Who is aware that their DP watches porn?

[showsomeclass]

And how do you feel about it?

[Needcaffeinenow]

Ordinaryman I am aware that porn depicts all shapes and sizes yada yada. I am probably biased as I work in a job that sees how damaging the industry is and what it can fuel.

Also, neuropsychological evidence for brain chemistry changes due to porn and its effects.

Like I said, some people can become addicted, some won't. Click onto porn hub and you will have to wade through a plethora of women being subserviant to the men to get to whatever genre it is you think doesn't depict that.

There are of course many varieties, I know that. I was merely giving my opinion that if a partner of mine chose to watch it, it isn't a characteristic I would find attractive in them. That is my perogative, just as I don't eat battery eggs.....

What I detest is that fact that is apparently so normalised and women are conditioned into believing it is fine & acceptable. That everyone should lump it is as it is what all men do. Structure of oppression right there.

I am no prude, no Mary Whitehouse. Just in answer to OP original question, I wouldn't be ok with it.

[NewLife4Me]

Yes, I don't mind because I watch it myself, sometimes.
We even watch together, sometimes.

I think if you don't like it, have told your partner from the outset that you don't it must be difficult if they then want to watch.

[imwithspud]

women are conditioned into believing it is fine & acceptable. That everyone should lump it is as it is what all men do.

I agree. The amount of times I've been told to essentially get over it if I talk about how porn and my dp watching it makes me feel. Just because it seems to be a fairly common pass time, doesn't mean mine and other people's feelings on it don't matter.

I don't believe that 99% of men/people watch porn, I'm sure most people have watched it at some point (I have), but I doubt such a large percentage of people continue to do so habitually. Unless someone can provide actual figures to prove this then I'll stand corrected.

[Chamonix1]

I don't think dh does...due to working from home etc and having a house full all the time, I'm always about! Maybe that's why he sits on the toilet for 30 minutes at a time.
I'm sure he has though, personally I don't agree with it at all. If he watched it regularly it would bother me I'm sure.

[AnyFucker]

There is a large difference between "have watched porn" and "is a regular user of porn"

I am anti-porn and would find it nonsensical to campaign against something I have no knowledge/experience of.

Lots of people have "seen" porn and made their own mind up, sooner or later, that it isn't for them

Somebody should do a study about that phenomenon. It is far too simplistic to say "most people have seen porn"

[SnuffleGruntSnorter]

My husband does and I honestly don't mind at all. He knows it's no more realistic than Star Wars so I have no concerns about expecting similar in real life.

[smallfry16]

Hmmmmn Snuffle I thought that until I happened upon the escorts website. Some men once hooked take it further.

[RivieraKid]

Kind of depends whether they're hooked or not, though, doesn't it? There's a hell of a difference between occasional viewing and addiction. One does not automatically lead to the other.

[Sallystyle]

DH doesn't watch it. He is against it.

He tried it when he was a young teen. He didn't like it, said it turned him off.

I know he is telling the truth, even if people on MN have tried to convince me otherwise in the past.

[Ledkr]

Don't think mine does, we never seen to have a lot of time tbh so it would have to be quick, we shag quite a bit tho

[DownstairsMixUp]

My dh does though I don't think loads. I don't like it myself and have told him. One of them issues we can't see eye to eye on.

[PrimeDirective]

Men and women who use these sites are inadequate lovers, and would willingly have affairs.
Bollocks

DH and I have both watched porn, on our own and together. We've both had health problems that has meant sex has not been possible for periods of time. Porn has been a useful masturbation tool at times and added a bit of fun to a night in together. It's never been very regular, just an occasional thing. We are quite choosy on the type - the fake boobs and perfect bodies do nothing for us. Amateur and ethical are much more erotic.

[showsomeclass]

Thank you everyone for your honesty - quite a mixture of opinions!

I personally haven't watched porn for a couple of years. When I was with my previous DP, we did together quite a lot, and I know he did alone. This relationship wasn't particularly healthy though, or long term evidently - but I knew that all along and didn't pretend otherwise.

