My head is a mess.
I have a boyfriend and he has a gf and a young 8 moth old child.
Both in our 30s.
We used to date when we were kids but for that reason it never progressed into anything.
We've always been friends but there was a attraction between us.
Over the two year we started texting each other a lot and you could say we began a emotional affair but both wanted more.
He has fallen out of love with gf.
I don't know details and I never asked.
We cut off contact because we both knew we were getting in to deep.
That lasted two months then he text me and we started talking again.
We kept telling ourselves it's only friendship we are doing nothing wrong.
I think this was because I thought if I tell myself we are only friends I won't be the shitty person I am being.
We slept together and pretty much told each other the score.
I didn't want to hurt my boyfriend and he can't face not living with his child.
He went on to say that it's all just so complicated and can't stand this guilt he feels and neither can I.
I understand and wouldn't expect Him too ever walk out on his child.
His child comes before anything I do know this.
I am in love with him and I know it's no excuse for what I've done.
I never started this on the hope to steal Him away from them.
He isn't a dick.He isn't a cheat.
I don't even know how we got to that point.
Anyway we have cut all contact because it couldn't continue like that.
His family are innocent and didn't deserve that.
I know I have no right to feel hurt but I am.
I do love Him but I won't ever contact him again now.
He lives 5 mins away from me and we have been friends for so many years it hurts like hell.
I'm so angry that we threw away a friendship.
I wish I never acted on how I feel.
I genuinely believe his feelings for me were real.
I feel sick at what I've done.