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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

commitment phobe?

121 replies

lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 19:24

help? seeing someone and he sees me one to two times a week and doesn't want to look at me or text me between times?! ignores me, blanks me and then will see me...it's so hard it hurts so bad..what do i do?

OP posts:
Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:23

why is he so lovely going when we are together?

OP posts:
Suddenlyseymour · 12/12/2015 20:24

Good god, you're late 30's and accepting these crumbs? So "he's great when i see him" but inbetween times, he blanks you? Lovey you are the "it'll do for now" bracket, he doesn't want people to know you have been seeing him (for him you are nothing more than a booty call) just walk away, this will not ever blossom into any relationship. Pleasw raise the bar!

pinkyredrose · 12/12/2015 20:26

He's lovely because he wants you to open your legs .

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:33

oh god this hurts a lot ..

OP posts:
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 12/12/2015 20:35

He blanks you? For god sake woman grow a pair. Dump the twat.

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:41

yes, so say i see him in the morning, everything lovely,a few hours later when i see him he blanks me, so i text him what have i done wrong?

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:41

he doesn't answer!

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:42

he says he feels like everything's closing in on him

OP posts:
pictish · 12/12/2015 20:42

What do you mean when you see him a few hours later?
You see him in the morning...lovely. You see him later and he blanks you. Where do you see him later?

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:43

but day before he's calling me a wonderful gorgeous woman

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:45

around

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 12/12/2015 20:48

Maybe he doesn't want people to know he's seeing you, so he's nice in private and ignores you in public
Doesn't really matter what the reason is, it's shitty behaviour

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:48

and once he said it was over...a few days later he said to come and see him

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:49

i don't know if i'm wanted or not it is really confusing and headfucking!!!

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:49

i don't know where i am with him

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pictish · 12/12/2015 20:52

If he pretends like there's nothing between you in public, he is a snake eyed piece of manipulative, using shit.

He is nice to you when he wants sex. The rest of the time he doesn't want to know. What a fucker he is.

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:54

oh god....i've got to stop texting him

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:55

i punched the wall the other night and my hand hurts..

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 20:56

i texted him..are you going to smile at me..and he said yes..and then he didn't..

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 12/12/2015 20:58

Oh god
I'm sorry I can't read these one line posts any more. Each one is more tragic than the last. You do know where you stand but you can't face it. Get over yourself and stop lying down for him to walk over

Joysmum · 12/12/2015 21:00

You do know where you are with him. He's not a commitmentphobe, he just wants you for no strings sex and you've been going along with it.

That's not working for you so you need to protect yourself from the pain he's causing you. Block him and have no further contact, for your own sake Flowers

Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:00

thank you everyone for helping me

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:01

god knows what i'm going to do

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Original poster
lostinthewoodshelp · 12/12/2015 21:01

!!!

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Arrowminta · 12/12/2015 21:02

Ignore him from now on and don't get in contact yourself.

I had one like this that strung me along for a few years and even rang every night, so no ignoring me like your guy. I thought I'd never get over him but I did.... do it.