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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DRY 9!!!!!

999 replies

CheesyNachos · 11/10/2015 20:39

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

OP posts:
Original poster
CheesyNachos · 02/12/2015 05:37

Thanks Umpteen. :)

Body is rehydrating dona! I wee all the time too. I comfort myself by saying that because I am drinking so much water and herbal tea my skin must be getting better and brighter and I simply must be looking younger. Wink

(Truth is, I am looking younger. My skin is plumper. Mind you, after yesterday's efforts everything about me is plumper. Blush )

Hope everyone has a great sober day today. :)

School run trigger time treat for me today... hot chocolate with nutmeg and a dash of cayenne pepper. Cake

OP posts:
Original poster
CheesyNachos · 02/12/2015 06:04

Lovely Christmas mocktails here....

www.telegraph.co.uk/food-and-drink/cocktails/non-alcoholic-cocktails/

I am SO going to try the hibiscus one, as rather fortuitously have a bottle of hibiscus syrup in the cupboard! (It might be out of date.... bought before DS was even born).

OP posts:
Marryoneorbecomeone · 02/12/2015 11:53

Hello!Sad

Marryoneorbecomeone · 02/12/2015 11:55

I'm an alcoholic. I know I am, but I don't think I believe it yet properly. I defo have a problem. Where do I start with this thread? Do I need to read every page from the start or do you have a kind of summary?
Thankyou x

Original poster
CheesyNachos · 02/12/2015 12:01

Hello and welcome!

Just jump right in!

Basically, we are a mutually supportive thread for people who are aiming to be totally dry rather than to moderate. We are all at different stages..... some have been sober for years, others months and others days. Some of us (me!) have many slips but keep coming back and trying again. (Practice makes perfect right?!). We chat, pass on tips and support. You are welcome to read back over the last many threads, or just start here fresh with us today!

So.. what are your trigger times and danger times? Do you have a plan to get through that today?

oop... phone call... back in a mo....

OP posts:
Original poster
CheesyNachos · 02/12/2015 12:14

.... one thing I can recommend is changing your regular routine at trigger times. My trigger time was walking through the door after the school run- so i would take DS to Costa coffee first. Or take him to softplay. Just doing something different. If yours is cooking dinner, for example, maybe get takeaway for the first day etc. Just shaking the habit up makes it easier at first.

and post alot! We are here.

OP posts:
DippyDooDahDay · 02/12/2015 12:48

Hi. Can I join too? I need somewhere I can get daily ideas and posts... Can't get to AA. Need to stop drinking but need help and back up. It was a factor in leaving my job. And it's creeping up and up... I've had a few drink free days and know how much better my mood is.. But then if someone around me has a drink I will 'join them' and then I'm back on the merry go round for days or weeks...generally don't drink in the day, but now I'm not working, it's an option that I've taken sometimes.. But it doesn't stop with a glass with lunch... It just sets it off :(

donajimena · 02/12/2015 12:56

Hi marry you found us then! As cheesy said just jump in. In the early days (I'm only 23 days sober) I popped on this thread to talk about my feelings whether they are good or bad. I also wrote here the other night when I was struggling with a really bad craving.
like you mentioned on your other thread I'm another person who can't stop at one drink (or even three ) and I was at the stage of drinking on a daily basis.
You can share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.
Its sober party night for me tonight. I don't feel as I will be missing out as to justify drinking at £5 per drink and getting a taxi I'd have to get wasted so I am actually looking forward to not drinking and being able to drive home.
I am determined to strut my stuff on the dance floor though as in my head I have built it up to be a big barrier about going out and staying sober - that I won't be able to let loose... The reality is probably I look like a pissed idiot anyway.
I hope you are all sleeping better. As I mentioned last night I am having to use the loo all the time due to my rehydration! But as was said its ok to be tired rather than hungover.
Fantastic news on the vanity front too.. I was doing my concealer this morning and I have noticed that the capillaries around my nose are barely noticeable! Result!

donajimena · 02/12/2015 13:02

Hi dippy I am another one who can't get to AA due to work and family comittments. This thread is working better for me than AA did so in my opinion its a good support (I'm not knocking AA my friend is going regularly and its working for her)
As I mentioned in my last post I am an all or nothing drinker too.
You are in good company here Wink

Original poster
CheesyNachos · 02/12/2015 13:03

Hi Dippy!

Dona's mention of £5 a drink reminded me also.... keep track of what you are saving by not drinking. I am saving easily £70 a week, just myself. That is based on drinking a bottle and a half of Aldi cheapy wine a day and a few pub nights (with pub prices) a week. I LOVE seeing that add up. (DH has conceded promised that we can go to Lapland for a long weekend Christmas 2016 with that money!).

I also put a £1 in a jar each day I do not drink and use that to buy sober treats fairly regularly.

On the subject of sober treats (a true bonus of being sober!) buy yourself a little gift tomorrow to mark a successful Day 1 under your belt. Flowers... a magazine, whatever. Just something that is a bit treaty. The trick is to see joy and reward in not-drinking in the early days.

OP posts:
DippyDooDahDay · 02/12/2015 13:24

Thanks for the welcome and ideas. I will start a sober jar and get a treat tomorrow! I know how much better I feel alcohol free but I need to keep that mindset when I'm around others that want me to join them

Marryoneorbecomeone · 02/12/2015 13:44

That's interesting about trigger moments. Mine is something to do with winding down in the evening. I can't seem to feel sleepy. The evenings feel so long and pointless and the first glass of wine is great but I read somewhere you have to "play the end of the film" and it's never good, and yet I still do it.

