Step inside it's the Dating Thread 93

[SweetPotato1]

Looks like this needed to be kicked off again..

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread

Morning all!!

How was everyone's Crimbo? Mine was uber chilled with the right quantity of chocs, food, games and cheesy Christmas movies!

MrTree also texted me which is sweet! Am quite looking forward to seeing him (climbing him) in the New Year!

waving booooo Mr Soho. You didn't hear anything? Sorry Hun but he's rubbish and you deserve way more than that! The weed smoking? I would walk away as soon as I found that out. I'm quite a simple soul and drug taking is a huge no for me. Don't feel deflated! Not one bit. Christmas is nearly over and Mark my words there will be a deluge of activity on OLD because Dec was spent drinking and partying with friends. In Jan people will now have some spare time. So brush yourself off pretty lady, upwards and onwards!

Waving I am no dating expert (massive understatement) but I think that I apply the rule if this isn't making me feel better or making my life better then why do it? I don't think one happy Xmas text is too much to expect - but I am a simple soul and if I was seeing someone, however casually, I can't imagine not wanting to just say merry Xmas.

Not wanting to rub it in but my date from Tues has been v nice. Been texting a lot and arranged to go for a meal and movie tomrw.
I was over thinking thinking it after my date (quelle surprise!) and dithering wether to text or not and then he sent one when he got home from our date saying he wanted to meet again - how nice.

Anyway hope everyone had good Xmas.

waving you have every right to feel miffed at Mr Soho- he sounds like an arse! No one is too busy to send a 'Happy Crimbo' msg.

Re the weed habit... My advice, is leave him to it. My ex was a heavy smoker (although he initially said he could take it or leave it) and he was as fickle as hell. The number 1 priority to him was the weed.

Onwards and upwards gal! You deserve more, so don't go beating yourself up. .

Waving, he might have thought it would appear too keen to text you on Christmas Day especially as you've not been seeing each other very long.

I wouldn't draw any conclusions yet, just wait and see how he is next time he makes contact.

Mr Soho is a prick not to text, even Northerner messaged me, and he is now seeing someone else. Not worth your time or attentions.

Where is the Christmas OLD rush everyone speaks of? :(

Start, that is brilliant. What a lovely way to be going into 2016!

waving it is not unreasonable to expect a text saying Happy Christmas, not much to ask really, in the great scheme of things is it? Takes all of 10 seconds. That would piss me off massively tbh.

waving, hope all is ok. Listen just give yourself some TLC. Christmas it appears is that time of year when lots of emotions bubble up. That's why I stayed sober and kept mine uber low key.

I think start is spot on. Some of us may say give Mr soho more time. Others with say it's not ok. All it boils down to is how his not messaging you makes you feel. If it doesn't make you feel so good, then that isn't great, especially so early on. Normal is being with someone who makes you smile and makes you feel good about yourself. End of. That's my version of normal any how's. Anyone who doesn't do any of those is exit left for me.

Hugs Hun.

How would you react to the news that someone you were dating had been unfaithful pretty much in every serious relationship, multi dated when single and justified cheating as indicating you arent with the right the person on their OLD profile?

Decided I'm going to make a real effort this year and find that special someone. Or at least try to anyway. He doesn't appear to want to come to me so I'm going to have to go and find him via OLD I think.

Can anyone tell me if Match and Match Affinity are the same thing? And any recommendations for sites a 47 year old looking for a ltr?

SoThatHappened - are you in that relationship now, and learning about the past because he thinks you're 'different', or has he cheated on you and you have just found out?

I knew he had cheated on his first GF but excused it as youth.

I think he was back with another ex when he was seeing me. Just found out. But he told me he wasnt.

Hi all am finding you all after a rubbish date experience - got caught in a bullshit trap!
Am having a break from it all for a while but am going to lurk and pick up some tips and hopefully I can help out with your stuff xxx

I'm only getting messages from old men (nearly twenty years older) or idiots. Including a one liner "I drive a Jaguar." Well, well done, fella.

RedDrummer has been logged in today, but not responded to my message, so that's a no then! OtherDrummer seemed initially keen but has gone silent.

There isn't really anyone that stands out, and they are all blurring into a mess/mass of men now. Again, not sure OLD is for me!

Waving, I don't think you should analyse his behaviour too much at this stage. Go on the date tomorrow and have a nice time but don't give too much away if you know what I mean. It's always better to appear a little mysterious and hold something back in my opinion.

Having just got my decree nisi I have registered on POF. No photo and just a few lines about myself but I'm still getting loads of messages. Strange. Not many men on there I fancy but there's one or two I've got my eye on.

I spoke to this guy for too long before meeting up. He seemed really into me, we spoke for hours on the phone.
We had a date, the vibe was good & he continued to text. Then he tailed off a bit so I sent him a nice message to say that I didn't think he was that into me, it was nice to have met you blah blah - I got no reply so I gathered I was right.
My friend says that I was totally mental doing this and should have played some dumb texting game to keep his interest. I'm just a direct person! So I dumped him essentially or dumped myself - not sure.
It has been a real lesson in the sizeable bullshit guys use to reel you in then flip 180 and ignore.
I've been kicking myself over what I did - was I too demanding, too needy, too open, too weird.
Ultimately I think I called it right and he is pissed off I dumped him first before he could just ignore me into getting the message

Britmodgirl, I don't think that is needy or demanding, just not playing games. You're not going to meet someone equal to you by playing 'the game' I reckon. It's not for me, anyway. If I like someone, I will just tell them, I wouldn't string someone along either way.

I agree tanyadm. I think you need to be yourself from the off.
It kind of pisses me off because people aren't allowed to display any emotion in modern dating.
If you complain about someone's behaviour you are a 'bunny boiler' - the ultimate emotion silencer.
I tend to call it how it is - that's why I'm single 😂

Waving that sucks that he didn't bother to message you on Xmas day, a text doesn't exactly take much effort does it?

If you complain about someone's behaviour you are a 'bunny boiler' - the ultimate emotion silencer.
This is awful and I totally agree! I once refused to meet a guy as he said on his profile ' no bunny boilers'. It's such a horrid term, especially since most bloody stalkers are men not women!

Well I finally got a response from my ex

"I am sorry you feel like that. I did not realise we had arranged a drink. I thought we had said we would meet in the new year. I am keen if you are still?"

And on the same day...

"fancy a naughty night tonight xxxx"

Er, no!

This has really pissed me off as I NEVER mentioned new year and it's over a month since he messaged me asking if I'd like to try again. I agreed to meet him for a drink as I wanted to talk about why he'd dumped me by text, to try and understand it and to see what would be different this time. But I guess all he really wanted was an NSA shag.