Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Totally ruined my Christmas

481 replies

Clarkey2345 · 28/12/2015 14:35

Well as always he ruined my Christmas i spent half hour with our children on christmas morning and didn't get to see my children open there presents because he wasent ready to go and see them after seeing our children we went to his parents house to have Christmas dinner and was there over an hour, then after dinner we went home and he spent the rest of rob night sleeping as usual when i could have been down with my kids watching them playing with there toys and having fun he also said i am ungrateful because he bought me a very expensive phone for Christmas and all i spent was £20 on him for presents.
He also keeps on at me all the time for sex and when i said no he gets angry and says pack your things are f**k off down your mothers house, yet if i tried to leave he would stop me so why tell me to leave in the first place????

OP posts:
Claraoswald36 · 28/12/2015 19:10

4 years of not having your kids in your care?? What is it going to take for you to prioritise them?

Original poster
Clarkey2345 · 28/12/2015 19:13

I am going to my local Womans aid office tomorrow

OP posts:
Baressentials · 28/12/2015 19:16

What time are you going to the WA office?

IamlovedbyG · 28/12/2015 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Clarkey2345 · 28/12/2015 19:18

Baressentials there open all day so can pop in anytime

OP posts:
Original poster
Clarkey2345 · 28/12/2015 19:19

Hi Iamloved I need to go to there local office to make a safety plan and chat about my whole relationship

OP posts:
Baressentials · 28/12/2015 19:20

Have you planned what time you are going to the WA office?

Claraoswald36 · 28/12/2015 19:20

Because your Xmas was ruined - that's your tipping point? Really????

lorelei9 · 28/12/2015 19:21

Clarkey, is there any chance WA will find a place in a refuge for you tomorrow? I do hope so.

WaitrosePigeon · 28/12/2015 19:22

So you're going to 'pop' in for a 'chat'...? Something isn't right here. Those poor children.

Topseyt · 28/12/2015 19:23

I read your other thread when you first posted it.

I do hope you are serious about getting out of this situation. It is the only way things might start to improve for you.

I am another who is unconvinced that this is the whole story. One child was even removed from you at or shortly after birth. That is surely never done lightly.

I get that you may be unable or unwilling to say on here what the full story is, but please make New Year about getting the help you need and beginning to make the necessary changes for yourself and your children.

I will wish you good luck.

IamlovedbyG · 28/12/2015 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

fastdaytears · 28/12/2015 19:27

chat about my whole relationship

No, that is not what you need to do at all. You say you have made your mind up. If you need the practical help that WA can offer then that's one thing but you don't need anyone else to agree with you that you should leave this relationship. That decision is yours. No chatting required whatsoever.

KissMyFatArse · 28/12/2015 19:28

Angry I feel I like people's time and effort to help is just a waste of time, pop in, call for a chat, get more advice....

I'm out

Parker231 · 28/12/2015 19:32

Your plan is that you leave tomorrow with any important papers/possessions in a small case, take the dog and cats to a local kennels/cattery (until they can be fostered), go to the Women's Aid and they will ring the police with you. You then go and see your parents to tell them what has happened and spend some time with your children. YOU DO NOT GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE AGAIN !

Original poster
Clarkey2345 · 28/12/2015 19:32

I am not going to just chat about my relationship it's to tell them about the way he's treating me now and how he's treated me in the past and all the threats he's made towards me and my family should i leave the relationship.

OP posts:
TheSecondViola · 28/12/2015 19:33

But you've been to women's aid before. And they offered you a refuge but you refused it because you would rather keep your dog?
So what will you be "chatting" about this time?

Parker231 · 28/12/2015 19:35

What do you want to happen after the 'chat'?

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 28/12/2015 19:38

Oh ffs. Look, you claim you can't go anywhere yet you go to your parents house daily - all day until you get home for your 'partner' to come home from work.

You have had plenty of time away from him.

You also booked a shopping trip with family away from him. Him saying he'll see about you going after refusing him is neither here nor there.

You are making out that you cannot do anything at all yet you clearly bloody well can. And that takes the piss.

You are blaming him for your kids. It is your own fault!

You are also neglecting to mention on this thread, but not a previous one, that your partners dad also lives with you and apparently puts up with 'abuse' from your partner too.

Oh, and don't forget the 'few cats' that you suddenly remembered when someone came up with a solution for your dog....

Baressentials · 28/12/2015 19:38

What time are you going to WA? Are you planning on taking provisions with you? Do you have a plan in mind as to what you would like to happen and how you will achieve that?

Shutthatdoor · 28/12/2015 19:41

You also need to be honest about what part you played in your DC being removed.

You have said it isn't just him.

If you don't, you won't get them back, or tgey will be removed again.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 28/12/2015 19:41

Do womens aid give out their address these days then? My experience was that they don't!

DioneTheDiabolist · 28/12/2015 19:42

I understand the frustration of some posters here, but it's much easier to walk away from a page on the net than it is to leave an abusive marriage. The OP will leave if she choses to do so. Haranguing her isn't likely to help.

OP, do you have a history of substance mis use?

Funinthesun15 · 28/12/2015 19:45

Oh ffs. Look, you claim you can't go anywhere yet you go to your parents house daily - all day until you get home for your 'partner' to come home from work.

You have had plenty of time away from him.

You also booked a shopping trip with family away from him. Him saying he'll see about you going after refusing him is neither here nor there.

You are making out that you cannot do anything at all yet you clearly bloody well can. And that takes the piss.

You are blaming him for your kids. It is your own fault!

You are also neglecting to mention on this thread, but not a previous one, that your partners dad also lives with you and apparently puts up with 'abuse' from your partner too.

Oh, and don't forget the 'few cats' that you suddenly remembered when someone came up with a solution for your dog

Shock

Clarkey You seriously need to start by being honest with yourself if not us.

If ^ is true, then this thread isn't the full picture

Parker231 · 28/12/2015 19:45

What information do you want from the Women's Aid?