Re: Feeling so down after husband has left me for another woman after 30 years

[Hushabyemountain98]

I posted yesterday but was a bit too detailed.
I am feeling so down and tonight I found myself sobbing out load.
I am finding this so hard. Even though I have a supportive family and friends.

Hi Breadandwine,

I am glad that you enjoyed seeing your DD and GS.

Thank you for all your support and ideas.
I will give all this some thought.
My son and i enjoyed going to the cinema this morning.

We then watched the Arsenal vs Hull game on the TV. My DS is an Arsenal supporter.

He has gone for a haircut.

The bread is proving and will be ready to go in the oven very soon.

I am having a bit of a bad moment. So I will close for now.

I hope you have a nice evening xx

Hush, I don't know what to say. It would be so much easier if we could just not care less about our husbands after what they have done. I'm really hoping that time will come. To hate them requires energy and emotion that we can spend on other more deserving things. It's crazy, isn't it? Xxx

Thanks Pisco. It would be good if we could switch off and move on like they have! It is crazy and I try not to dwell on it. I have been doing all the things I am not supposed to do like looking at facebook etc. I feel sick! How can he treat me like this? Sorry!xx

Sorry to hear that, Hush - for you ATM, it's all about distraction, distraction, distraction!

Books, puzzles, radio, TV - other threads in the 'Relationships' board - I've learned a huge deal from those. And there is an amazing amount of good advice on there.

One of the things to think about is that you're never the only one suffering as you're doing now. The sad thing is, there will always (it seems to me) be others going through the same turmoil.

I've just read the op and the first few posts in the thread "Right, listen up everybody!'. Honestly, I could have stayed on and read (re-read) the whole thread - if I didn't have pizzas to make, etc!

Then there are the books and websites that have been recommended to you - there isn't enough time in the day, I reckon, to get through all that lot.

Best wishes for you and your DS - enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Hush, please don't look at his Facebook. Honestly, it will drive you insane.
And you must remember that most of the stuff posted on Facebook is only the stuff that people want to present to the world, or 'distorted' images. It doesn't show you the day to day tedium, the arguments, going to Tescos.
Most of it is a pile of crap! The lovely pictures that my husband's girlfriend posted about Christmas Day (I was told about them) I know for a fact simply don't show the actual events of their Christmas Day. Xxx

Thanks again Breadandwine. I hope the pizza making goes well.

I know that I need to keep busy. I know which thread you are talking about I have looked at it many times.

I have to try and stop feeling sorry for myself. I have the books that were recommended to me and the Mind Gym etc etc but you need to concentrate on all these things! My concentration is still awful.

Thank you for all your attention. Have a good weekend xx

He doesn't do FB this is a certain other persons!!
I know what you mean. All the photos on there are just so perfect. Not looking like I do at the moment!!

Thank you Pisco. I am so sorry to be so miserable. I do not want to drag everybody else down with me!

I hope you enjoy your evening xx

Hush - take as much time as you need. At the moment everything is very raw. Gradually though (and possibly without realising) you will be able to go a bit longer without thinking about him.

Sending you

Hush. Just don't look! It only has their best pictures. It doesn't show them stepping in dog poo!

Thank you WTAFF for your kind message.
You are right everything is very raw.
I hope that I will be able to get through my day without thinking about him and her!

Thank you for the wine and cake xx

Thank you Pisco. I was thinking this morning when I was collecting up the dog poo in the garden what an exciting life I had! That is real life though. Not the phoney one that they are leading at the moment!

They do say "What goes around comes around!"
I do believe in Karma!

xx

That's the spirit, gal!
I'm going for a bit. Will be back much later tonight.
Take care xxxx

Thanks Pisco xx

Good evening Hush,
Stay away from Facebook (or fakebook)! It's not representative of real life.
It sounds as if you've had a busy day - which is good.
I've been busy and am now relaxing with a gin- which is not so good but oh so pleasurable. Hope you're tired enough for a good sleep in a bed?
xx

hello there Hush from Austria I've had a long day travelling after a late night last night. I'm ready for bed even though it's really early. sorry you've been looking at stupid old facebook - Louisa is dead right to call it "fakebook". Xxx

Good evening Louisa,
I will try to stay away from Fakebook!
It is good to have my son here today. He is upstairs studying at the moment.
I am glad that you are relaxing with a gin.Not gin on its own? Gin and tonic?
I hope I am going to sleep tonight. But it is going to be really difficult xx

Yes to the tonic Hush.
I try not to worry about not sleeping - just concentrate on 'resting my eyes'. Have you thought a bit about 'reclaiming' a nice sleeping space for yourself? Even if you don't sleep it can be very restful to have nice new sheets, a scented candle, a magazine etc beside the bed. I certainly feel better when my room is calm and tidy. It's a way of starting to look after yourself.
Lecture over xxx

Hello there Chicon in Austria. I hope you sleep well tonight after your long day travelling. I hope you feel refreshed in the morning.
I know I shouldn't be looking at fb! But I can't help it.

Take care xx

Hi Louisa,
Glad you have the gin with tonic. Not so good on its own!
My Mum used to say about 'resting your eyes'.
I will do something about reclaiming a nice sleeping space for myself.
I need to get his clutter out!
Enjoy your G&T xx

Hello Hush. I've had a lovely evening out with a friend. It does slowly, slowly get better. Good night xxx

Hello Pisco. I am glad that you had a lovely evening out with a friend xx

How are you this morning? Xx

Thanks WTAFF.
I had a rotten nights sleep. So I am tired this morning xx

Morning Hush, how are you feeling this morning? xx

Morning Louise. I have just walked the dogs. I feel really tired and to add insult to injury I have toothache!
I still cannot clear my mind of a certain couple being together.
How sick is that!
I hope you have a good day.
Xx