Brave Babes - Wrapping up for a Wonderful Winter

[venusandmars]

Hi, I am venusandmars and I've been on these threads for many years.

It can be tough at this time of year when the adverts are full of families cheerfully opening bottles of wine and good cheer, when work parties are alcohol fuelled, when distant friends call round with a bottle in hand.

Maybe you're trying to cut down a little in the pre-Christmas weeks, maybe you are struggling to know how to continue with a longer period of abstinence, maybe you are waking up after a Christmas Party feeling sick and covered in shame (or even feeling shame and covered in sick).

Whatever, whenever, if you want to stop, or cut down, or simply share your struggle with others who also feel the tug..... please join us.

Usually our lovely mouseface opens these threads, but the poor mouse is sick in hospital and so I am overcoming the technophobia that a 50-something feels.... (well done me ). Our last thread is here if you want to read the last few posts

And if you want to read the story from the beginning (you'll need a few weeks) HERE is where it all started when Jesuswhatnext posted in May 2010.

Welcome one and all x

Morning All

Thank you for great party, I laughed out load several times yesterday, it's such a good feeling to laugh (and really laugh, as opposed to a pissed induced laugh, IYSWIM) 'a sober laugh'

Fox I hope you're meeting wasn't too zzzzzz. How are you lovely?

Sweet really glad that work is going well. Hope pooch is behaving x

Ma thank you for bringing the solders hope trip to London was a success x

Pop well done on the moderate drinking in Spain sounds like you had a lovely time. Lent as good a time as any to stay AF, I think Nuff mentioned carrying on through lent. I'm happy to be AF with you. Keep going lovely you're doing really well x

Margie loved your eyeshadow! it has been a tough road but so well worth it. Keep going lovely, take one day at a time, you'll soon be racking up the days x

South how you doing? have a good day today x

Tink did you manage to download the app? it's very useful and certainly gives 'a reality check' once you get going x

Beaches thank you for being you

Good reasons not to drink (thought I'd start a list, Beaches you like a list don't ya?) please add anything you can think of:-

My skin looks & feels better
I have a spring in my step & more energy (although still waking up at 'stupid o'clock grrrrr) also taking pharmaton vits which I think help
I have far more patience, especially with my kids
I am a nicer person
I am less anxious
I don't feel that sick feeling in my stomach when I wake up
There is no feeling of dread
I'm feeling proud to say 'I don't drink' (rather than slightly embarrassed & like they really must think I was a total alcoholic with a really bad problem if they had to stop for good - now I don't give a shit what people think, truthfully, I really don't)
I can see things in life so much more clearly
I'm making better decisions
I am happy (although it can be an emotional roller coaster)
I can cope so much better and I'm more reasonable

Margie I have so many regrets regarding my kids and completely understand (experience them not so often anymore.) My advice (not that I'm an expert) remember the moments, cry, scream, That was then this is now, you can't take back anything that was said or done, but you can now be a better person, mother, wife, colleague, friend. It is hard to revisit those dreaded moments but you have to move on and look forward and above all live in the present not the past. x

Sorry not to name call everyone. Have a good day all and can I just say 'I love this bus and all that rides in, on, next to him' Thank you x

Welcome Blar you're in the right place, we understand & we all have stories to tell. Brush yourself down, grab a seat and enjoy the ride. You'll get heaps of support here

Morning Claret sounds like a lovely evening, it is amazing how much time we all wasted, wasted!!!!!!! have a good day x

Thank you so much claret spanna
I'm still feeling pretty fragile today, filled with self doubt/loathing.
I really appreciate the welcome.

Welcome Blar. I hear you on the self-loathing, I am in a very regretful phase at the moment too. But as the wonderfully wise Spanna says above we can only live in the present and aim to be a better person in the future.

The thing I love about this bus is that I always felt so alone in my drinking - everyone around me in RL can moderate whereas I have always been the one passed out or making a total arse of herself. I had no idea that there were lots of people making arses of themselves in other places too!!! That sounds really flippant, but it's true - it is so good to know that I'm not alone, and everyone on this bus faces the same struggle.

