I'm sorry, I don't have statistics, but the anecdotal evidence that I do have suggests that, A Lot Fewer Times than you think, the OW knows he's married. One mainly hears about the brazen ones, the ones who win the "Pick Me Dance", etc. And those are a very specific shitty sub-set.
But justvthink fir a moment about the very nature of the core of lying bastards: they lie. They've successfully lied to you for a lot longer than they have to that latest bit of skirt. There are so many instances of women who don't know they're an OW. Because the H lied to them too. And, not, like, actually living with the guy and knowing him for umpteen years, or having access to his post, or xomputer oasswords, etc, they didn't see through the lies. And many may (or may not) have heard some version of the truth but ishe doesn't have a lot of choice. (Sorry, but I know of at least two sexually harassed women in job situations). Bear in kind, the fucktard who feels entitled to cheat on his wife, the love of his life, mother to his children, etc, frequently doesn't stop the "entitlement" attitude at general decency or even legality. Consent is based on do many things, and one of them is knowledge and understanding.
And there's a reason we only hear about the brazen, et al. It's still all our fault, no matter what we do. Earlier, I asked if any of you, who have been hit upon by married men since you're now single, have told the relevant wives, many of whom were your friends, what had happened.
Crickets chirped. Indeed, the only follow-up, if you want to call it that, is a lament that, in so doing (albeit, being done to, so to speak), some of your own support network is diminished.
And, you know, I am saddened by this. But, in the same way, I am angry. Doesn't that make you angry too?!? That male assholiness can not only go unpunished but, as a bonus, taint and diminish a women's own legitimate relationships? How can this be acceptable?!? I seriously boggle!
I'm not asking you to spend any amount of time worrying about the OWs. Really I'm not! And, I seriously don't know what the percentage of unknowing/unwilling OWn would be. Although, i should imagine, if every woman who'd been lied to, sexually coerced, raped, paid, promised, or even just [unsuccessfully] propositioned by a married scumbag suddenly woke up tomorrow in a society where they'd get to tell their story with no repercussions, the statistics would be vastly different.
All I'm asking is that you keep the bulk of the anger where it needs to stay: with the lying scumbags. The ones who KNEW exactly what it was doing to YOU, and did it anyway.
And the system that places all the blame on women.