devastated and can't cope

[Mypubesarestraight]

My dp left me yesterday after 18 years and 3 Dc together.

He did all this while I was in work. I came home to 3 upset children and I just can't cope.

He said he needs a few weeks to think about what he wants and if he still wants to be with me.

I have removed my Facebook so I can't see any posts or pictures that his friends will post (twats) and I've deleted his number.

I don't know what to do.

Chin up, you are a week on and still here.
Maybe as your kids are so upset you could exercise your acting talents and show strength around them.
They say fake it till you make it don't they.
Can you make a plan for the weekend to look forward to with the children.
Maybe the cinema or out for pizza.
I used to feel quite boosted by doing something on my own with them, it made me feel strong and capable.

I agree with Ledkr - we are off to the Zoo on Sunday. Doing something together and some fresh air will do everyone some good, and it does make you feel stronger.

Oh Isabella your story sounds very much like mine... XH fell for best mates wife, was texting her all day every day, first thing in morning, last thing at night, then started to criticize everything that I did. He walked out with no warning whatsoever, came back for 6 weeks because I begged him to, made me feel like everything was going to be ok, then left again.

I took it all on board, how it was all my fault and how I needed to change! When in reality, it was nothing that I had done, he had just fallen for her.

Sorry My slight derailment there, but I know exactly what Isabella is going through.

My It is hard, it is so very hard. You wonder how you can carry on, how you can live without him. But you do and you can. Just be kind to yourself, tiny steps, one thing at a time. Set yourself a small goal each day. Try and keep yourself busy.

I had to carry on working as I am self employed and had a £700 mortgage to pay on my own, so if I didn't bring any money in I was stuffed. So I had to keep on putting one foot in front of the other and going to work and getting DD ready for preschool and so on and so on and so on.

I cried so many tears I didn't think I would ever stop. But I did. It takes time, just so much time to come to terms with everything. Counselling will help a lot, so does talking to people. Are you talking to friends or family?

My friends, family and his family are all being brilliant.
Everyone is shocked that he's done this because they said he was smitten with me.

That's what makes it worse, how can he do this if he loves me?

My oh where do I begin.... I though that XH loved me, I thought we were meant to be together for ever, I thought he was The One.... yet he was able to sit there one evening and simply announce that he wasn't happy and didn't want to be here any more. It destroyed me.

My whole family was shocked as XH appeared to be a very quiet man, an adoring father, hardworking, loved his life and his home and his family.

But he still did it. He still walked away from his home, his loving wife and his adoring daughter. As much as I have moved on, part of me is still in shock that it happened.

This is going to sound harsh, but if he loved you, he wouldn't treat you like this. At the moment, he loves himself and nobody else.

All you will do is tear yourself apart wondering how and why. You may never know, if he won't tell you. My XH became very cold and callous and didn't want to discuss anything.

It is so hard to accept and I can feel your pain literally jumping off the page, because I remember it so well, but at the moment there is nothing you can say to him that will make a difference because he doesn't want to hear it.

Because my love.. he doesn't love you.

Love is being there for someone through thick and thin. Knowing that things can get shit but you don't countenance the thought of leaving. Knowing that you could not possibly do anything to hurt the person you are with, let alone cause them the level of pain and upset he has caused you.

You are a week into your new world. Treat yourself kindly and gently. You will survive because you are a mum and you have to for your kids sake. You are doing brilliantly. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. We are all here for you.