I'm chatting online to an illegal immigrant

[sparklesnpearls]

He's from Iran and on his pictures looks lovely and friendly.

His English is pretty good but he asking me to help him learn English as he doesn't want to return to his home country as he has changed his religion which is very serious there. He gave himself up to police and is now awaiting an interview with home office.

I just feel sorry for him but I'm worried about the implications of a potential relationship with him.

Any advice ?

Sorry, you sound like a soft touch and there are plenty looking to exploit this. Avoid those with sob stories. He is n't going to learn English by chatting online and I'd put money on him having several similar conversations going on.

Sorry, you sound like a soft touch

Really? I think she's dealt with this really well.

I mean that he has found her sympathetic to his plight and was potentially grooming her. Fortunately the alarm bells have sounded and I'd agree she has dealt with it well, others more vulnerable may not be so lucky.

R

Good!
Can I just say, I have no prejudice against foreigners (married one) middle easterners (dating one) or illegal immigrants (also dated one in the past! Met irl not online) but this whole story stunk from the first. Because he was reeling you in with a sob story. What the story was almost didn't matter.

Just to say he could have been genuine but was hurt by the fact that you turned him on or the questions you asked (if influenced by the mumsnet vitriol)
Someone mentioned the daily mail-it is obvious where most of you have got your information about immigrants!
He could have been genuine-most immigrants/asylum seekers coming into the country are isolated and lonely
-he would have been placed in a hostel-detention centres are generally saved for criminals (and no, not all asylum seekers are criminals), or those who have a case which is likely to fail and where they can be removed easily
-given our relationship with Iran, it can be hard to remove Iranians-it can take years
-his claim appears to have some merit and will take some time to consider
-if it was to fail then he may be removed, not deported. Only criminals get deported.
-marrying a British national will not enable him to stay in the Uk. He wouldn't even be able to marry her here. They'd have to return to Iran (not easy for a British national) , marry and then apply for leave to return-an incredibly difficult process.
Maybe-just maybe, this man was just looking for a friend. No wonder Cameron will do nothing to help the Syrian refugees when this is the attitude of the British public!

Chocolate - all that is possible except for the glaring point that he was trawling dating sites. People new to the uk and looking for friendship don't look on dating sites.

If he was genuine he'd have been happy to tell all about his story.

And hurt that she turned him on? WTH?

ChocholateDrops Umm, I think you need to read the thread again. Any vitriol on this thread is correctly directed at SCAMMERS not at foreigners or illegal immigrants. It's naive to think that this person was who he said is was.
Of course, if you really think we are all big meanies then you could ask the OP to pass on his details so you can 'befriend' him yourself

I think chocolate means turned on him not turned him on!

Chocolate drops yes I agree with what you have said and to be honest he did seem really hurt that I'd questioned him so aggressively which I did as I had to.

On the other hand, i had to be careful and him going off in a huff speaks volumes to me.

How aggressively did you question him? Or did you need to because he was avoiding the answers?

It is odd that you managed to talk about you not having children and he goes on a huff over you wanting to know more about his life.

^ was about to say the same thing as Lweji^

You cant ask about his life but he knows you cant have children within a week? Nothing to do with immigrants - massive alarm bells in any case of OLD to me!

Lweji I just asked him about where he was living, why he was on a dating site things like that.

He admitted he had family in UK but didn't want to see them for some reason

Scarletts and Chocolate- I am glad you both exist!
Whatever the truth of this.

I am really pleased you questioned him and hopefully lesson learnt..Won't be a waste

Just wanted to point out the sad stories intended to make you feel sorry for them is a huge red flag regardless of their nationality.

Been there done that and after 15 years of apparent adoration from my Iranian hubby ( UK and Iran) He fucked off to Iran without so much as a goodbye! After some detective work it transpires that his moonlight flit coincided with his coming into a substantial inheritance in Iran !