works do last night, no wedding ring on Dh this morning

[Onedayinthesun]

We have been together 18 years, 2 Dc and an adult Sc.

No trust issues ever, have never even questioned his faithfulness, I have not once been concerned about anything that would point to cheating at no point in our marriage.

He went out last night to his works Christmas party, I heard him come home at 5am. He slept in the sofa in the kitchen last night at 7.30am I told him to go to bed, he was still drunk - no wedding ring on his finger. I found it in his inside pocket of his suit.

Devastated.

There is no point even asking him why - there is only one reason a man would do this.

I couldn't confront anything this morning I needed to get my kids to school and go to work. I'm numb thinking about what he has done last night, Christmas is ruined.

I have to face him tonight and don't want the kids to find out, he doesn't know I have his ring, I can't talk to anyone in rl

In (some) martial arts rings have to be removed before you fight. Fighting bare knuckle with rings on is a bad idea. Gold is soft. It can deform and get stuck on your hand..
Fighting bare knuckled is different from either wearing gloves ir sparring where you pull your punches.

Also any decent fighters hits with either/both hands. So whether he is right handed or not is irrelevant.

So it isn't entirely implausible.

There's only one reason a man removes his wedding ring on a night out, and that is to make himself available to other women.

The fight excuse is imo absolute total bollocks and Op's H is insulting her intelligence by coming out with this shit.

The simplest answer is usually the right one. Taking off a wedding ring when out for a night is showing you have intent to do things outside of your marriage in a serious way.

Anything else going on in your relationship. Could he be having an affair already and she doesn't know he is married. Hence the staying out so late

I don't think I'd want to be with a man who indulged in bare knuckle fighting any more than one who cheats tbh

My thoughts exactly Newbrummie.

True new true.

How you doing OP? I've had another read through and agree with the others, I don't think he pulled anyone but I do think the intention was there, maybe there was a fight and he just elaborated as why he'd have been giving chase anyway is beyond me, so maybe he intentionally wanted to make himself appear available withiut the ring, was this just a moment of madness? He sounds like he was completely hammered. Maybe you could just put that out there "look, I know you didn't end up in bed with anyone (did you) because IMO you were too drunk, I don't believe you took your ring off to fight as you don't when training/martial, I need you to be honest with me about why you took it off and who's company you were in until 5am" - I think those are the key things you need answering, you can then see how you feel afterwards. You can't know how you'll handle any of the answers, It's so shitty that things like this need to be played by ear, you can only feel how you'll feel when you have the truth, or lack of which then makes you feel something else. I'm so sorry you're going through this OP, hugs to you

newbrummie alljay newlegs
I don't think this is about you and your preferences in men....just saying

I don't think the OP actually knows if he was drunk or not. He may have slept on the kitchen sofa as he couldn't face being in the same bed after what he may have done.
If he has slept with another woman he is not going to tell you. He will pretend to be hungover so to avoid having to talk and confront OP. Very good cover to give him time to sort things out. We has an unaccounted five hours. His boss may have even already gone home just like the friend.

But then again I could be totally wrong and he was drunk. Think I read the op incorrectly.

It's possible that he was just foolishly showing off to the shagtastic boss, who encouraged him to take off his ring and chat up women.

Hope you're ok, OP.

My gut is telling me he didn't do anything with someone else but he most definitely took his wedding band off when he left the works party to head into town.

There may or may not have been a fight in the street - but it would not have prompted him to remove is ring. He was still pissed at 7.30am, there is no way he would have thought to remove his ring as he never does, is right handed and even when he was training doing martial arts and MMA his ring stayed on.

I have had to check his location on his iPhone today and it shows him in the vicinity of the club until 4am. I hate what this situation has made me do. I have never sneaked around or checked up on him before :(

My husband is denying he removed his ring to appear single in the town, but I know he is lying to me. I don't believe he was playing wing man either, he can think for himself and did - wanting to present himself as single in public, I believe he removed his ring then when he was still "with it" and not consumed with alcohol

I'm just trying to process his deceitful actions and on top of that the fact he is lying to my face. For the first time ever in my marriage I feel there is a complete break down in trust. I can't make sense of it in my head.

Surely at his age he wouldn't need to show off the a boss.

Is he still insisting he took ring off to fight? Have u said that he doesn't do that normally for training etc? X

Yes sticking with that lame story and got cross with me when I directly said it was a lie.

Ended up leaving the room twice when I approached him today because he doesn't want to hear it.

It's really difficult as the kids are around all weekend and they want to be festive and I'm having to put on a front for them. I'm so angry inside. I am not sure how I can process this and move forward at the minute.

I actually feel like I have lost something this weekend. That action of taking his ring off when he was out without me has had such a profound effect on me

Oh, One. This is horrid for you! He's really not helping by stonewalling. It's bloody childish, actually. I'm furious with him, and I don't even know you!

I guess I'm hoping a good night's sleep and plenty of food will bring him back to earth. If he manages to get it together to come clean, have the hard talk and make amends - that will be a good start. Playing "how very dare you" just makes him look like a dickhead.

It must be hard with the DC around. Could you try to take a few hours tomorrow to discuss further?

His anger rather than his want to reassure you would lead you to believe that there is more to it.

I hope you get some clarity soon.

The fight thing just sounds laughable. Is he the type to fight in the street?

Taking a ring off seems pointless too- a man of that age would be assumed to have family or a past relationship history- not all men or women wear a wedding ring. I didn't. And in club or bar, I doubt drunk people will think " ooh a wedding ring, better steer clear" because hey- that always happens (!) no one is thinking straight.

It would concern me more he took it off for someone he knew- that removing it meant something.

I feel for you op- and whilst all this is going on, where's his phone? Glued to him or left lying about? I do apologise and I like to think the best of people, however that is the fastest way to get fucked over,in my experience.

Sorry to hear he isn't being straight with you OP. I've had this in the past, they tell a blatant lie then get mad and stroppy when you question it.
Leaving the room is pathetic and the sign of guilt, if he really had been in a fight he would have told you all about it and wouldn't have been angry at all.

I'm sorry to hear you are having to put a brave face on for your DC's, I can only imagine that is draining. I hope he soon comes clean and stops being difficult. What a shit time of year for this to happen OP, I wish you all the best x

Oh love, so sorry you're going through this.

I think it's quite possible nothing happened, but as you said the intent was there even if it was to just appear single to chat to the ladies.

I think you're dealing with this really well. No advice really but hang on in there.

I think the chances of him coming clean are fairly slim. Agree this is guilty defensive behaviour, attack as a form of defence in the hope that you'll back off and let it go. If you persist, you may get some other story once he's had a chance to think up something more plausible.

It seems to me irrelevant that he's right-handed, in a fight you punch using both hands. I think there is also a difference between doing martial arts in a controlled environment in accordance with prescribed rules, and a bare-knuckle fight in the street, so it is at least possible that he took the ring off to protect it.

I know others on here are all giving fair excuses why people don't wear a wedding ring on a day to day basis.. Forgot after shower, hurts hand through job etc. I myself have taken mine off to go the gym fake tan etc but always in my hous and put it in a safe place.
I think someone who went out wearing it comes home with it in their pocket doesn't really fall under those circumstances.. It's only my opinion but if it was my husband I'd be seriously doubting him xxx

I don't think I could put up with someone who was an arse enough to brawl in the street.

I don't think I could put up with someone who wanted to feel single for the night.

I do know I couldn't put up with someone who lied to me.

I would be wanting reassurance and you aren't getting that OP. I really hope that he just admits that he has acted like a clot and you can move on.