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Step inside it's the Dating Thread 93

999 replies

SweetPotato1 · 17/12/2015 01:12

Looks like this needed to be kicked off again..

The Rules

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin
  3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens
  5. Trust your gut instinct
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  8. If it's not fun- stop
  9. Loo update is mandatory
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
Trills · 03/01/2016 20:32

If you reply and don't say something that mean "I don't want to see you again" then he'll be hoping for longer and be more sad when it doesn't happen. If you definitely don't want to see him again just say it.

N0More314 · 03/01/2016 20:41

how about ''it was really nice to have met you, my heart wouldn't be in another meet up, but I enjoyed your company last night and I wish you good luck"

JollyXmasJumper · 03/01/2016 20:55

Waving I would message MrLawyer then. At least he was upfront and honest about not having free time nor desire for a relationship at the time. Good point I think. I am currently trying to draft an answer to mine. Soooo many questions!

WavingNotDrowning · 03/01/2016 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 03/01/2016 21:35

FFS, someone on OKCupid has messaged me 5 times in the last hour, do I want to chat, again do I want to chat, sorry he wasn't sure if the first message went through, then is he not my type, then just Gast? (Obviously using my real name)
I'm starting to feel harassed!

Trills · 03/01/2016 21:42

Don't know about on the app but on the web you can click the three dots at the top of the message and say "block them".

I think you have to be ready to be harsher with OK Cupid because you can be messaged by anyone, including people who are explicitly outside of what you're looking for.

I had a guy message me, then immediately message me saying "I can see you're looking at my profile", then two minutes later say "why aren't you replying, what in my profile didn't you like?".

The annoying thing was that if he hadn't been so harrass-y I might have replied...

JollyXmasJumper · 03/01/2016 21:49

Trills and Gast - some people just get weird very quickly! I had a couple of them leaning towards harassment within a day or so of liking them or them sending the first message.. That is why I usually leave a couple days before that first message and my reply

Trills · 03/01/2016 21:50

Is your middle name Jacobs?

Cos your a cracker!

(did not reply, not because of the pun but because of the misuse of "your")

tanyadm · 03/01/2016 21:54

I had a polite and lovely message from a mutual like on OKC. My first sensible message on there at all. It really is peak day, isn't it?!

PrizeyPrize · 03/01/2016 22:10

So what are our thoughts on men who seem nice, but keep throwing in sexy & rather forward questions 😕.
Other than that, really good job, nice looking, polite, a bit soppy and romantic.....he seems keen....I'm not however getting a good vibe from my gut tbh. Could I be wrong?

JollyXmasJumper · 03/01/2016 22:13

Trills - wtf is this message?!

Agree Tanya - lots of people signing up in the new year. Yay!

Confusedfedup · 03/01/2016 23:42

Hi all, I've been noseying on this thread the last couple of days. I was on POF for 3 weeks back in August, met 3 and dated 1 for 5 months. Will be taking a hiatus for a few weeks before I got back on.

But I have a related question I hope you can help me with. When you decide to sleep with the men what do you ask re STD? And do you ask for proof of test?

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit · 04/01/2016 00:11

Thanks for the advice, I'll point my friend in the direction ok OK cupid. I don't think she'd go anywhere near Tinder, she lectures at a uni, probably too many of her students on it!

N0More314 thanks for the link, i"ll have a look.

Waving cunning! I'll suggest she does that, thanks.

WavingNotDrowning · 04/01/2016 07:20

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WavingNotDrowning · 04/01/2016 07:22

This reply has been deleted

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tanyadm · 04/01/2016 07:47

Thanks Waving, and good luck with Soho!

tanyadm · 04/01/2016 08:03

Argh, I am ridiculously nervous.

N0More314 · 04/01/2016 08:16

Good luck!!!
:-)

TooSassy · 04/01/2016 08:25

Morning fellow daters!

Back to normality for me (although not for many others, trains into London empty).
Dating season has reopened for me. I'm finding bumble quite interesting. There are a lot of artists/ musicians on there. I tend to swipe left a lot (the person gets an auto swipe left if they've left their bio totally blank). Ive had some matches but only messaged with MrPilot so far. Switched to ViBee mode today so let's see what that does.

To the poster further down the thread who has another MrTree, fill yer boots my love. Doubtful it's the same guy but if it is, I genuinely don't mind. I mean it when I say I'm not looking for exclusivity with him or anyone right now. To be fair we've only been for drinks and kissed. He's texting asking to see me this week so will probs catch up.

tanya good luck today! Update post date please!

waving so do you have some idea of what you're planning to say to soho or are you playing by ear? Have fun Hun but also look after yourself.

prizey for me, the sexy would depend on whether I thought it was funny/ tongue in cheek and light hearted vs a little too much/ Pervy.
I always trust gut over and above anything else though.

confused I'd be telling them to use a condom and wouldn't even think about not using one until the exclusive conversation had been had and then some time of exclusivity had lapsed. Non negotiable on my part. Too many guys are more than happy to not wear one when the woman is on the pill which is fine if you're in a committed serious relationship. But so not ok if you're sleeping around. I'm also not on any form of contraception and wouldn't think about it until I am in a serious relationship.

Anymore dates this week??? Grin

WavingNotDrowning · 04/01/2016 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TooSassy · 04/01/2016 10:32

waving it's a button that appeared on the top of the app and I pressed it. I'm not sure of the exact science around it but some sort of advanced matching algorithm comes into play. I just went into the app (multi tasking whilst on conference calls!) and there are so many online in that mode!!!! Had a couple more matches this morning. Check the app and see if you can see it at the top.

WavingNotDrowning · 04/01/2016 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JollyXmasJumper · 04/01/2016 11:55

Tanya & Waving best of luck to you two! Remember bourbon helps Wink

HandyWoman · 04/01/2016 12:07

Good luck tanyadm and Waving

Smile
tanyadm · 04/01/2016 12:25

There is so going to have to be wine this afternoon. If we make it through coffee. Shaky!

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