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Relationships

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Original poster

First Date - Terrified!

127 replies

thehillshaveyes · 01/01/2016 18:27

I've arranged to go on a date with a man I've been chatting to on Tinder for a few weeks. He seems nice and looks good on photos apart from the fact that he covers his mouth on most of them so I'm wondering what that's about. I'll never know unless I meet him!

It's my first date since my ex and I broke up a year ago and I'm so, so nervous! We're going for a couple of drinks which should break the ice a little. Does anyone have any first date tips?

OP posts:

RedMapleLeaf · 04/01/2016 13:41

I will definitely do that before I lose sight of him, but it's still early days.

RedMapleLeaf · 04/01/2016 13:42

I wasn't expecting to have heard from him at all until tomorrow.

Original poster

thehillshaveyes · 04/01/2016 15:58

We're going for a couple of drinks on Saturday evening so I'm guessing most people will be dressed up. I think I'll have to play it safe and wear my skinny jeans that hold everything in with a nice top. I don't know how tall he is so I don't think I'll wear heels.

It all seems too good to be true so far. He's really lovely and we both have daughter's with only a year between them. Good personality, smart, funny! I don't want to to build my hopes up too much.

Going to a national park sounds lovely. May have to bear that in mind IF there's a second date

OP posts:

RedMapleLeaf · 04/01/2016 16:59

Skinny jeans and a top sounds perfect, and I think that you're wise (and kind) to go for non-heels just in case.

Have you told him you're a bit nervous?

Original poster

thehillshaveyes · 04/01/2016 19:35

No I haven't told him but he said he will be nervous. That makes me feel a little bit better but I hope we're not too nervous to enjoy it! What do I say when I first meet him after hello etc?!

OP posts:

RedMapleLeaf · 04/01/2016 22:22

"Isn't this nerve-racking?!"?

Maybe not.

RedMapleLeaf · 04/01/2016 22:24

I normally come out with something very honest like, "ooh, you smell nice"

DrMorbius · 04/01/2016 23:45

I totally disagree, if it's a Saturday night drinks, then heels should be high. As they say - go high or go home

Original poster

thehillshaveyes · 05/01/2016 08:23

Even though I'm 5'8 without? I don't want to be looking down on him!

OP posts:

DrMorbius · 05/01/2016 08:57

Even though I am 5'9" I would prefer it. It's a sign of confidence. Head up shoulders back...

ARV1981 · 05/01/2016 08:58

Dress so you're comfortable. Flats, heels, whatever you prefer. If you normally wear heels, would you want to potentially give them up so a man doesn't feel "belittled" by you for an entire relationship? If you only wear heels occasionally (which I suspect is the case as you're tall already) and would actually be more comfortable in flats then wear flats. You can always get the heels out on another date (though not to a national park, lol).

Finally, have fun and enjoy yourself xxx

Original poster

thehillshaveyes · 05/01/2016 15:38

I only wear them when I go out with friends but I don't particularly enjoy wearing them! Think it will have to be flats. I'll be more confident if I'm not having to concentrate on walking

Oh god is it normal to be this nervous?

OP posts:

pocketsaviour · 05/01/2016 15:59

Sod the heels. Comfort rules. Good luck

ScarletBegonias · 05/01/2016 16:15

Wearing flats sounds good to me too, as you'll be more comfortable and less likely to tower over him (or fall over!). He's said he'll be feeling nervous too which sounds normal and like a good sign to me. No reason why you shouldn't both enjoy yourselves - and if it doesn't work out, it's all good experience. You may have gained a friend, if not more.

Best of luck!

DrMorbius · 05/01/2016 16:46

I have not dated for nearly three decades, but as the hot date is a Saturday night (more formal) rather than a Monday - Thursday (possibly Friday as well), is it not expected that you will be more "done up", than on a more casual date? Hence my advice to wear heels.

That said; if you don't usually wear them, then don't wear them this time.

pocketsaviour · 05/01/2016 18:20

FFS DrM, yes she should wear heels regardless of her own fucking ability to walk because it's a Saturday night and god forbid she wasn't meeting patriarchal standards of dress code

RedMapleLeaf · 05/01/2016 18:31

I think Saturday night implies a bit more dressy, but I don't that requires heels.

I have date #2 this weekend and also pondering non outdoorsy outfit.

TooSassy · 05/01/2016 19:16

Ohhhhh. I'm nice and tall and still wear heels on dates. And skirts. But then I love heels and skirts.

Go with what feels right on the night.

Have fun OP! Don't be too nervous!

DrMorbius · 05/01/2016 19:18

FFS back pocket jump right in, don't let the facts get in the way of your opportunity to spout drivel.

Op said I don't know how tall he is so I don't think I'll wear heels

From this, I took it Op wears heels and was deciding what to wear. My post was as it was a Saturday night date, I thought it a bit more formal, and heels may be better.

Then I followed up with That said; if you don't usually wear them, then don't wear them this time. but hey, no fun quoting that is there.

pocketsaviour · 05/01/2016 20:19

Really DrM?

OP @ 15:38: "Think it will have to be flats. I'll be more confident if I'm not having to concentrate on walking"

You @ 16:46: "is it not expected that you will be more "done up", than on a more casual date? Hence my advice to wear heels"

But yeah, you go right ahead "helping" her make a decision.

How often do you wear heels, by the way? Or do you just leave that up to the laydeez?

DrMorbius · 05/01/2016 21:15

Wow pocket did you work for the News of the World? Selective quoting to change the inference. Why don't you just mix up my words and construct the most abusive sentence from the words I used?

Me @ 16:46: "is it not expected that you will be more "done up", than on a more casual date? Hence my advice to wear heels"

That said; if you don't usually wear them, then don't wear them this time

So in the first part I explained the logic behind my earlier comment, the second part I suggest not wearing heels.

I suspect I wear heels about as often as you do

Original poster

thehillshaveyes · 05/01/2016 21:21

If anyone's still interested I'm going for some knee length boots with a medium sized heel

OP posts:

RedMapleLeaf · 05/01/2016 21:24

Have you mentioned the photo thing to him?

Original poster

thehillshaveyes · 05/01/2016 21:29

I tried encouraging him to send me a photo of him smiling but he says he's not photogenic and hates smiling for photos. We've exchanged a couple of pics but he had his mouth closed on both! In every other way he seems great so I'm just going to wait and see.

So glad you have a second date! Are you less nervous this time?

OP posts:

DrMorbius · 05/01/2016 21:42

I am sure you will look super Op. Enjoy your date.

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