Emergency help needed right now.

[Soggybananas]

My dc 16 has just told me that my dc 18 (who has a 25yo dp) last night asked them if they'd join in a 3some!!!!! It was a serious ask apparently. Dc 16 said 'no way' & is very disturbed. This happened while I was next door having a chat with a neighbour. WTAF?????? My head is screaming. Obvs words are needed. Help me.

I agree with AF

Let's face it, there's no gender combination that makes this ok.

I would be all about protecting my youngest vulnerable child. I have a 16 yo daughter and if found her 18 yo brother requested her presence in threesome, I am afraid I would be showing my 18 year old the door.

Are you new to MN, soggybananas?

Agreed no combination of the sexes makes this remotely OK

So why the song and dance to conceal it ?

Are we awaiting a 'big reveal' that shows up some mythical prejudices?

Liney I think you are correct

Yup

Looks like some convoluted, self defeating and highly misjudged way to prove a point

I'm just so glad that no one has shared any similar scenarios.

Did the Op say that both the DC were the same sex? If they're not then that would be a lot lot worse and perhaps a reason to keep all the genders a secret. Otherwise it just seems pointless.

Why are people so keen for OP to reveal the gender/s? It's clearly not something the OP is comfortable with for what ever reason, so why? I can't see what it would add other than to possibly colour some people's response.

People want to know because it might indicate who was penetrating who, and how 'real' the incest would be SealSong.

You can imagine two sisters just both having sex with a male dp, and not touching each other.

Or you can imagine any other gender combination which might involve more activity between siblings.

It does make a difference.

Fgs, the sexes of the children are irrelevant. If op doesn't want to say, then why should she? She doesn't have to say why she doesn't want us to know either.

She's asking for advice, and has got some, but will probably need more. Make this a safe place for her where she can come and get help and support when she needs it and maybe she'll feel able to tell us another day. That'll never happen if everyone keeps harping on about it.

Stop fixating on that one small thing. We're all agreed it's irrelevant so just leave it in the unwanted box.

Sowhite, are you saying girl on girl action isn't real?

Jux, to be fair, the law does make a distinction

Penetration with a penis or object is rape. The lack of such is reduced to sexual assault. As fucking irritating as that is.

Of course I'm not Jux. Don't be fucking ridiculous.

Didn't some posters up thread suggest the laws were different dependent on the sexes of those involved? Was that backed up with any links?

I think the laws on incest depend on which jurisdiction you're in. For England, it was reworked in the early 00s (I think) with the introduction of the concept of cohabitation as a basis, as well as actual blood tie. So someone's male DP could be guilty of on offence if there was sexual contact with their DC, even if there was no biological link, if the DC were under 18.

Sexual contact between people of the 'too closely related' categories are also committing an offence, regardless of their age. Though the version I've just looked at is all framed in terms of heterosexual possibilities. Would I be right in assuming the same applied homosexually too?

two sisters just both having sex with a male dp, and not touching each other

Good grief. If one of my sisters wanted me, under any configuration, to watch her having sex and to watch me having sex, I'd be thinking there was something horribly wrong. It wouldn't be a "just" in any way!

Oh yes Garlick, I didn't mean it wasn't wrong. But that scenario (which I believe is the one the dp in the op was hoping for), is infinitely better than a brother penetrating his sister etc.

That type of less-worse evaluation is why I think the OP hid the details.

From what the OP has said, the 25yo 'dp' has proposed that he has consensual sex 'in a threesome' with both of the OP's dc who, at 18 and 16, are over the age of consent and he has asked the 18yo, with whom he is having a relationshiip with the OP's apparent previous approval, to facilitate this by propositioning their 16yo sibling who, fortunately, has reported the conversation to the OP.

Under the circumstances making undue reference to, or placing reliance on, the law relating to incest/sexual abuse is the equivalent of a red herring which may be obscuring a much darker worse case scenario that I will address in a further post.

In the meantime, suffice it to say that there is no way that, as has been suggested upthread, the OP should contemplate confronting or otherwise discussing this matter with her dc in the presence of the 25yo instigator of the current situation who should not be let anywhere near her 16 yo and who should be discouraged from having anything futher to do with her 18yo although, of course, I appreciate this may be difficult to bring about given that this dc is an adult who can choose to keep company with whoever they wish.

You might thinking of something that crossed my mind straight away, goddess ... Rochdale?

I actually mentioned the gender thing because I thought people were using their assumption that the two DCs were girls and the DP was a man to largely exonerate the presumed older 'sister' from blame. I think it's likely that the 18-yo is being manipulated/emotionally abused by their partner in some way but I'm also worried that they might be manipulating the OP. I'm just worried about the possible harm (?) that the stereotyping on this thread of assuming it's a weak and helpless younger sister who is obviously genuinely upset/repulsed and not just putting on an act because she got caught.

FWIW, OP, I know this is your life! I don't want to scare you. Only you know your children and can begin to guess at what was actually going on.