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Original poster

Step inside it's the Dating Thread 93

999 replies

SweetPotato1 · 17/12/2015 01:12

Looks like this needed to be kicked off again..

The Rules

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin
  3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens
  5. Trust your gut instinct
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
  8. If it's not fun- stop
  9. Loo update is mandatory
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
TriIls · 02/01/2016 21:28

Don;t worry about it - I don't always read EVERYTHING, just skim through and comment on anything that particularly catches my attention.

Are you telling us about your reasons for stopping seeing people because you want to know if they sound reasonable? Are you worried that a part of you is not ready for a relationship and is "making up" reasons not to go further?

tanyadm · 02/01/2016 21:32

Best just to read the recent ones, as things change pretty quickly in these parts!

Lacoba66 · 02/01/2016 21:48

Waving I had a few flags waved at me, so directly asked. He is a nice guy, but someone who deals in that area, I don't need nor want it in my private life!

Involuntary I wouldn't worry either. I've followed the whole thread and have lost track with who's dating whom Confused.

Mr Welsh has made contact. It's now 7 days of good/ fun contact, but no hint of "let's meet". I will give him 48hrs grace and then cut the tie. Partly, coz I do feel a little 'drawn in', but aware that it's not real till you meet.

N0More314 · 02/01/2016 21:49

Yes, things do change quickly around here. Just had a message from H to meet Thursday. That sounds good. I want to. But I'm kind of doubtful at the same time. Wary of feeling anxious. But I'll keep going!

tanyadm · 02/01/2016 21:50

But you had a nice time last night?

WavingNotDrowning · 02/01/2016 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lacoba66 · 02/01/2016 22:07

Yes, I'm echoing 314 I thought you had enjoyed? I suppose if in doubt, slow it down, but another date won't hurt Wink.

Waving I agree, I can't keep up with my own, let alone everyone else's!

InvoluntaryCelibacy · 02/01/2016 22:14

thanks for your welcome and yes that is exactly right trills I think I'm making excuses because it's been so long since I've met someone new that I feel so out of my comfort zone. I have a date arranged for Thursday but I already know this guy. I don't know why I find it so scary though? I really want to meet someone but then when it actually starts happening I want to run away

N0More314 · 02/01/2016 22:14

I did tanyadm, I had a lovely time. And now I'm thinking that he's such a nice man and tall, attractive, good job. I think I kind of feel a bit inadequate. Like........ a man like that has never been interested in me. So I have half relationships with people like Bear, who is attractive and interesting but he's commitment phobic and works fewer hours than I do. He also smokes like a trooper but I overlook that. Maybe I should really dialogue with myself, try and 'get' a man like H. I don't take any shit now but I'm obviously still struggling with a good, decent man liking me. Wanting me. Although, I should cool my jets. For all I know, H could have a history of going on three dates and acting really keen as mustard every time and then losing interest. I don't know. It's like H has gone up in my estimation and I'm not sure I'm worthy. Although I can't put my finger on what I mean by that.

PrizeyPrize · 02/01/2016 22:16

hi everyone! happy new year!!
Look at you all with all your dates.
flabber got to say he sounds like an arse, you are well shot of him.
What do you make of guys who seem keen (always sending the first text to ask how your evening/day has been, etc) but write really short texts back, are they boring, shy, weird? I'm getting this from a MrVague.
Also chatting with totally opposite MrOz who is lovely, and incredibly chatty, but lives 200 miles away (that is what happens when you play Tinder when visiting family over ChristmasHmm)

N0More314 · 02/01/2016 22:25

Ok,,, what would that book ''getting naked again'' say?

I feel like there is something a whole lot more terrifying about nearly having a relationship with the sort of person you admire and like.

I am attracted to Bear obviously and I enjoy his company but just in my own head, I think H is a better type of person. Confused And it cuts less deep to be rejected or semi-rejected by a person who is nothing like the type of person I want deeeeeeeep down. Like, part of Bear's rejection of me feels personal but knowing he's commitment phobic it doesn't feel like I'm allowing Bear to define my value by semi rejecting me. But if H (who wants the same things I want and has the same values etc) if H rejected me, wow, that would hurt. And I think I only see this as I'm typing it. And I don't mean H himself, I just mean men that I perceive to be normal clever men with their lives sorted out.

