Step inside it's the Dating Thread 93

[SweetPotato1]

Looks like this needed to be kicked off again..

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread

Get WMLB book out and get studying, lady!!

I need to leave this date asap - in the loo now and contemplating the window.

Oh Twiggy we definitely need a debrief as soon as you're able. Do you want to PM one of us your number and you'll suddenly have an urgent call?

I've run out of likes on Tinder.

What is the WLM??? Book?

Why men love bitches mygast

Waving Yep, he's got a few on his profile, different kinds.

Gast, it's the Why Men Love Bitches book. The bible of several of our fellow daters here.

Tanya have you done a little Google on him? Facebook, LinkedIn, Google his phone number if you have it. Or am I the only one who does this

Not yet, I didn't want to swap numbers until the day before and don't yet know his full name, only swapped first names. Still messaging within OKC.

Very sensible tanya. Did you catch what happened with one of mine today? Googled his phone number and lead me to a dodgy forum where strangers exchange phone numbers purely for sexting and dirty snap chats. BLOCK!

Was that the one where he'd given his number to a 26 year old?

Yep!

I'd never have imagined it, not a hint of innuendo or smutty talk, wholesome lovely chats the whole way for 3 days, it was weird.

So gross. You just never know! I've only ever met partners through my social circles, so this is all SUCH a new experience for me! I was with my ex-H for over 10 years, and the dating world has gone bonkers.

I know, I was with my XH for 10 years too, however I did find love on tinder nearly 2 years ago, we split up a few months back (perfectly legitimate reasons). Before I met xp I got my hand burnt a few times, and been on some dates so I kind of know the ropes, but it's still very daunting.

Thanks Prizey and Waving, I know you're right. If I'm going to dip my toe in I need to toughen up. Just couldn't believe my luck, first time back out there and great conversation, lovely evening, nice texts, good looking, good job etc. My idea of 'going well' I have to learn may be different to others, to include me thinking I was enjoying passionate kissing could actually to be fair, quite possibly, given how long it's been, be interpreted by him as me trying to eat his face off and coming over like an excitable puppy! Hey ho. I'd still bloody love to know his reason for backing off but I definitely won't ask.

Mobile phones weren't around when i was last single. Even texting is a minefield!

Twiggy hope you're home and relaxing now and that its all over.

Tanya sounds promising....

Gutted that the book that's been mentioned isn't available on kindle :(

Just got home. That was a nightmare. I really don't want to cause offence, but this guy had learning difficulties and hearing difficulties and it was so uncomfortable. It was like talking to a child. Yet he'd been really pro active with his messaging, we flirted a lot - and I mean a lot - and I feel so dirty, like I've been leading on a young boy.

He was so eager to please, but had no idea of how to talk like an adult.

Honestly, I feel sick, like I've led him on.

Not caught up on your news yet, will make a cup of tea and see what you've all been up to.

Oh Twiggy

Poor you, poor him, what's there to say, just get back in the saddle and try not to dwell?

Just had another charming message from a complete stranger:
If you had to give yourself a score out of 10 for a blow job what would you give yourself and why

Evening all!

So sorry to hear recent dates went south for some of us - it is always a pain but hey you have to play to win. Where do we bulk buy those rhino skins??

I am slowly trying to knit myself one with the now famous WMLB book. BTW I do not particularly agree with the dumb fox theory in that it seems to make women look like doormats to the world. Ok granted what it looks like outside does not matter more than getting respect at home but somehow in the 21st century it seems to be madness that the mere concept of "equal partnership" would make a dude run!?! No one has to wear The Pants in my ideal house.

Tanya, Bee does sound like he is a good first date material! However tempting it might be to project yourself, think of it as just that, perhaps it will take a bit of the pressure off? ..otherwise ..

Tulip definitely do not ask, from what I am reading he might not even have the answer. FYI Apparently our #1 sin is to come across as needy. And wow according to WMLB you can even do that without actually be needy (see Popcorn ongoing case study infra ) Conclusion, go practice your "I am a strong woman, you can take it or leave it" stance with new dates.

From my new-built Tower of Bitch Wisdom, I think I am starting to see where it went sideways with Popcorn. I might have seemed "needy" in the sense that I let my guard down and shared some pretty emotional stuff with him. What troubles me most is that he freakin encouraged me to do so!! I would never have had if he had not been rather insistent, as I did not need him to help me with it. All I thought I was doing was giving him some information as to what is/was going on in my life. And I barely scratched the surface of what was silently making me lose the plot at that time. Damn boy, you cannot have your cake and then run for the hills! Cherry on said cake is that when i told him i would be backing off for an indefinite period of time he said that "he really understood it" Does that theory stand waving?

I am actually not really sure I will get back in touch with him in 2 weeks time. ESPECIALLY if MrIkea does well on date#2.

Oh twiggy, that's awful.........

Blimey you lot have had too many perverts. Change your screen name to something uptight like "take your paw off my knee". :-p

No loo update as we were at the cinema, but the date started off quietly. We drove to the soulless multi screen cinema, he was asking for directions and I was unable to give them so I felt a bit thick. We saw a film that was not very good but we both said it was ok. Then we left the cinema and he drove me home. I was glad when he came in to my house! The babysitter was there obviously and my eldest disappeared upstairs when she heard a man's voice. So we had tea and toast and chatted, and kissed, but he was restrained..... I could have got in to it more! Right, so we've got through a date alcohol free and we're going out saturday, for a "couple of drinks". He works really hard though. Literally twice as many hours (contractually) and he works extra ones too. Only joking. I know this is normal. He was talking about checking a few things on his lap top before he went to sleep but not working the hour before bed that he'd planned too. He'll get up early and do it apparently. I just don't meet men who work this hard. Apart from date two and I stuffed that up by not really believing that he was as busy with work as he seemed to me. Anyway, I like this one! He is straightforward and funny and good humoured but obviously clever, not in a let me prove to you how clever I am kind of way. I realise I don't know him that well. 3 dates calm down

Jolly that was the aspect of the book that I thought was nonsense too.

Broken the deep things rule already, even before a date. But then he started it! Where is the rule book to help when the man is atypical?

As a staunch but evidently soppy feminist, I grrrrrrrr at the very idea of the dumb fox theory.

Morning

tulip welcome! We all have grow done skins. Who knows why another date isn't in the offering? I'd just let go and move on. The book is by Sherry Argov and it is on kindle. I have it on mine.

The only (slight) health warning I would give having been through my recent experience is that I had parts of the bitch act nailed. Breezy, busy (that parts true) with a fulfilling life ( also true). But I basically came across as someone who has her shit together and is not overly involved in him. He was taken aback when I told him that he was the only man I had seen consistently for this long. He honestly thought that I'm so in demand and have a packed life that he was appearing on the periphery. (He also thought I was dating hordes of men). So I will continue with the bitch stuff (because I think parts of it are great), but I will also be honest with myself and to some degree them if I think I'm getting a little more involved emotionally.

twiggy you've not lead anyone on. He wasn't entirely honest with you was he?

gast start reporting some of these! They're awful

mississippi sounds promising! The work thing? Can be quite standard. I work for a US company and hours can be erratic for some of the teams who report into US heads.

Hi to waving tanya prizey jolly handy. Hope I didn't miss anyone! TGIF!!!!!