Step inside it's the Dating Thread 93

[SweetPotato1]

Looks like this needed to be kicked off again..

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory

10. No dating the thread

Oh yes, he's got the sentence structuring going on!

I've got three messages to catch up on, but we're mostly swapping youtube clips of comedians we both like...

I've recently joined OLD (as in, this past week!)...I'm not sure if it's going to be for me. I've received loads of "Hi" messages. One guy that began chatting with me seemed my type, but wasn't asking any questions about me, only answering what I asked him. He gave me his number in case I wanted to text him as he was going out of town (but I wasn't comfortable giving out mine yet), and then shortly thereafter his profile was deleted.

I haven't contacted anyone first except for two guys - sent a very short message to a nice looking physiotherapist, who did respond...but never bothered to reply again when I sent out something a little longer (although my message was only sent yesterday so maybe he will get back to me...but he's been online since then so I'm guessing he won't if he hasn't already).

And haven't heard anything from the other guy at all and he hasn't even viewed my profile (although it looks like he has been online since I messaged him), which I find weird as I do think he would have at least looked at my profile, even if he ultimately decided not to return the contact.

I also made the mistake of responding to a guy 6 years younger than me because he seemed interesting...and surprisingly got this really long and thoughtful (impressive) email back, which makes me feel like I'd want to correspond but I already know it's not a good idea as there are some fundamental incompatabilities there.

Oh...and let's not forget the guy who keeps writing "hey there," with nothing further to add even when prompted. He's now been blocked and deleted.

Maybe I'll get used to it, but so far I'm not really liking it!

Uhoh Waving, we are going to need more detail about content than that!

Ended up messaging with TS until past midnight. So intelligent and lovely. Think quite reserved in some ways, so not sure how to progress into physical date, but think there is enough of an intellectual connection to warrant it. Ended at 00:16 with me saying "definitely goodnight now, hope to speak soon" and him responding "I'd like that." So the signs are good.

Mom2K, sadly you will quickly get used to it. I am fairly new to OLD, and find that it is hard to find and make genuine connections, and only feel like I did for the first time yesterday.

Part of that is about my own fussiness, but I also got ignored by a couple of people I thought looked interesting. Even ones who had 'liked me'.

Don't take it personally, keep emotionally distant from the process. Those people who are online and apparently ignoring you have most likely met people / are actively dating already.

Good luck!

Welcome -mom

waving talk to us. What's soho been saying?

waving did you tell him he was doing your head in??? Did you buy a new perfume???

GSM is properly odd in my area, the numbers are so tiny, I don't actually know why I bothered re-registering. But I'm glad I did!

So what are you going to do about the re-appearers, Waving? Or are you going to focus on Mr Writer now?

Ghosters?

I've one guy, he didn't ghost me, but he did disappear. He was telling me how busy he was at work and I was in that mode of 'I mustn't take any bullshit, I mustn't take any bullshit' but in hindsight now I know he was telling me the truth as before we'd even met up once he told me that he had a job and was also trying to get his own venture off the ground. He probably thought 'do I really need a woman who isn't sympathetic to that?' and also 'I'm telling the truth and she doesn't believe me'.
So I blew that one. Not a great feeling. And he was really nice, funny, good company. But anyway, my rambling point is that I would go on a second date with him if he reappeared but I don't think he will. Oh well.

At about 11.55 hforarry texted a very civilised happy new year message and I replied and said see you tomorrow etc. And he said 'looking forward to it'. And I thought, ah that's so nice.

Then at about 2am I'd a message from Bear telling me very he could give me my new year kiss and I ended up responding and we got in to a bit of a 2am chat. Wouldn't say it was sexting but affectionately planning /remembering. Oh dear. I'm being stupid. THIS is the bullshit I shouldn't be taking.

There is a word yes, wankers. But we'll stick with ghosters....

"Not going to happen, sorry." How bloody rude.

Not heard from TS this morning, but he hasn't been online, and we were chatting pretty late. And he doesn't have kids to have to get up with.

He's not what I would have thought of as my type.... Science PhD, quiet, not a music obsessive like me, but seems genuinely interesting and charming, share other similar cultural interests....I don't know, I'm intrigued by him.

You not remembering him is the best response he could have wished for really. Did he want you to have noticed his 8 week absence!

Welcome mom definitely try and keep emotionally distant at the messaging stage - you'll only meet a tiny percentage of them. I really don't believe the 'online now' feature. I think it's a ploy by the site to get is hanging about on the site and nothing else.

I don't have any chats going on any more. Nada. Just one date arranged for next weekend with a reserved chap MrSuit who is probably way too straight for me. But I'm going anyway! After this week 'straight' and 'reserved' are suddenly attractive traits!

Cannot face trawling through the sites any more. OLD fatigue has set in for the time being.

Well done Waving for deleting Soho. Now block him!!!!

Tanya I would steer MrSyntax towards meeting. Just to be sure he'll put his money where his mouth is.

Happy hangovers all.

Yes Tanyadm, I don't think interests need to overlap. It's more like, personality characteristics that need to over lap. None of my bfs have ever shared my interests. (theirs being motorbikes or obscure bands I've never heard of, or the life and times of being an penniless artist :-p)

mom2k Welcome, That's so true what Handy says! If I include the ones I've messaged who've ignored me, and the ones who've messaged me who I've ignored as well as the ones where we've exchanged at least one exchange then it might be about 220 (I'm guessing). I've met 7. Not many really. It's quite hard to get the mutual interest and the momentum to meet UP! I wouldn't worry that you'll need a babysitter five nights a week from now on