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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

commitment phobe?

121 replies

lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 19:24

help? seeing someone and he sees me one to two times a week and doesn't want to look at me or text me between times?! ignores me, blanks me and then will see me...it's so hard it hurts so bad..what do i do?

OP posts:
Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:02

i texted him have i done something wrong? please tell me...

OP posts:
Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:04

i said i bring you drink..i give you blow jobs..i love sex with you... i don't understand?!!

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:04

no answer...

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Joysmum · 12/12/2015 21:06

You're trying to engage with him. Seriously, cut contact and block him Flowers

Arrowminta · 12/12/2015 21:07

No he won't answer of he he does he will keep it light..

Don't give this user any more of your time, lick your wounds then move on. Sooner the better.

He will move on to some other sucker (poor girl) and you will come out of it wiser.

TeaFathers · 12/12/2015 21:09

you're being used for sex.
bin.

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:12

because last week we were getting on so well, like friends, i thought yes, this is good,..and then i saw him and then nothing..

OP posts:
Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:13

thanks everyone for your advice, this is so difficult

OP posts:
Joysmum · 12/12/2015 21:14

He makes enough of an effort to give him what he wants when he wants it. No more than that.

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:15

why am i hoping he'll text me?.....

OP posts:
Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:16

i texted him i can't stand this..... please tell me to fuck off..please get rid of me...

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:16

tell me to fuck off to my face ...please

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:16

but he hasn't!!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:17

i said i can't stand this...please

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 12/12/2015 21:19

To.be blunt, he doesn't respect you because you don't respect yourself.

If you hadn't said you were late 30s I'd have thought you were 18. What is your previous relationship history if you dont mind me asking, have you had long relationships, been hurt etc?

pinkyredrose · 12/12/2015 21:22

OP don't give him the power! Take the power yourself, text him that you've had enough of being used by him, you've seen the light and realised he's a total waste of time fuckwit and never contact you again. Just do it. You'll feel better without this idiot fucking your head up.

ScrambledSmegs · 12/12/2015 21:22

and once he said it was over...a few days later he said to come and see him

He's not a commitment-phobe. You're his booty call, but he hasn't had the consideration to tell you.

Come on, you know you're worth more than that. Thanks

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:23

yes been hurt a lot really badly..physically, i told him please, ive had worse than you ..men punching me in the head, men being really mean ...

OP posts:
ScrambledSmegs · 12/12/2015 21:23

Oh no, did you actually send that text to him?

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:24

he didn't reply to that...

OP posts:
ScrambledSmegs · 12/12/2015 21:24

Have you heard of the Freedom Programme?

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:24

yes why?!!

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:25

no

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Suddenlyseymour · 12/12/2015 21:26

You are subjugating yourself; he has all the power and you are at his beck and call, hanging off his every measily communications. I am embarrassed for you- please stopbeingso needy and tell him to do one x

ScrambledSmegs · 12/12/2015 21:27

Well, because you've basically given him a green light to treat you badly, because you've been abused in the past. That's no way to think of yourself.

You are worth more than this. The Freedom Programme could help you, it's not just for those who are the victims of violence at the moment.

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