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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Done something stupid...do i tell him?

133 replies

selfishandstupid · 09/12/2006 10:51

Ok really dont know what to do but know i have to do something.

Over the past 12 mnths i've got a large amount on my credit card which dh knows nothing about.
Now i dont have money to pay monthly payments and dh is going to find out.
He's going to explode, I've lied to him in the past about money and promised i'd never do it again but here i am again.
i'm not a good wife anyway and seem to be constantly letting him down...

how the hell do itell him i've done it again and even worse this time?
tbh think i'll just leave cant face it, i know i'm a coward but cant think of what else to do...

[waiting for backlash]

OP posts:

swifter · 12/12/2006 15:56

I have found this thread really interesting. I was a SAHM for 15 months and now work 2 days a week in a job I love and am well paid for it. I really feel I have the best of both worlds and think I am very Lucky. Since working my self-esteem has increased. It is nice to have people listen to my judgement and act upon it.

I still get to do baby groups etc and have go to the stage with lots of my friends there where we dont even talk about the kids.

According to Xenia though, I must be very silly. Let my OH deal with the finances as I find it very dull. Know what investments we have (or lack of them) and what our overdraft facility is but thats it. However if he did one, then I know I would be able to deal with our finances I just choose not to now. End of.

junkinmytrunk · 12/12/2006 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Judy1234 · 12/12/2006 18:38

Why do so many of the women find finance dull?
Do you think that's genetic for women or some huge coincidence?

swifter · 12/12/2006 19:11

not sure - never had a mathematical brain and i do switch off after about 10 mins of doing my monthly budget, helping OH with tax returns etc. Just find it boring.

Now grazia magazine and the in's and out's of Brangelinas relationship is a different story

DonnerDasherDancerDior · 12/12/2006 20:10

I love finance and was a bit geeky about my WW earnings. It was all on a spreadsheet, broken down into various categories. I love maths, so your theory is out there Xenia.

DonnerDasherDancerDior · 12/12/2006 20:11

And I hate gossip magazines.

swifter · 12/12/2006 20:23

i was actually being glib - sorry

uwila · 13/12/2006 08:47

If you entrust your DH/W to do all the finances and you stay happily married until you both die of old age (on the same day) then I guess that works out. But, if your marriage ends in divorce or the one who is involved with the finances dies first, then what are you going to do? And what if the one who looks after the money isn't as good at it as you thought he/she was? What are you going to do if one day you suddenly discover you have a mountain of debt and half of it is in your name?

So, if you stay happily married the division of chores can work just fine. But, in this day and age, so many marriages fail and you put yourself at risk if you don't have control over your money.

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