I'm going to my old AA meeting tonight - I can't go on a regular basis but tonight my DCs are elsewhere and I really want to go. My sponsor chairs the meeting and she is so calm and wise and supportive, definitely what I need at the mo!

Spanna, thanks for the reassurance hon. I love the list, I would add:

• I am so much more competent and achieve so much more at work.
• I feel like I'm setting a good example to my kids.
• I know that my Mum, if she was still with us, would be proud of me.
• I actually get things done in the evenings.
• I remember what I did/watched/said the previous evening.

Welcome blar you have made a brilliant first step stopping for a few days and getting some support. There is no wAy I would have come as far as this without the bus. I did drink whilst away as the triggers were just too strong and I was not drinking like a normo ( love that phrase wS that south ?) but I was not far off a normo on holiday I hope. Anyway I'm almost relieved to home and back on AF. Helped along by a stinking cold and -

• feeling more patient , grown up and in control
• saving money!
• actually falling asleep and not just passing out
• not having sore toes and thinking I have gout / liver disease / alcohol related dementia
• not waking up sat and Sunday morning feeling knackered And hungover and not enjoying family time
• hugs from kids who don't know why but clearly find me more approachable and calm
• ditto DP
• not having to constantly buy booze in case I run out
• better bladder function
• less puffy face

I'd like to crack the exercise and weight loss now. Losing a stone and toning up to be stronger would be brilliant. Anyone else for an AF lent ladies??

Welcome Blar

God today has been difficult, I have been thinking about a glass of wine since this mornings dog walk. Fortunately I have to take DS to his maths tutor tonight, so that's kept me on the side of virtue.

Loving reading everyone's positives lists. I'm going to add mine at the end of dj, currently enjoying writing it mentally and adding to it on a daily basis!

My internal wine alarm has just gone off, everyday at 4pm on the dot. I could set my clock by it I'd laugh if it wasn't so pathetic!

Chin up blar keep on keeping on - you'll likely feel better as everyday passes.

pop I've been meaning to say, huge well done on your 'normo' drinking on your trip away - bet that feels so good? I'm away with friends (the ones I get wasted with/think it's with but its actually alone) soon and hoping for the same moderation that you managed.

sweet keep strong, you're doing amazingly

Happy Wednesday babes

Thanks claret although it was def the heavy holiday ing end of normo!

Lovely sweet hang on in there. Distract distract distract. Nice fever tree tonic lime and plenty of ice? I'm making Nigel slaters sausage and leek tagliatelle tonight which should distract from the need for vino. We can do a dry night together.

For now though, more negotiations on the house are imminent - we just received the survey ..... Needs so much more doing than I was hoping for.

pop I will join you for an AF lent. So far this month I've lost 13lbs and am hoping to make it to a stone by the end of January. Unfortunately I can still afford to lose a few more lbs so happy to keep it going through February too and emerge like a baby hippo butterfly at Easter

Seriously though, it will be a good challenge because six weeks is a longer stretch than January so it will be fun to give it a go

Hey blar glad you made it over here. You will get lots of real practical support from people who don't judge you.
There is also a fair amount of lunacy which is easy to get lost in so keep shouting if you feel you are being ignored.

Ooh Evil I do love Nigel Slater but haven't tried that recipe - what's it like? Sorry you're struggling a bit today, Sweet. How are you feeling Blar?

Am feeling ok, have distracted myself successfully with copious amounts of admin. Have now got to the point where I am slightly worried I am creating admin in order to distract myself, which would be a particularly stupid vicious circle. But am not drinking, and am planning to stay dry for Feb/Lent - it is just easier that way, for me (which is not to say it is easy, nor that I am denigrating moderation - I just can't do it!).

Btw who was it who had a footner thingy on here a couple of weeks ago? Was it you Ma? Like the suggestible person I am, I purchased one and I feel so foolish with it! Just managed to fall down stairs like drunk person, it is so squishy and icky. Did it work, anyway? I need an incentive here!

Love to all babes.

