Re: Feeling so down after husband has left me for another woman after 30 years

[Hushabyemountain98]

I posted yesterday but was a bit too detailed.
I am feeling so down and tonight I found myself sobbing out load.
I am finding this so hard. Even though I have a supportive family and friends.

Nothing wrong with a 2000 Pound holiday but I very much doubt if you are ready for that right now. For tonight I would suggest a sip or two of wine if the tea isn't working x Get the TV on and watch something. :-)

Good evening Hush.
Glad that tea out was good. Small steps etc.
Don't worry about the tears. I cried every day for weeks - you will eventually stop. Can you find something silly to watch on TV this evening as a bit of a distraction?

Thanks IamtheRealMrsEamonnHolmes2 for your message.
It was a 20000 pound holiday!!
No I am not ready for that right now.
I will have a glass of wine. I am trying to watch tv but the soaps are hardly light entertainment Still there is Holby and Silent Witness to come!
Thanks again xx

Good evening louisa.
Tea out was good.
I have been crying for weeks already. Did you think you were ever going to stop?
I am going to watch Holby and the second half of Silent Witness. May look for some comedy after that!

Thanks again xx

Good evening. Thanks for the Holby alert - I'm at my mum's and she never misses it. I think buying some nice new duvet covers is definitely under the heading "carrying on as usual" and not under the heading of switching to Fortnums or going to the Seychelles! As for the pictures and mirrors how about choosing what you want to go back up, add in something new (cheap and cheerful), put aside things you don't want, putting some things in new places, and getting a handy person round to put them up? Xxx

Good evening Chiconbeige.
Glad that I helped with the Holby alert!
I will find some nice new bedding as that is classed "carrying on as usual".
I am happy with the pictures and mirrors that I have. Just need to decide where to put them. Then find someone to put them up for me!
Thanks again xx

Hush, just before I fall asleep..... I found reorganising bits of the house very therapeutic. Just having my things beside the bed. and yes, yes to new sheets and pillows - and a scented candle to go with them! Getting rid of 'stuff' that I didn't like or need.
Hope you sleep OK tonight. xx

Husha, the latest Silent Witness had me on the edge of my seat. Oh my goodness!!!!!! But Ive only seen part one and it will be a couple of days before I catch up with part two. Ive got a busy day today. A lady I met on a cruise 18 months ago is coming to my hometown today on another cruise, her and son, they're Swiss, and Im meeting them off the ship. We're going to have a day out sightseeing and hopefully get a bit of snorkelling in as well. And as it happens my dad arrives today also but my girls are on top of that and I'll see him later today. Its feeling a bit strange that I wont be meeting him but he understands my plans were made with my pal a year ago and cant be cancelled. And to be honest it was me who booked him to arrive today anyway - I dont know how I managed it

I really wish some of us posters lived close by you and we could help you a bit more.

Hush, you are probably asleep right now, but I wanted to tell you that I have been following your thread and I am really impressed by you. You seem like such a gracious and kind person; you have been responding so nicely to comments, and you seem very emotionally open and honest. I hope you can see the good in yourself that is very obvious to us, even though your husband's rejection has dealt you a terrible blow.

XO

Thank you louisatwo for thinking of me before you went to sleep. I had a good sleep thank you. I am going to try and start sorting stuff out. If my husband wants it he can take it if not it can go out. I am going to buy new bedding. What things did you have beside your bed?
Thank you for your help and understanding. I hope you had a good sleep too? Xx

I hope that you feel better when you have started sorting things out. Getting his things out of your space (especially anything that you've never liked or thats annoyed you!) and getting some lovely new bedding should help a lot.

Good Morning notonyurjellybellynelly. I am glad that you enjoyed Silent Witness part 1. I am sure that you will also enjoy the conclusion.
I hope you have had a good day sightseeing with your friend and her son? Did you manage to do any snorkeling?
I hope you also enjoy your time with your Dad.

It would be good if some of the posters lived nearer but never mind you are all a great help to me. xx

Thank you PitilessYank for your kind message.
You are right, my husbands reaction has dealt me a terrible blow.
I have found it really difficult to accept this time.
I like to think of myself as a kind and honest person.
The posters on MN have been so kind and helpful to me.
Thank you again xx

Thank you bb888 for your message.
My husband still has lots of his personal stuff here.
If I can put my mind to it I am going to start sorting the house out as it will have to be done. I can think of a couple of things that really annoy me!
I am definitely getting new bedding!
Thank you xx

Hi hush, I actually redecorated my bedroom, and made it more feminine and just for me. I also had a cull of anything pertaining to him, stupid golf trophies and shit like that, from around the house.

You are doing just fine, xx

Good morning Hush. I slept quite well thank you.
Beside my bed is my clock radio, some nice hand cream, my cup of tea and my glasses.
In fact, as I look around it's all a bit of a mess in here so this morning I will put up the new curtains, change my sheets and return it to my 'haven of tranquility'.
You could start boxing up his things - he may not like it but it's time to take a bit of control. Get all of his things out of your bedroom, get your new bedding and maybe a throw? A diffuser? A new rug?
I'll watch Silent Witness on catch up later!

Thank you Hobbitwife001 for your message.
I am going to try and make it my bedroom, but at the moment there is still loads of his stuff out in the room.
Also this house is going to be sold eventually.
Thank you for your support xx

Good morning louisa. I am glad that you slept quite well.
I hope you turn your room back into your 'haven of tranquillity'.
I think I may start boxing up some of his stuff, or at lease the stuff that is just out in the room.
I hope you enjoy Silent Witness on catch up later? xx

Good morning. One good thing about today is it is bright and sunny outside. I hope it is where you are?x

Out of sight, out of mind, hush my lovely, get it all into a box out of your room, it all helps in this horrible process.
I think it's too soon for you to tackle the house just yet, small steps, until you are a little stronger, and you will be, I promise you.

Thank you again Hobbitwife001.
I think you are right about it being too soon to tackle the house yet. What worries me is that all of a sudden lots of things will have to be done at once and that I will not be able to cope!
Have a good day xx

Small steps Hush..
Start with creating one little bit of space from him. And then another when your ready.
The sun is still out here so am about to take puppy out for his afternoon walk. Take care xx

Thank you again louisatwo.
i will start with small steps.
We still have some sun here too.
Enjoy your walk with your puppy.
Take care xx

On my bedside table: a nice light, radio, books, a pen and notepad in case I think of something I want to remember. I have two quilts on the bed to keep me warm! I also keep my iPad handy. I agree about the small steps ... Thinking of you xx

Just popping by to wish you well...