I just don't understand.

donajimena · 02/12/2015 15:08

Mine is a winding down thing too. The demarcation from day to night. If you read back a few pages I posted about it and I have to completely structure my evening now to stop me twiddling my thumbs! Its got a LOT easier now. I did have a tough evening on Monday but I posted here instead.
I am relying on over the counter sleeping stuff but I am down to every other night on that now. I read books and watch netflix as well and I'm thinking about some of those adult colouring books.
I am absolutely loving no hangovers more than I love drinking. I've been pissed the best part of 12 years. Sad I can't go back to that. I can do it. You can too. Smile

donajimena · 02/12/2015 15:09

My sober treat was a babyliss curl secret. I've more than justified it in what I have saved already Grin

DippyDooDahDay · 02/12/2015 15:46

I'm amazed at how often o lie to myself and think I've got away with it... 'Today you will have just one glass and be in control"... As soon as that one goes down, a false chatter starts in my head, justifying 'well, go and buy two mini wines and make it your last drink. Today's the day!"..., then those have been downed and "well, it's the evening soon so you might as well get a bottle as you've started today so tomorrow can be your fresh start". Ad infinitum. 🤔

donajimena · 02/12/2015 16:09

Id wake up in the morning feeling rough and say 'thats it. Not tonight' but come 4 pm of course it was a different story... ad finitum!

Seabiscotti · 02/12/2015 16:27

Hello Dippy and Marry, welcome. You will receive great support on here.

Early nights, warm baths and a change in routine are good tactics to use.

I am going to treat myself to a body massage this month. I am not sure whether to do it just before Christmas or between that and New Year.

Tomorrow is my meal out. I have told everyone I am driving. I am going to be drinking St Clements. I am also going to have a dessert for a change, which I am very much looking forward to Xmas Grin

Marryoneorbecomeone · 02/12/2015 17:47

Can any of you tell me how you felt before and after your first meeting? Mine is tonight and my guts churn at the thought. How the heck did I get here?

Lucy2610 · 02/12/2015 18:24

Welcome Marry & Dippy :) I was terrified before my first meeting & think that is fairly normal. You don't have to say anything and in my experience they will do their best to be welcoming and help you relax. How the heck did I get here too - but you know what? Apart from getting married and having the 2DC's - it is the best thing to have happened to me Grin It's not the end - it's just the beginning!

3phase · 02/12/2015 21:04

Welcome Marry and Dippy

I'm on Day 24 and also enjoying being sober and hangover free. Some tric

I had my first 'surprise test' today - I'd arranged to have lunch with some of the Mums from school as we were all going to watch our children in a little show. The venue isn't licensed so I wasn't prepared for the champagne glasses on the table or the bottle of champagne that popped out of one of the lady's handbags - she'd apparently arranged with management to BYO!

They're fairly new friends - our kids all started reception in September and I'm new to the school / area. I really wanted to have a glass, just to be part of the gang really. I said no but I felt very awkward afterwards and I could see them all trying to suss out why I wasn't joining them. I muttered something about medical reasons.

Aside from that I'm feeling fab and am finally over my chest infection.. I have so much energy and can stay up so late! I always used to be in bed before 9pm, now I'm struggling to get to sleep before 11! And because I'm actually sleeping as opposed to passing out, I wake up feeling rested. Tis a revelation!

I had one of my best girlfriends for supper tonight, she asked how long I was going to stay off the wine for. I said I didn't know but that I'd read a book called "Sober Is The New Black" and I thought it really might be the new black for me. I've decided that is going to be a line I use a lot....sober is the new black...

How did the meeting go Marry ?

BamBam21 · 02/12/2015 21:35

Hi everyone. Glad to see everybody doing so well.

Just the same for me really. Still trying to get dry, but it's a struggle.

You are all a real inspiration. Thanks

Marryoneorbecomeone · 02/12/2015 22:35

Hello! Went to my first meeting. My husband said "you don't have to go if you don't want to" but I still did. It was nerve wracking and I was tearful but as predicted everyone was very kind and welcoming and it was humbling.
I don't know if I'm "severe" enough. I don't know if I have it in me to go through the steps - the soul searching makes me want to run. But I know I defo have a problem even if it's not as clear as some of the other speakers.

One point that made sense was "you don't have to let the left go to the ground floor before you come back up" or words to that effect.

Lucy2610 · 02/12/2015 22:39

Hey Bam it's good to hear from you :) I'm not drinking today or tomorrow so why not join me? I'm running a sober advent calendar on my blog if you need added inspiration. Twas a fellow Scot on day one Grin Flowers

Lucy2610 · 02/12/2015 22:41

Marry x-post. Glad it went okay :) Don't worry about whether you are severe enough. It doesn't matter how much you drink, or how often, its how it makes you feel and yes riding the lift to the bottom isn't necessary you can get off at any time. You don't have to do the step work either if you don't want to.

Seabiscotti · 02/12/2015 23:49

Marry, I have just read your thread. Well done on all you have achieved today.

AsLucy said, it is about your relationship with alcohol. You don't have to wait for things to get severe before doing anything about it. You have had an emotional day, try and get some rest now Flowers