Not me with the footner. Think it was faire
We need an update whoever it was.

pop I so understand when you said about being grown up! I know that's weird, because we are grown up...in theory. But getting completely fucked on a regular basis as a new teenage drinking might, is so not cool. I'd love to be able to drink like a normo (yes, that was me!) but we'll see.

Blar well done in coming here. When I first wrote (I can't bring myself to look at my early posts just yet) I was in the midst of The Horrors. I went completely mad on the 30th Dec. I've not drank since and boy do I feel better for it.

I'm running an epsom salt bath so can't go over the list of pro's at the minute, but one thing I will say is that the more I drink/eat/sleep the more I want to drink/eat/sleep. Now I've knocked the drinking on the head for the month, I am so, so much more motivated. And the more I'm getting done, the more I want to get done.

I don't think it's a coincidence that since I've stopped drinking I've received two good job offers and am in the process of becoming Chair of the PTA.

No exercise on the plate yet - but I really fucking hate that and I really like chocolate...so one thing at a time!!

I take it day by day. I take vitamins B Complex to keep the cravings at bay and I allow myself chocolate and sleep and time to read and cook and catch up with my family. I ride out any craving by telling myself if it's still there in an hour, I'll have a drink...it never is. The cravings are not like hunger. They do not get worse - they pass. I promise you this. Once you get that in your head, and experience it, it changes your mindset somewhat and it all seems very possible.

Just break it down into manageable chunks...

Peace x

Small it was me with the footner. I didn't even try to walk around in mine, just sat in front of the telly for an hour. Anyway it is absolutely fab. Nothing happened for about three days and then the peeling started.

It's disgusting and sooooo very satisfying to pull off all the loose, dead skin

Thanks Faire - I dread to think what's in it! Anyway, thank you for the reassurance - I was grumpy when I couldn't see any immediate baby soft skin . I will keep you updated on the Great Peel.

Wow thank you so much for the very kind welcome I feel so touched.
I've had a good day today in a lot of ways but may have fallen completely off my low carb/sugar free wagon into a giant steak pie it was good but my tummy is hurting a bit now.
It's so ridiculous that I eat so healthy would turn my nose up at a pot noodle etc but then I'll turn around and pour 3litres of poison into my body quaff quaff while eating my "good" food. What a hypocritical fandango. I think drinking just makes me a big fraud.
I just don't get why sometimes I can be fine with it and other times I fall out a taxi and throw up in the garden. Why can't I just know when I'm done like a normal person.
Sorry long rant and probably over share.

I very much fancy the foot peel. Please update small when they are all soft and lovely.

We need foot peel photos!!!

Hello, I heard there was a party?

Well done spanna that's awesome!

Ma - if I post a picture of my feet right now I'd break the thread. Faire - can you raise the tone of things with your sparkly new feet?

Hey joey lovely to see you. How's tricks? Passes joey a leftover party popper and a chocolate

Blar been there, done that and a lot more...

And yes, maybe 97 times out of 100 I'm a good drinker. Almost normal! But the other three times are NOT worth it. Not even one bit.

It's very easy to get evangelical about sober life when one is extolling the virtues of same. But seriously, it's fucking fab. And I've not been able to say that about a night's drinking for a long, long time.

joey Hi!

ma mouse small claret baby and to those I've missed but can't see up thread on this machine, hello to you all and be strong x x

No Small, they are still peeling. Only about 80% done so far.

Ma you can get the idea by googling footner images but be warned, it's not pretty.

Actually, it's more about the feel of the baby soft skin underneath, rather than what they look like.

faire what incredible weight loss!! Well done. I've certainly found losing weight more successful this month as I'm not knocking back about 600 calories of wine a day!

Very tempted by the footner!!!

blar I'm exactly the same with diet - get my five a day, avoid 'unhealthy' food (most of the time ) but don't think twice about necking copious amounts of poison every night. I think marketing is a lot to blame - we are fed this imagine of thin glamourous women sipping a cocktail or chilled white wine - no one shows the reality. I got to the point where I was not eating dinner so that I could 'guilt free' drink my calories.

Omg just googled footner images looks ever so satisfying! think I'm going to get one!