" bollocks.

Rubbish. If you were going to make this sort of call, and it was genuine, you'd want to give the listener some proof, wouldn't you? Otherwise it could just be any random playing a trick (like my mate's older sister and her friends used to do, picking names out of the 'phone book)

Sallystyle · 22/01/2016 15:58

It's ridiculous to try and work out if this woman was telling the truth or not isn't it? We can speculate all day long but it doesn't help the OP.

All you can do OP is wait and watch and see what happens. It completely sucks but what other option is there?

Dungandbother · 22/01/2016 16:54

My belief is that certain types of drama llamas have a Jezza Kyle-style life. I'm being facetious but you get my drift I hope.

OMG he didn't. Oh yes he did. You'll never guess what he did next.

and all the razzamatazz that involves.

If you're straight forward type folk, if you are grown up and honest, if all questions are answered straight and respectfully AND he has no friends as described above, then it's probably a hoax, joke or whatever other excuse you choose.

If there is any element of drama to his life then I would suggest he is guilty as charged.

Original poster
Lucky0707 · 25/01/2016 21:55

Well she has called again I asked for some more details and she said it is very casual and started in august (when I was away with work) she didn't give any exact dates or times as said she didn't want any repercussions as he knows where she lives. she said she may be one of many as they met on a hook up site I guess tinder or worse. Said it could be late or even lunchtimes she's met him.

OP posts:
GloriaHotcakes · 25/01/2016 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Humble314 · 25/01/2016 22:04

he must have hurt her for her to ring twice. and how did she know that you didn't act on the first call? why another call when she couldn't possibly know what course of action you'd taken? unless, she does know.... i'm wondering if she is saying they met on tinder to protect her own identity, but actually, it wasn't casual and he hurt her badly enough that she has made two phone calls to you.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 25/01/2016 22:08

The fact she's called again says a lot, I think.

What has he said about it?

Agree with Humble on her last point.