Re: Feeling so down after husband has left me for another woman after 30 years

[Hushabyemountain98]

I posted yesterday but was a bit too detailed.
I am feeling so down and tonight I found myself sobbing out load.
I am finding this so hard. Even though I have a supportive family and friends.

Thank you notonyurjellybellynelly.
I am going back to a different Doctor the week after next.
Sorry you did not find anything fresh in the supermarkets there. Still it was worth a look!
I hope you enjoy your day sightseeing. Stay safe.
Thank you for thinking about me so much. I am going to book my routine haircut. I ordered a new jumper and some pjs. They arrived yesterday but I have not opened the package yet.

Thank you for the offer to go on holiday with me. That is so kind. I am going to go away to friends maybe in the summer when I have cover for the dogs.
I only need to phone them and get a plane ticket and they will come and pick me up anytime.
I will also take a look at the links you sent me.

I better get showered and get the dogs out.

Have a good day sightseeing xx

Morning Louisa.
It is a lovely crisp cold sunny day here too.
I am not showered and dressed yet as I am feeling washed out.
I will have to think about it soon as the dogs are crying to go out for their walk.
I hope you have a nice day in town today.
Take care xx

Hi madamehooch.
Thank you for your kind message. I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time too.
There are other ladies on here that have had dh with depression rather than OW.
It is so difficult especially when they won't talk about it. They have made their decision and that is it! It affects the whole family. I think it us so selfish and cruel.
I hope this will not affect your DD GCSE's. My youngest son is in his final year of Uni and I worry about him.

I am glad that you have a lot of RL support. I know what you mean about everyone being married with families! The support on here is great. My MN friends have been so kind and supportive to me. There is a wealth of knowledge on here.

I can sympathise with you not sleeping. I know what you mean about hoping you will wake up and everything will be ok.

I try to do all the things my friends( real and virtual) advise me to do if possible. Everyone says to put yourself first but that is difficult after you have put everyone else first for so many years. I think about my old life which was far from perfect but it was my life and I miss it. I am so lonely!

Everyone says it will get better over time and a lot of the ladies on here are proof of that. But they will freely admit that it takes a long time to get there.

I hope I gave not made you feel worse. You have to take small steps and not think too far ahead as that is really scary.

Maybe it would be good if you started your own thread so you get all the help and support the MNetters can give you.

Thinking of you. Take care xx

Thanks for responding so quickly Hush. I hope that you have managed to have a shower. I do find that that is the one thing that seems to make me feel a bit better - that and a cup of tea!

I hope you don't mind me joining your thread. I've been looking through it and it sounds silly but I like the feel of it as it seems very supportive. I don't know if I want to start my own thread really but I understand if you would rather I did.

I do feel as if you and others posting on here understand how I am feeling. You are right when you say you need to take small steps and not think too far ahead. I'm not ready to cut my husband out of my life yet although I probably should.

I've just got back from taking my dog for a walk. I know what you mean about muddy paws! I'm then going to meet my friend for a coffee and a moan.

Hope you manage to have an OK day.

xx

You are welcome madamehooch.
I had a nice shower and a lovely cup of coffee.
I have walked the dogs or at least they have walked me!
Guess what! They have muddy paws!
I am glad that you have a dog.

I do not mind you joining my thread at all but I was thinking that you may get more help if you had your own. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.

You have to do things at your own pace. Do it when it feels right for you.

I hope you enjoy your coffee and a good moan with your friend. I did that yesterday. It does help rather than holding it in.

Take care xx

Hello there Hush I hope you've had an OK day. I'm still having a nice time here in Austria - the swimming discussion reminded me of why I'm here. As you know my DC are at Uni and my DH is not around much. So last year in my empty nest survival mode I decided I would try cross country skiing. When you first step out of the door to try to find new things you feel like you are doing it because you have to, I find. You don't think: oh this is so fantastic, you think "what's happened to my life? I'm not sure I really want to do this, I just want things to be the way they were before." So i know you may not be ready yet, but don't wait until you feel like doing things, as soon as you can do them, jump in. Hope your teeth are a bit better and the antibiotic is kicking in - keep on slinging his stuff in boxes (or the bin!) xx

Hello Chicon. Thank goodness for you. I have been looking at my thread on and off for hours and no messages! I have been a mess today. Not helped by my lack of sleep last night. I have been doing all the wrong things again like looking at fb. I know it is wrong but I can't help it! I am in bits again. I really dont think that I am ever going to get over this. I know that he is with her again in a great place and I am here with what!!
Sorry to be so miserable and needy again. I know if it was not her it would be someone else.He has been planning dropping me from a great height for months!
I am glad that you are having a nice time in Austria. I am glad that you were brave enough to try cross country skiing. Does that mean that it is on the level rather than skiing down a slope. Sorry for the non technical terms!!
I will see if I can face going to learn to swim.

My mouth is easier on one side but not the other. I think that is a different problem.
I am trying to get things in boxes or in the bin.
Enjoy your evening and maybe the strudel!xx

Hi Hush. I'm glad your mouth is a little bit better but I'm sorry you've had a rough day.

