Who is aware that their DP watches porn?

[showsomeclass]

And how do you feel about it?

[Helmetbymidnight]

Some men don't watch porn. I've seen plenty of men on mumsnet say they're not interested in porn.

Yes still you get posters like llhj insisting that 99% of men watch porn.

Why is that?

[Helmetbymidnight]

Ordinary man, your idea that the men who made porn in the 1970s and 1980s were as equally abused as women is ridiculous, but you know that, right?

[Zorbathegeek]

I can see how you are amazed on how the issue is so divisive, ordinaryman if you see the world in a vacuum, outside any sort of social context. Of course porn (or some version) has been around for centuries, but women have been oppressed forever, too. So even though there may be many niche markets for certain types of porn, and some with consenting adults (as I am sure some is, rather like online dogging) porn has developed from the fundamental view of women being only valuable as sexual objects. I think anything that perpetuates this is damaging for everyone, male or female. Women grow up in the very same society as men, and so often we don't feel the injustice because it's all we've known.

One interesting study recently (must try to find it) showed that all humans are aroused by visual images of sex acts, even if they are not consciously aware of it, and that (hetersexual) women were in fact biologically/physiologically more aroused by more varied things than men: FM, FF, MM, monkeys, you name it. Unlike men who were only turned on by images that fit their own sexual preferences. This is so telling, I think. It shows that we've been socialised into thinking that porn is a man thing, as its main consumers are men - it's socially acceptable for men to watch it, go to lap dancing clubs etc. It clearly is not a biological drive for a man, it's a human thing to enjoy watching others have sex, it's just that women for centuries have been packaged as the main sexual comodities.

[goddessofsmallthings]

I wouldn't entertain having a relationship with any man whose imagination is so impoverished that he watches porn and I deplore the fact that it's so freely available online to impressionable young minds.

[Helmetbymidnight]

"I liken porn to a supermarket"



What a knob.

[Owllady]

I've been with him twenty years and tbh it's never even been discussed
I suppose that's weird :o

[ordinaryman]

@Helmetbymidnight

And you have the audacity to talk about abuse. Oh the irony...

[Helmetbymidnight]

You are comparing the well-documented rape, violence and terrible injuries women in porn in the 70s and 80s endured with me calling you a knob?

Serious?

[Threefishys]

goddess are you honestly saying that you have to have an impoverished imagination to watch porn? What sort of condescending twaddle is that? Are you in a relationship? Is your partner ok and accepting of your blinkered and clearly fearful views and sweeping generalisations? If they are then cling on with both hands because you've met your soulmate

[ordinaryman]

@Helmetbymidnight

"You are comparing the well-documented rape, violence and terrible injuries women in porn in the 70s and 80s endured with me calling you a knob?

Serious?"

I'm talking about having a serious adult debate without descending into infantile name calling.

[LineyReborn]

ordinaryman What load of self-serving, mansplaining bollocks.

[ordinaryman]

@
Zorbathegeek

Some interesting points. Abuse and sexualisation of anyone against their will is and always has been wrong. Increasing amounts of porn these days is made by women apparently and I'm all for a more educated and balanced approach. Afterall, I concern myself with my partner's sexual happiness just as much as my own and would like to see this reflected more in porn, as I think it more often is in the aforementioned 'amateur' productions.

[goddessofsmallthings]

Far from being "blinkered" and "fearful" I have a robustly realistic view of the porn industry, Threefishys, and I feel sorry for anyone whose imagination is so lacking that they cannot a) get their rocks off without resorting to watching porn and b) comprehend the misery that it causes.

[ordinaryman]

@LineyReborn

Thank you for your contribution. Anything to add to the debate, or just name calling from you too?

[Owllady]

What I find baffling is that the majority of workers in supermarkets are women, yet the management are very heavily male.
Why is that?

[Helmetbymidnight]

A serious adult debate with someone who thinks the male porn actors have been abused on an equal scale to women? With someone who likens porn to a supermarket? Errr No can do ;)

[LineyReborn]

I think it's beyond sad how people minimise the damage that the porn industry does to real individuals and relationships. Denial and arrogance.

[goddessofsmallthings]

Increasing amounts of porn these days is made by women apparently

Can you please substantiate your statement (above) by linking to relevant research/'statistics, ordinaryman?

[ordinaryman]

@goddessofsmallthings

"Increasing amounts of porn these days is made by women apparently

Can you please substantiate your statement (above) by linking to relevant research/'statistics, ordinaryman?"


www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/mar/22/porn-women

"... a number of women, tired of mainstream porn and tired of criticising it without offering an alternative, are making the porn films they want to watch."

Plenty more on Google and news sites...

[Bobblehat10]

Ordinaryman.
Completely wasting your time with a section of society that see porn as 'wrong'.
An educated view may be to see the abuse of people, be it man or woman to be wrong. Porn in itself is neither moral nor immoral.
Given that it has been around for thousands of years it seems to me representative of a basic human need, and seems unlikely to die out in the near future.
I think the views you have expressed are measured and mature, and not like some of the views expressed more recently.
For couples to find the viewing of porn to be a divorce issue to me seems completely amazing. It's a bit like saying I'm divorcing because DP looks at landscape photos.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

My Dh watches it. Not an issue.

[Savagebeauty]

I like erotica, as does my partner.
Not the plastic boobed, and totally staged porn which is around.

[AnyFucker]

For couples to find the viewing of porn to be a divorce issue to me seems completely amazing. It's a bit like saying I'm divorcing because DP looks at landscape photos.

That is quite the stupidest pro-porn argument I have ever seen. And I have seen a lot.

[ChoudeBruxelles]

Yes he does. None of my business. He doesn't question me about what I get up to on my own

[jellycake]

Most men (and women) have watched porn. I read an article about a study where the scientists wanted to look at the responses of men who had watched porn compared to those who had not but couldn't find any respondents for the 'have never watched porn' category.
Just looked it up and screen shot it as it was from 'the Fail'.