Re: Feeling so down after husband has left me for another woman after 30 years

[Hushabyemountain98]

I posted yesterday but was a bit too detailed.
I am feeling so down and tonight I found myself sobbing out load.
I am finding this so hard. Even though I have a supportive family and friends.

Try to get some rest my lovely. Your son is over and you don't want to be too tired and then even more distraught to make the most of his company.
Ask him to sort out the podcasts for you or someway to listen to audio books. Xx

Thank you Pisco for being so kind. I will try to make the most of my son's company. I will ask him to sort out the podcasts for me.
Xx

Husha, you could have spared yourself that pic if you'd blocked her when it was suggested a few days ago. But I suspect you're glad you've seen the photo, because why else would a person look again and again and again? So maybe instead of being devastated you've seen it, turn it around and say to yourself - Im glad Ive seen it, its what I set out to achieve, and that part of this situation is over.

xxx

Oh Hush. I feel bad for you, I really do. You've just got to think, this is it - this is the rock bottom moment. What I was dreading seeing has finally happened. It is upwards from here.

You take as much time as you need to feel sad and angry but know you will come through this stronger.

As much as you love(d) him - he is not worthy of you.

Xx

Good morning Hush. Hope that you got some sleep? So sorry that you have now seen the reality of what he's said and done.
A silly question really but is there anything you can do that would help today? Can you channel that hurt into action?
Reclaim some space for yourself? Getting rid of all signs of him?

Finishing boxing up all his things? Just wondering? xx

Thank you notonyurjellybellynelly.
Yes I know what you are saying. I should have blocked it the other day but I didn't. It just confirms what I already know. He does not care about me at all. Xxx

Thank you WTAFF.
You are right. I deserve better than this. But it still hurts like hell!
I hope you have a good day xx

Oh Hushabye I know how you feel . I too saw a picture and it is absolutely gut-wrenchingly awful. I don't do FB but it was a different context and I too have blocked. But, it was like picking off a septic scab. The initial pain was well nigh unbearable but then after a while it became a lot better. It took a while to heal, but the exposure helped to ease the pain which I think was largely caused by the fear of being exposed to the picture in the first place. Don't know if that makes sense!

It was hard to see but having seen it, the worst is over and there is no more imagining and anticipation of the fright of coming across it. I find it much easier to deal with now and, if I'm honest, don't really think about it. Before I saw the picture I was really obsessed with it. So, scab hurts like hell - ripping it off hurts twice as much as hell - the healing process takes a little bit of time but the hurt diminishes - scab heals over.

xxx to you.

Good morning Louisa.
I did get some sleep thanks.
You are right I have seen the reality of what he has said and done. I knew that he was doing it!
Yes I will try and channel my my hurt into action.
I will try and sort some more things in the house.
Do a bit of extra hard bread kneading!!
I hope you have a good day xx

Good morning tartanbuggy.
Thank you for your kind message.
I know that you are going through tough times too.
You are right it was a terrible feeling that hit my whole body.
I think your scab analogy is very good. I will remember that.
I am glad that it is easier for you to deal with now.

I hope that you are managing and that you have friends to support you as well as the wonderful MN friends.

Thanks again. Thinking of you xxx

Hi Hush. Just checking in to see how you're doing. I hope you're having a decent weekend.

I'm in the middle of painting the kitchen and I'm shattered- I think I need to step up the gym sessions.

Hi WTAFF. Thank you for your kind e mail. I am just plodding around. I cannot concentrate on anything. I had a cry this morning. I have had enough. I am back in my pit of despair again.

Sorry you are shattered. Maybe the gym is why you are shattered! Maybe you over did it?

I hope you enjoy the rest of your day xx

Ah, I'm sorry to hear that you're down at the moment. Is there anything you can do to keep busy?

Hi again WTAFF.
Thank you. I am just going to start the ironing while I am watching the TV.
What an exciting life I lead!
Thanks again xx

Ah, the ironing..... ironing out the creases in life, ironing very fast, aggressive ironing..... It can be very therapeutic Hush..
I've settled for Netflix and a glass or two of wine.
Remember, you are in shock and perhaps plumbing the depths at the moment after last night. The only way is up..... xx

Thanks Louisa,
Yes I did the ironing, I am not sure how therapeutic it was!
Most of it was my son's. He came home yesterday with a bag of washing and I got it washed dried and ironed. So that was my good deed!
I took him food shopping and then drove him back to his student house. Then on the way back I just cried and cried.
So it is just me and the dogs again.
I hope you have found something good to watch on Netflix? I hope you are enjoying your wine? I have just poured myself one!
I feel that I am at my lowest. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I still don't know how he can treat me like this. Sorry here come the tears again xx

Have a virtual hug Hush. I'm sorry that this has happened to you. But tomorrow is a new day.

Stay strong. Enjoy the wine! Xx

Thank you WTAFF for the virtual hug.
i do not think that I am strong enough to do this xx

Hello there Hush here are some for you xxx

Sounds like your lucky DS got lots of lovely care from you today - it's funny about the food shopping - I don't think my DS would ever buy vegetables or fruit if I didn't buy them for him! Ironing too - he is a lucky boy to have you for a Mum x

Oh Hush, you will find the strength, even though it doesn't feel like it. It's such a roller coaster that you are going through. You have made progress - just read your thread again to see.
Your life is not going to be what you originally thought it would look like but you can have a happy and contented future. Be gentle with yourself and focus any negativity where it belongs - on twatface.xx

Hello Chicon. Thank you for the flowers.
I did all I could for my DS today. But that is what I always do and always have done for both my DS's and my DH.
I hope my sons think they are lucky!
He does buy fruit and vegetables. I also sent him back with my home made bread and cake.
How are you? Are you back at home or are you still in Austria?xx

Your thread is keeping me going hush , lovely to see tartan back , my son also back from uni and my ex hubby nephew is here too , love the noise downstairs as being in the house alone is very lonely , my dd dog goes back tomorrow had her for 10 days ( I call her the little dog who has saved my life) I sent my absolute certificate to ex by email he emailed back he will miss me forever !!! Yeah ok heard all your crap too many times and lies , that doesn't change that I feel disgusted and ashamed of being divorced , I know I shouldn't feel this way but I can't help these emotions , I never planned this , my future was with him a camper van and grandchildren not single on my 50th birthday , I am smiling for everyone but me , I could be an actress now or a lawyer ( did the divorce all by myself and bloody paid for it ) he would of procrastinated for years I had to be in control of something in my life ! Hush and all the other wonderful ladies on this thread I want to virtually stand together in a circle and have a group hug xxx

Thank you Kirk. I am glad that my thread is keeping you going too.Lovely to see tartan again.
Glad that you have the company of your son and ex hubby nephew. You are right being in the house alone is very lonely. I am here on my own again apart from the dogs. They are company though.Sorry your DD dog has to go back tomorrow.
Please do not feel like that about yourself. It is not your fault.
All the heart break these men have caused!
I hope that you will find a different and happier life.
Yes a group hug would be good.
Take care xx

Thanks hush, I will try and sleep and not dream about him , it's back enough thinking about him when I am awake !! I am going to try for the first night in 11 months not to have a nytol to send me off to sleep as they may be why I am dreaming a lot xx