I need to not panic. Stay calm. De-escalate. I have plenty of goals this year anyway, not all of them men-related!

TriIls · 02/01/2016 22:30

Lacoba so if after 9 days he's not suggested meeting up, you'll stop talking to him? Even though you haven't suggested meeting up either?

Clearly I'm rubbish at the whole "hard to get" thing because if I had some spare time coming up and wanted to meet someone I would ask them if they were free.

N0More314 · 02/01/2016 22:31

I chatted to a guy on viber for weeks and we seemed to click. His profile was very detailed. he didn't want to meet up though. Perhaps he didn't want a woman with children (he'd none),

HandyWoman · 02/01/2016 22:35

Just had my very first taste of OLD anger. Shared a couple of messages about music. He sent a link to his, I replied politely and was complimentary. Then he asked 'would you like to meet and make music' by which time I had seen his 2nd photo which frankly horrific. I said I didn't want to meet thanks. All this in literally 4 messages. Am now subject to ranting about being 'led on' Shock

Nasty.

TriIls · 02/01/2016 22:35

I think I'd rather say "do you want to meet up?" and be told "no" than stop talking to someone who might have been just about to suggest something but then didn't because I'd cooled off.

But hey, I'm not actually going on any dates, so maybe my techniques are not the best!

TriIls · 02/01/2016 22:37

Handy that sucks - at least you know you were 100% right to reject him.

N0More314 · 02/01/2016 22:39

Omg, how can you lead on a man you haven't met. I had one guy get nasty on me too. He tried to deliver a character assassination of me to me, based on exchanging messages over the course of a few days. When I backed away (because it was becoming clear he needed a raft) he said that my other date clearly hadn't worked out because I was 'back on here' and that he didn't pass my tests, and that I was only going for the best looking men. HOW he thought he could tell how good looking other men I was messaging were, I do not know. What. A. Fruitcake. His wife left him for ''no reason'' he'd said. She just left him, and nobody understood why. Everybody was very worried about his wife for throwing away her marriage. hmmm.

TriIls · 02/01/2016 22:42

Hmm, yes, no reason at ALL.

HandyWoman · 02/01/2016 22:45

Such a mystery that one eh, N0More314

It's a jungle out there ladies.

Half way thru 'Getting Naked' - it's hilarious and spot on about every facet of life after divorce. The take home message is GET OUT THERE!!!! am trying, an trying

Justaboy · 02/01/2016 22:51

N0More314 Yes well odd that you should say that. I'm not OLD' ing as yet just need to sort out a few other things in my existence and then see about that if i can find the time! However it doesn't stop you from looking in said supermarket like the other night went there with DD2 to get some odds and sods quite late and there was a lady in there training a guide dog puppy that was attracting a LOT of attention. Now us brits aren't the most talkative and what an excellent way to meet the right woman shoudl she have been there at that moment but err No, all men;-(

Still had a few parties to attend over the festive season all too young at 20 to 40 odd all spoken for anyway, and no singles above that age, where are all the single older 50 odd something's?.

WavingNotDrowning that swiped to the right or left makes me cringe when i hear that, not your or anyone's fault at all all just reminds me of those awful events in Poland where a left or right was life or well..not:-(

N0More314 · 02/01/2016 22:57

There are loads of over 50s on POF. Not sure about over 60s but you should have a look.

Destinysdaughter · 02/01/2016 22:59

I so can't keep up with this thread! Good luck to everyone going on exciting new dates. Is it time we asked MN for our own Dating Topic on here...?

Justaboy · 02/01/2016 22:59

I seem to have heard that POF was a POS but maybe that was for the quality of the men on there Y/N?.

Justaboy · 02/01/2016 23:00

Destinysdaughter what's wrong with this one has a dynamic of its own:-)