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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Re: Feeling so down after husband has left me for another woman after 30 years

978 replies

Hushabyemountain98 · 17/01/2016 22:18

I posted yesterday but was a bit too detailed.
I am feeling so down and tonight I found myself sobbing out load.
I am finding this so hard. Even though I have a supportive family and friends.

OP posts:
Chiconbelge · 08/02/2016 22:09

Good evening hush thinking of you. I'm still having a hard time at work and I just keep eating cake to deal with it. I watched Shetland on iPlayer last night to take my mind off it. I love the scenery - that's the best thing about it really. Sleeping in one of your son's rooms sounds like a possibility. Have they got Reading Week coming up? My son is in his final year and he seems to have worked out what Reading Week is for, finally! You'd have thought the name might be a clue!

Allalonenow · 08/02/2016 22:38

Hey there Hush, how are you?

I think one of the hardest parts to cope with in the early days, is that while your own life is scattered in a million fragments around your feet, and you simply cannot imagine ever putting a happy life together again, they have a complete new happy life ready in the blink of an eye for them to walk into and calmly enjoy.

And Oh God! The crying. I remember being in W H Smiths once with tears streaming down my face after he had phoned me, and one of the ladies from there just came and hugged me.

It could have been worse I suppose, I might have been in Waitrose Smile

Thanks for the tip on Shetland, it's a good story line. I watched "My afternoons with Margueritte" earlier, which I enjoyed. It stars Gerard!! Still a wonderful actor even though he is more podgy thse days. Grin

Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 08/02/2016 23:16

Hi Angieyy1
Thank you for your message.
I am so sorry to hear your story.
I am glad that you are free of him now and all the pain he caused you.
I hope that you and your son are happy?
Everyone tells me that I will be OK and so will our sons.
The trouble is he is totally in the wrong and now he is telling a pack of lies just to totally finish me off. So I am going to need to find some strength to fight him. Crying is not going to help then. He wants to move on with this woman and destroy me in the process.
Thanks again x

OP posts:
Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 08/02/2016 23:50

Thank you Bubblebath01.
I am sorry that you have had to go through all this.
I can see some similarities to my story.
I have had a crap week with two lots of rubbish dropped on me.
I do not eat very much but more than nothing. I have lost over a stone.
Basically I am living on my nerves. Wondering what is coming next.
How can he treat me like this?
I know I can't change what has happened but I need to find some strength to be able to get through it. At the moment he thinks he is controlling everything.
I hope that everything works out for you and your children.
Take Care xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 09/02/2016 00:08

Thank you Chiconbeige.
I am sorry that you are still having a hard time at work. What cake are you eating?
I haven't got around to watching Shetland yet. I hope it took your mind off it?
I am glad your son has worked out what reading week is for! I think one may have reading week,the other one is higher up the ladder so I do not think he gets it.
Thanks again. I hope your work settles down xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 09/02/2016 00:19

Thank you Allalonenow.
You have hit the nail on the head.
That is just how I feel.

I cried in Tesco and one of the ladies was really kind to me it was made worse by the Christmas music! I controlled myself in Waitrose!
I am glad you liked Shetland.
I will have to look out for "My Afternoons with Marguerite".
Well I suppose I better try and get some sleep!
Goodnight xx

OP posts:
PushingThru · 09/02/2016 02:00

My heart goes out to you all, every one of you xxxxxx

Angieyy1 · 09/02/2016 08:12

Hey hush

No I'm not happy I'm heartbroken again the man I was with for the last two years had decided he doesn't love me, we have nothing in common and has gone 2 years that's just it after he was only talking about move back to his home town in front of my son.... Iv begged for him back something I have never done in my life and he doesn't want to know I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him ..... So here I am this morning 6 weeks on waking up at stupid o'clock feeling like Iv be punched in the stomach and feeling like I need to be sick and crying and knowing he will never want to be with me and he will be so glad I'm out of his life because looking back he hasn't wanted to be with me for a while and that makes me feel terrible xx

Angieyy1 · 09/02/2016 08:14

I also very low I don't want to get out of bed and have anxiety but I have to xx

Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 09/02/2016 09:23

Thank you PushingThru for your kind message x

OP posts:
Lotsofponies · 09/02/2016 16:46

Hi Hush, I have been following your story, you are doing great. With regards his lying about you, its probably guilt, if he can convince himself and everyone else you are no whiter than white, he thinks it makes him seem less of a bastard. You will get through this and you will come out the other side a stronger person.

I found a lovely hot deep bubble bath with some good music, a magazine or a trashy novel helped to soothe me and stop the monologue that was constantly going on in my head.

Chiconbelge · 09/02/2016 22:50

Just stopping by to say hello and hope your day has gone ok xxx

marika56 · 09/02/2016 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

notonyurjellybellynelly · 10/02/2016 04:47

Husha, just ignore Marika and be thankful the witch Dr she usually suggests seems to be on holiday!

Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 10/02/2016 09:14

Hello Angieyy1. I am so sorry to hear that you are heartbroken again. It is so unfair.
I hope that you will be able to get over this again. I hope that you will get over feeling sick. Are you eating? You have to look after yourself. Do you have the support of family and friends?
Thinking of you.
Take care xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 10/02/2016 09:21

Good Morning Lotsofponies.
Thank you for your message of support.
I think you are right. I still do not know how he can do it though?

Yes you are right there is a monologue that goes on in my head.
I am trying to read but the concentration is not there.
I watch tv and try to watch programmes that hold your attention.
We do not have a bath in the house.

I have a busy day today so less time to think.
Take Care xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 10/02/2016 09:25

Good Morning Chiconbeige. Thank you for your kind message.
I had a bit of a day yesterday. How is work going for you? Are you still eating the cake?
I have a busy day with appointments and meeting up with a friend.
Take care xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 10/02/2016 09:30

Thanks notonyurjellybellynelly.
I see that marika message has been removed by MNHQ.
I hope you are having a good day?
I am busy today so less time to think.
Take care xx

OP posts:
louisatwo · 10/02/2016 20:43

Hello Hush,
Hope that your day has gone well and that your time with your friend was enjoyable? I have a sad puppy just back from the vet's (had the snip_ so he's a bit wobbly). No long walks for him for a week and the house will be mud free!

Chiconbelge · 10/02/2016 21:16

Hi hush yes I ate rocky road, and kettle chips. Then I made my computer keyboard greasy from the crisps! I think I ate some mini roll as well but I can't quite remember. Wink

Allalonenow · 10/02/2016 21:35

Hey there Hush, just popping in.

I see you had a busy day planned, so hope all has gone smoothly.

Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 11/02/2016 00:20

Hello louisa,
Yes I had a busy day but it was good. We had sushi for lunch and a good chat. My dog had to stay at the vets for the day for tests. He was so happy to be home tonight.
I hope your puppy recovers soon and forgives you! Good that your house will be mud free for a while.
Goodnight xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 11/02/2016 00:32

Hi Chiconbeige,
Not just cake today!
I hope you managed to degrease your keyboard.
Thinking of you xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Hushabyemountain98 · 11/02/2016 00:37

Hello Allalonenow,
Today was quite good thanks.
Had one bad moment. Best not to think too much.
Take care xx

OP posts:
notonyurjellybellynelly · 11/02/2016 04:13

Husha, what did you think of Happy Valley?

Im not sure if I enjoyed it. Sara's peed off and disgruntled face got on my nerves from the start. I hate the cliched story line regarding the policeman. But oh my goodness the shot of that woman standing outside the house at the end sent a shiver up my spine!

So, a mixed bag of tricks really.