What are your plans for this evening? Xx

Hi WTAFF.
Thank you for your kind message.
Not a lot of plans for this evening.
I am just watching the TV.
I hope you are Okay?xx

I'm ok Hush. Just had a long day at work. Lots of drama that I could do without!!

We got a puppy just before Christmas and she is refusing to be house trained so I've cleaned up two little accidents already tonight!

I'm Thinking about watching Les Miserables. I've never seen it but I recenkt bought it on dvd but haven't yet gotten round to watching it.

I'm Also going to have a glass of wine later on!

Do you have any plans for the weekend?

I am glad you are ok WTAFF. Apart from having a long day at work with lots of drama!
What breed is your puppy? Does she have a crate. I was dead against crates until we had our older dog as a puppy and he was a nightmare to toilet train. From the day we put him in there at night he was clean. During the day we left the door open and with some nice bedding and it was his haven.

I really like Les Miserables. Both the musical and the film. Well worth watching, especially with a large glass of wine!

I do not have any plans for the weekend yet but I think I will try and make some!

Enjoy your evening xx

Hush, she's just a mix breed. She's a strange looking creature - she has got massive silver eyebrows! She is a real character and is currently scrounging around the sitting room seeing what food she can find. You would think she was hungry!

She has got a cage. She absolutely loves it. When I get her up at six during the week she refuses to get up and when she has had her wee in the garden she runs back to bed!

I would definitely make yourself some really nice plans for the weekend. Something you really enjoy doing. Are there any events on where you live?

Good evening. Sorry Hush, because it was quiet on the thread I thought you may have gone out. I've been doing boring errands this morning and this afternoon I started to tidy up the garden since all the daffodils are out and the tulips are beginning to look busy too. It was nice but cold outside. The best bit was when a robin started following me about. He wasn't frightened of me at all. He was chirping away to me and came so close I thought he might just perch on my hand.
I'm so glad you are thinking of going to stay with your friends. Making plans, even small ones, help me to keep going. It's good to have something to look forward to.

WTAFF mixed breeds are very often the best. Also much hardier than some of the pedigrees. I used to have a poodle cross terrier and she was a great dog.
I have just told my two off as they sat drooling while I had a ham sandwich. My husband wouldn't have allowed that!
I am glad that your puppy loves her crate.

I do not think there are any events locally but I will find something to do.
Enjoy the rest of your evening xx

Hi Hush . Sorry you've had such a bad day. Facebook is the tool of the devil isn't it but horribly addictive? I'm sometimes tempted to look at my DH's emails but I really can't handle any more bad news at the moment. It must be so much worse seeing your bad news as photographic evidence. I think for your own sanity you need to stop viewing his pages and also remember that it's all for show. Don't give him the satisfaction!

I've been looking at white noise machines online. I need to crack this sleeping problem before it causes me real problems. I thought I'd give it a go as I find the rhythm and repetition of the shipping forecast strangely soothing .

At the moment, me, DD and the dog are cuddled together on the sofa. DD had an important make or break test this afternoon which she said she did not do well at (not due to the situation between DH and I though ) so we've had tears . 2016 is crap so far although my horoscope says it's going to be my year although it might not seem like it at the moment! I never used to believe in horoscopes but I'm prepared to give anything a go at the moment.

I'm trying to psyche myself into having a bath once DD goes up in a minute but I seem to find even that too much of an effort at this time of the evening although I do find it relaxing once I'm in.

We just have to take it day by day. Tomorrow hopefully may be a little bit better. Baby steps xxxx

Good evening Pisco. No need to be sorry. I was just being silly again!
Glad that you were able to get in the garden to do a bit of tidying up. We had a robin that used to stay really near when you were in the garden.

I know that I have got to try and make a life for myself. As he does not want me anymore.
Have a nice evening xx

I think it's probably just worth getting adjusted to your current life and gradually gaining strength to start making a new life xxx

I know that I have got to try and make a life for myself. As he does not want me anymore

Hush, there is so much thats wrong with that but I think to say anymore right now would be counterproductive. So I really just wanted to let you know your words had been read, and that Im thinking of you.

xxxx

Hi madamehooch. My Dh does not do fb. It belongs to a certain other person. I have to try not to do it as it is making me so miserable.
One of my MN friends calls if Fakebook!

I hope the white noise machine will help with allowing you to sleep. I hope we both get some proper sleep tonight.

It sounds very cosy all cuddled up on the sofa!
I am sorry that your DD test did not go well and that she was so upset.

You are right 2016 is crap so far! I hope your horoscope is proven right in the end!

I hope you manage to have a nice relaxing bath later. That may help you sleep?

Yes we have to take it day by day. Baby steps. I hope that tomorrow will be a little better for both of us.

Good night xx

Yes madamehooch you are right. I just get desperate and I cannot believe that even he could treat me as badly as this. Today has been a bad day!xx

Thanks notonyurjellybelly. I just feel so betrayed. I know what you are saying xxx

Hush - you are genuinely one of the nicest posters on mumsnet. Your husband is a fool!

Thank you madamehooch you are so kind xx

Hush, you have got a life. It's just going to take a different course to what you thought before. I've sent you a pm.
Good night xxx

Thanks Pisco. Good night xx