Step inside it's the Dating Thread 93

[SweetPotato1]

Looks like this needed to be kicked off again..

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread

Thanks Sassy, I've been slowing down on my responses back, and he still keeps texting. Can't work out if he's genuinely interested or just after some sexy chat, which I keep telling him off about.
Good luck tanya & waving can't wait to hear all!
sassy is that Vbee thing on Bumble? Haven't see that before.

Oh ffs he keeps texting me now!! Asking me how my day is, good morning, good night.....too much!! Wish I'd not moved him to WhatsApp! (but he does seem nice)
I can't remember who said (so hard to keep up!) they had a collection of online dating books, which would you recommend?

Hi! Sorry for barging in and straight away asking a question, but don't want a stand alone thread, so please may I ask it here?

I split up with ex less than a month ago just before Christmas, got drunk, cried a lot and in a fit of bravado joined OK cupid. Quickly deleted but before I did started talking to a man who seemed fine/nice and swapped numbers.

He wants to go on a date soon. I'm fat (put on 3 stone), not over ex and have painfully low self confidence. Would you go? Part of me thinks it's an hour for coffee local to me so what's the harm? The other part thinks this may break my head! I'm not in a position where I'd want to date me, iyswim, but would be in six months (hopefully!). Is it too soon? Bad idea?

Ach, very sweet but no attraction. Would like to stay friends but no more. Hopefully he feels the same way.

No, definitely not. He's sweet but too unconfident and awkward, and I wasn't physically attracted. Unfortunately he has already messaged me, and I get the sense it isn't mutual.

Oh that's a shame Tanya must feel a bit of a shame. No chance of a grower?

Not even a little bit. It is a shame, but we are too mismatched.

But it's made me consider better what I want in a bloke, so no bad thing, and we did have a nice chat.

Just to do the letting down gently thing now. Argh.

The only ones I have seen that gave me pause for thought were RedDrummer, who is on Match, which I have unregistered from, and GSM but never logs in, and someone on OKC who bears more than a passing resemblance to Tim Minchin ❤️

Argh, well at least you had a nice afternoon Tanya

Update: I have carefully checked out MrBubbly's profile and turns out he is only 5'6 (I cannot really blame him as I am 5'2 but like taller guys) and, sex wise, well he seems to be into S&M stuff....eeeek. Do I ignore his message or do I give it go and tell him he can store away the handcuffs & co ?

TS seems really to like me. I am going to feel like such a cow. :(

I'm the same Tanya A from Saturday night seems really keen, but not me. I'm going to have to tell him soon.

tanya what a shame, but hey ho it still sounds like a lovely date.

prizey yes it's in the bumble app. I just saw it one day when I logged in. I also have read why men love bitches and thought it was really good/ humorous. Parts I have disregarded but there are little nuggets I have picked up on.

lamp welcome to the thread. I'd say going on a date depends a lot on how you feel. If you're just up for having a coffee and meeting someone what's the harm? But if you don't hear from them after the coffee (always a valid risk after an OLD) will you feel terrible? If so, then I'd avoid until you feel more confident.

jolly do you fancy him? Height and s&m aside.

For all of you who are worried about letting dates down just do it. You know how we feel when people mess us around/ don't tell us as it is?
Well I for one get really annoyed. I'd much rather know that my date didn't have that spark/ fancy me sooner rather than later so quite frankly I can concentrate elsewhere. Just be nice I think and do it.

Right, am off to message my bumble matches. Let's see what falls out the tree when I give it a good old shake

Sorry to hear that tanyadm

Good luck for later waving

Hello - can I join you please

Met six men in three months on OkC/POF, some went to two dates but no spark there. Or not for me anyway.

Having had the usual surge of 'witty' messages which led to boring conversations and a couple of boring dates with people I didn't much fancy, I decided to be proactive and message eight people I liked the look of. Six replied, and have four dates lined up for Wed/Thu/Fri/Sun - arghh!

Mr Boat - only a couple of messages each day, swapped texts and he suggested meeting on Wed. Sunglasses on in most photos - plus a bike, but sunglasses or not, he looks hot! Just think he must have a lot of attention though, because his messages are so minimal and he is absolutely gorgeous. Really hope Wed happens, though trying not to get my hopes up.

Mr Cash is 15 years younger and I am right at the top of his age range. Very flirty messages which make me smile, think he probably isn't really interested long term though.

Mr Blond - messaged for four hours last night, and think he's lovely. Right on my wavelength, but having read about tanyadm and her date with TS bit worried this will go the same way. Anyway, he's Friday.

Finally Mr Pole - 8 years older and fairly regular messages, but he's online ALL the time, which puts me off a little double standards, I know.

Love reading all your updates, learned a lot and I've screen shotted the rules because I think I will probably break at least half over the next few days or so x

Help me everyone! How do I block on WhatsApp? He's texting me every 2 hours!!! Now he's sending me random selfies (face only, thank goodness)...it's unnerving. I say an innocent thing like 'hi got to go, I'm going out now for a swim' and he says 'wish I could be there swimming with you.....do you wear a bikini or swimsuit ;)' aaaaaggggh. Should have listened to gut when he wanted to move from the site to WhatsApp. Shall I just block or

Thanks sassy and waving going to download to my kindle tonight.

I know, you're right, Sassy, just have to pull the plaster off. Hate hurting people's feelings, but he is too nice a person to not treat with honesty and respect.

Wow Twiggy, that is a bloody impressive hit rate!

Oh Prizey !!!

Click on his name top centre of screen. Brings up contact details. Scroll to the bottom and select 'block this caller'.

Eek!!!

twiggy that's impressive! I would find four in one week stressful - go girl and don't forget to report back. You need your own spreadsheet!!!!!

I know, got a bit carried away arranging it all. Desperately trying to remember who does what!

prizey I can't be doing with WhatsApp, find it much too stressful and very anxious-making.

Now overthinking what I should wear - thinking I need a new first date outfit.

Am trying not to get overinvested, but it's hard. Why don't witty and intetesting texters convert well in RL??

waving on bumble the women have 24 hours to message before the matches disappear. The men cannot message the women until we have opened the convo. It's the USP of Bumble which is why that's the only app I'm on.

Welcome to the thread twiggy. You will need a spreadsheet to keep track of what you wore/ spoke about / basic things they told you. Believe you me you'll get to Sunday and will have totally forgotten. Don't overthink what to wear, just go with what feels right on the day.

Thanks Handy, all done, blocked from every avenue - I hope! Lesson learnt, early move on to WhatsApp means they don't want to be reported and/or want to send photos, that face shot was just the beginning, I bet. Bullet dodged.
tanya that is a shame, onwards and upwards, have you sent the awkward text yet?
Jolly Oh no on the height thing, that together with the S&M would put me off too, have you decided what to do?
Hi Lamp welcome!
Twiggy how do you do it? Keeping up with conversations, have you ever got them mixed up? You are on fire! You have got to find someone decent soon. Agree with Handy about you needing your own spreadsheet! First date outfit, have you whittled it down to a selection?
sassy I'm going to look at Bumble, used it for a while now but never knew about that bit.

sassy is it correct that to unlock vibee you have to post on Facebook/twitter/instagram to tell all and sundry you use Bumble?

Right, about to log on to POF for the first time since 23rd December. Moment of truth.