I do like to answer all the messages. As I am so grateful for all the support and advice. I do not know what I would have done without you all. I do have MN friends like you that I do private message. I am also a bit nervous of what I put on here incase someone sees it! But I hope that no one thinks that I am only going through the motions! I am also not a person who wants to push myself on to people, if that makes sense
You dont have to be grateful Hush, really. We're happy to help you in anyway we can. And no, I don't think you're going through the motions in the traditional sense of going through the motions but there's a mechanical sense to your posts and it worries me. Now please don't take that the wrong way because Im not/we're not here to be entertained by you and your posts but the fact is I read your posts and I think Husha really isn't very well, she's struggling massively. I never get the sense that you're having a better day or couple of hours and I worry because there isn't even the briefest glimpse of an upbeat half hour. Its not right, its gone too far even for someone with a broken heart.
And you're not pushing yourself on to people but even if you were, its ok, just push away!
I admire you and the other MNetters on here for how they have got through this and what they have achieved. I realise that it has not been easy for anyone. Some have more to deal with than others
Getting through it has been the pits, the absolute and utter pits, and what you see of us now is a far cry from our reality a while back. We've all had our moments, bloody loads of them, too many to mention, and whilst we were living our worst times there were ladies here to help us the way we are trying to help you. There's nothing we haven't seen, or heard, or done! And there's more than one of us who ended up clinically depressed and had to be treated for it - even more than once.
I am so glad to hear that you have a better life now. I am just hoping that it will be the same for me and others eventually. Maybe I am doing something wrong on here as the ladies that originally supported me and pm me do not seem to now. Maybe they are busy in their own lives or maybe they are helping others that need them
You will go on to a better life, and I don't know if its good to be able to say this but you don't ever have to be singing and dancing happy about your new life. You dont have to be happy you got rid of a bastard. You don't have to shout it from the rooftops. I know I never will and Im not going to pretend otherwise. But thats not to say I pass my time by living in misery because life really is too short. So I live with my sadness tucked away in a secret place inside me, and sometimes it comes out to show its face, but for the most part I live in peace and Im happy, and I do all that I can to let that be bigger than my sadness. Thats how it is for me and if others think its no great shakes because Im not ranting etc, that its nonsense I still have some sadness in me after everything thats happened - then so be it.
And as for the other ladies who no longer contact you. I wouldn't read too much into it. They probably felt very genuine concern for you when you first started to post but I think when it comes to a lifelong marriage going wrong it really does take others who've been in the same situation to understand how very different it is to other marriages going wrong and offer the continued support needed.
xxxxxx