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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

First Date - Terrified!

127 replies

thehillshaveyes · 01/01/2016 18:27

I've arranged to go on a date with a man I've been chatting to on Tinder for a few weeks. He seems nice and looks good on photos apart from the fact that he covers his mouth on most of them so I'm wondering what that's about. I'll never know unless I meet him!

It's my first date since my ex and I broke up a year ago and I'm so, so nervous! We're going for a couple of drinks which should break the ice a little. Does anyone have any first date tips?

OP posts:
SevenOfNineTrue · 01/01/2016 18:31

Relax Smile It is just a few drinks so have fun and if you like him, great. If not, then nothing really lost just have an exit strategy if there is no spark.

RedMapleLeaf · 01/01/2016 19:01

Keep a little bit back about yourself, definitely don't talk about anything sad or disclose anything private.

See it as nothing more than a couple of drinks and some fun.

Hmm, I'm not very good at this. I've got a first proper date tomorrow and am feeling equally nervous Grin

Ticktacktock · 01/01/2016 20:08

I'm so envious of your first dates, it sounds so exciting!

I presume you are meeting this man in a public place, and not your place or his?

Have a fab time ladies x

Ticktacktock · 01/01/2016 20:08

I meant not your house or his

RedMapleLeaf · 01/01/2016 20:19

Heck,ticktacktock you can have my date if you want, I don't think I can stand the stress Grin

Ticktacktock · 01/01/2016 20:29

Yes please, I could do with a one night stand and a good shag. I've never had a one night stand in my life and I'm 52.

Hope it goes well x

RedMapleLeaf · 01/01/2016 20:32

Perhaps a bit too late for OP but I'm now looking at First Date Conversation/Action Tips For Women! on YouTube.

Ticktacktock · 01/01/2016 20:35

Isn't the internet wonderful Grin

RedMapleLeaf · 01/01/2016 20:50

For future readers Grin my research produces:

  1. Look feminine. Hmm
  2. Smell good.
  3. Keep it light and don't disclose anything too personal. Try to change the subject if he gets too personal/heavy about himself.
  4. Don't talk too much. Definitely not gossipy or bitchy. Listen to what clues the man gives about himself and what he's like.
  5. Don't try too hard. Be yourself but be confident and calm.
  6. Keep calm, don't get dramatic or negative if something goes wrong. Keep comments about the meal etc positive.
  7. End the date. Keep them wanting more.
  8. Thank your date sincerely. Don't send a text afterwards.
  9. After the date wait for him to contact you.
  10. Reply when he contacts you.

Hmm, I'm going to struggle with one or two of these!

FlatOnTheHill · 01/01/2016 21:38

I don't think he's got any teeth Grin

PrincessBooBoo · 01/01/2016 21:48

Oh God! Bad teeth! My bete noire I'm afraid, I wouldn't risk it...

thehillshaveyes · 01/01/2016 22:02

Sorry for the misleading post, my dates not until next week - we just arranged it earlier Smile

Thank you for the tips Red, you'll have to let us know how your date goes tomorrow!

I'm actually really worried about the teeth situation, I can't handle bad teeth! They don't have to be perfectly straight but they must be clean and looked after. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt though Grin

OP posts:
experiencedpresenthider · 01/01/2016 22:23

If (when!) he asks you on a second date, don't be so relieved he likes you that you say yes without considering whether you like him too. I'm sorry if that sounds obvious but it's a trap I fell into several times while internet dating. Good luck OP-I'm sure his teeth are fine Smile

ExitStageLeft · 01/01/2016 22:32

I think he's got gappy or crooked teeth, my friend always covers his mouth for that reason!

Good luck op!

thehillshaveyes · 01/01/2016 23:23

I don't mind gappy or crooked as long as it's not extreme! He seems too good to be true so far so if that's the only negative then I can live with that Smile

OP posts:
Overabarell · 01/01/2016 23:46

Good luck; a new exciting beginning at the start of a new year.

RedMapleLeaf · 02/01/2016 20:23

Update from me: today went really well, somehow managed to stay out for much longer than either of us expected. I hope I kept every rule from above, but am going to have to dig deep to not break rules 8b, 9 or 10.

thehillshaveyes · 04/01/2016 11:15

That's great news Red Smile

Have you heard from him since? 2nd date? Mines on Saturday! So nervous/excited!

OP posts:
RedMapleLeaf · 04/01/2016 11:41

I'd got in to my head that he'd be in touch by Tuesday (and if he didn't, then that was that). He text yesterday Smile and we exchanged a couple of friendly texts. I'm now fighting hard to resist asking him out on second date, it's his turn Grin

How are you in touch with your date? Have you exchanged numbers? Have you got your outfit planned? Isn't it a bitter-sweet torture all of this?!

Goingtobeawesome · 04/01/2016 11:43

Why play games, Red? If you want to see him again, tell him!

thehillshaveyes · 04/01/2016 11:47

Where did you go for your date? Did you have any awkward silences? That's my worst fear! Fingers crossed he asks you out again soon Smile

Yeah we exchanged numbers after about 2 weeks and we've been texting every day so far. He always texts first so he seems keen. I just hope there's a spark there when we finally meet. I have no idea what to wear to be honest. Any tips? Grin

OP posts:
RedMapleLeaf · 04/01/2016 13:04

Oh I've been straight Going, we both agreed to a second date. I hope it's not game-playing, but I just don't want to rush in to something, or more accurately rush him in to something. Does that make sense? Sad

RedMapleLeaf · 04/01/2016 13:05

"Agreed to wanting to see each other again" that should say.

RedMapleLeaf · 04/01/2016 13:10

We drove out to a nearby national park and had lunch. I can't remember any awkward silences, but we were both on good behaviour I guess.

If there's no spark, he could still be a friend to do social stuff with?

Re what to wear, what are your plans / rough time of day?

Goingtobeawesome · 04/01/2016 13:25

I'd text and say you are free on Saturday, so would he like to meet for lunch?

When I met DH we would only see each other twice a week as lived far apart but we always said bye knowing which day we would seen each other again.

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