Who is aware that their DP watches porn?

[showsomeclass]

And how do you feel about it?

[PrimeDirective]

viridus there is nothing logical in your assumption at all! You've made that up to fit your own opinion.

[LaPharisienne]

Lol - what a load of rubbish!

[viridus]

So a chap uses porn and his wife/partner accepts it and they both see it as a harmless activity.

They both are willing to use other peoples bodies for their own gratification. When their own relationship gets into difficulties and their sex life becomes problematic, or a problem arises it is then logical to assume that they would have no qualms about having an affair.

[Fratelli]

I know he does very occasionally. I don't care as we have a great sex life! In a healthy relationship you should both be able to masturbate however you choose. As long as it doesn't affect your relationship of course.

[LaPharisienne]

DP watches it, I watch it, sometimes (rarely) we watch together.

I really minded when an ex told me he watched porn and got quite upset, but for some reason don't mind at all with DP. Think this is because we are very happy together, have a great sex life and, crucially, given the choice we'd always rather bonk each other (not implying that anyone who does mind isn't or doesn't or wouldn't of course - just my take).

[ShortandSweeter]

..my ex girlfriend did. Didn't bother me as such. She used to send me video snippets that I ignored.

[donajimena]

I don't know. I've never asked. Its none of my business.

[Branleuse]

Mine watches it here and there. I dont see it as any of my business.

Weve watched it together in the past, ive watched it by myself and enjoyed it, but I dont really like it anymore since im more informed about the issues in the whole sex industry, and havent watched it for years, and I dont even think dp watches it much anymore tbh, but i dont consider it anything to do with me or our relationship if he does or not. We have discussed it though.

[Jan45]

99% of men do not watch porn, why even say that.

I don't like it, don't feel the need to use it, either does my partner, we have a healthy sex life, in fact we find most of it hilarious - I prefer to use my own imagination, I also don't like the whole porn/ethical debate around it and the clear abuse of females in the industry.

[VioletRoller]

I used to as a teen. Watched with partners too (well the ones who did). The more I became informed the more I went off it. I was just watching amature in the end and now don't watch anything.

I couldn't be in a long term relationship with a man who watched porn. If they did and "couldn't" stop then just not the man for me.

Also second the comment about the difference between "people who watch porn" as opposed to "have seen it."

It seems "cool" to be okay with it to the point of demeaning people who think differently...

[SpendSpendSpend]

At the moment im having CBT for anxiety and the lady whos helping me has picked up on my lioness behaviour towards dd. As im so protective of dd and go overboard to ensure she always has the best etc.

[imwithspud]

I often worry about my dd's and how porn could affect them in the future. It's already so readily available now, what will it be like 15/20 years down the line?? How much more available will it be by then? What will the 'expectations' be? You can educate and teach them but past a certain point there's only so much you can do isn't there?

Having grown up in the 'Internet generation' and experiencing it myself to an extent it's something I really worry about.

[SpendSpendSpend]

Another memory has just come to me..

I remember telling a school friend at the age of 11 ish that i wouldnt mind being a prostitute when i was older if it paid the bills. My friend was gobsmacked and i couldnt understand why she didnt understand why i thought that was ok!!

I also wanted to have a reputation for being a slag when i was old enough for sex.

When i think back now i think what the fuck was i thinking??

[showsomeclass]

Well I think that your natural protective instinct comes in doesn't it. What was somehow accepted as normal before, suddenly and really becomes something you need to protect your DD from - even if it means just changing how you view things actively in your own mind, as you are setting an example for your boy. I admire you

[SpendSpendSpend]

You know what the strange thing is? I wasnt bothered by it until i got pregnant. As soon as i got pregnant i changed in alot of ways and dd is now 3 years old and my views on things have changed dramatically since falling pregnant

[showsomeclass]

Gosh Spend

You've had a very extreme, detrimental experience and I totally understand your feelings

I'm sorry you went through that

[SpendSpendSpend]

I hate it.

Dh was forced to watch it as a young child by his father.

I grew up thinking thats how women were suppose to be as thats what men liked due to being exposed to it by a relative via a computer as a very young teen.

As a teen i wanted to run a brothel when i was older as i believed that you were more attractive if you was in that industry.

I cringe now when i think of that.

I now hate the whole industry on it.

Dh is not bothered by it, knows i dont like it and i wouldnt be able to stay with him if i ever found out he watched it since i ve known him

[lucymootoo]

I know DH does and he knows I do. We have tried to watch it together but I don't feel comfortable doing that.

[startrek90]

Sorry attitudes to sex

[startrek90]

My DH does but is trying to stop. He is addicted. He has said it is a big problem for him. It's horrible to see the damage it has done but to give him credit he is getting there (albeit slowly).

I do wish though that the pro porn lot would acknowledge the problems porn can cause and the damage it can inflict on young people. Particularly teenage boys. Yes porn has always been around but never has it been so freely available.

I grew up in the internet generation and in my regrettable experience the free access to porn has fucked up a lot of atitudes to srx

[showsomeclass]

Thank you everyone for your honesty - quite a mixture of opinions!

I personally haven't watched porn for a couple of years. When I was with my previous DP, we did together quite a lot, and I know he did alone. This relationship wasn't particularly healthy though, or long term evidently - but I knew that all along and didn't pretend otherwise.

This relationship is completely different. It's loving and respectful, and the thought of watching porn with him feels wrong! I think I value the relationship too much to taint it. At the same time though, after a few drinks, I could probably be easily persuaded but am sure I would regret it in the morning

I wonder if I should bring the subject up gently. If he's going to do it, I'd rather know about it so I can at least gauge whether it is happening often or not. I can't stand the thought of him replacing being intimate with me with that. I'm interested to know what type of porn he watches too as that might be a problem to me if 'nasty'. What I found this morning was quite tame to be fair

I'm sure those anti-porn would disagree that any of it could be regarded as tame so sorry to those who do think that. I completely respect everyone's opinions. I am not aware of the backgrounds of some of the girls that do do it and if they are being abused (or have been) in any way then I feel bad. Perhaps I should educate myself a bit more!

[PrimeDirective]

Men and women who use these sites are inadequate lovers, and would willingly have affairs.
Bollocks

DH and I have both watched porn, on our own and together. We've both had health problems that has meant sex has not been possible for periods of time. Porn has been a useful masturbation tool at times and added a bit of fun to a night in together. It's never been very regular, just an occasional thing. We are quite choosy on the type - the fake boobs and perfect bodies do nothing for us. Amateur and ethical are much more erotic.

[DownstairsMixUp]

My dh does though I don't think loads. I don't like it myself and have told him. One of them issues we can't see eye to eye on.

[Ledkr]

Don't think mine does, we never seen to have a lot of time tbh so it would have to be quick, we shag quite a bit tho

[Sallystyle]

DH doesn't watch it. He is against it.

He tried it when he was a young teen. He didn't like it, said it turned him off.

I know he is telling the truth, even if people on MN have tried to convince me otherwise in the past.