This relationship is completely different. It's loving and respectful, and the thought of watching porn with him feels wrong! I think I value the relationship too much to taint it. At the same time though, after a few drinks, I could probably be easily persuaded but am sure I would regret it in the morning

I wonder if I should bring the subject up gently. If he's going to do it, I'd rather know about it so I can at least gauge whether it is happening often or not. I can't stand the thought of him replacing being intimate with me with that. I'm interested to know what type of porn he watches too as that might be a problem to me if 'nasty'. What I found this morning was quite tame to be fair

I'm sure those anti-porn would disagree that any of it could be regarded as tame so sorry to those who do think that. I completely respect everyone's opinions. I am not aware of the backgrounds of some of the girls that do do it and if they are being abused (or have been) in any way then I feel bad. Perhaps I should educate myself a bit more!

[startrek90]

My DH does but is trying to stop. He is addicted. He has said it is a big problem for him. It's horrible to see the damage it has done but to give him credit he is getting there (albeit slowly).

I do wish though that the pro porn lot would acknowledge the problems porn can cause and the damage it can inflict on young people. Particularly teenage boys. Yes porn has always been around but never has it been so freely available.

I grew up in the internet generation and in my regrettable experience the free access to porn has fucked up a lot of atitudes to srx

[startrek90]

Sorry attitudes to sex

[lucymootoo]

I know DH does and he knows I do. We have tried to watch it together but I don't feel comfortable doing that.

[SpendSpendSpend]

I hate it.

Dh was forced to watch it as a young child by his father.

I grew up thinking thats how women were suppose to be as thats what men liked due to being exposed to it by a relative via a computer as a very young teen.

As a teen i wanted to run a brothel when i was older as i believed that you were more attractive if you was in that industry.

I cringe now when i think of that.

I now hate the whole industry on it.

Dh is not bothered by it, knows i dont like it and i wouldnt be able to stay with him if i ever found out he watched it since i ve known him

[showsomeclass]

Gosh Spend

You've had a very extreme, detrimental experience and I totally understand your feelings

I'm sorry you went through that

[SpendSpendSpend]

You know what the strange thing is? I wasnt bothered by it until i got pregnant. As soon as i got pregnant i changed in alot of ways and dd is now 3 years old and my views on things have changed dramatically since falling pregnant

[showsomeclass]

Well I think that your natural protective instinct comes in doesn't it. What was somehow accepted as normal before, suddenly and really becomes something you need to protect your DD from - even if it means just changing how you view things actively in your own mind, as you are setting an example for your boy. I admire you

[SpendSpendSpend]

Another memory has just come to me..

I remember telling a school friend at the age of 11 ish that i wouldnt mind being a prostitute when i was older if it paid the bills. My friend was gobsmacked and i couldnt understand why she didnt understand why i thought that was ok!!

I also wanted to have a reputation for being a slag when i was old enough for sex.

When i think back now i think what the fuck was i thinking??

[imwithspud]

I often worry about my dd's and how porn could affect them in the future. It's already so readily available now, what will it be like 15/20 years down the line?? How much more available will it be by then? What will the 'expectations' be? You can educate and teach them but past a certain point there's only so much you can do isn't there?

Having grown up in the 'Internet generation' and experiencing it myself to an extent it's something I really worry about.

[SpendSpendSpend]

At the moment im having CBT for anxiety and the lady whos helping me has picked up on my lioness behaviour towards dd. As im so protective of dd and go overboard to ensure she always has the best etc.

[VioletRoller]

I used to as a teen. Watched with partners too (well the ones who did). The more I became informed the more I went off it. I was just watching amature in the end and now don't watch anything.

I couldn't be in a long term relationship with a man who watched porn. If they did and "couldn't" stop then just not the man for me.

Also second the comment about the difference between "people who watch porn" as opposed to "have seen it."

It seems "cool" to be okay with it to the point of demeaning people who think differently...

[Jan45]

99% of men do not watch porn, why even say that.

I don't like it, don't feel the need to use it, either does my partner, we have a healthy sex life, in fact we find most of it hilarious - I prefer to use my own imagination, I also don't like the whole porn/ethical debate around it and the clear abuse of females in the industry.