DRY 9!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

Fabulous post Teapot. I was at slimming world today and so many people said they had drunk four bottles of wine at the weekend and no one batted an eyelid. One woman even said that she was going to a party this weekend and would drink 3 bottles minimum. Our attitude to alcohol is really screwed up. That's what makes it harder, as drinking to excess seems to be a norm and the way adults have fun and are fun.

Hi friends! Checking back in as I sometimes do on my way back from a business trip. I'm at day 67 (no longer counting, but looked at the calendar). A lot has changed in the last 3(ish) weeks. I think about drinking MUCH MUCH less - I think yesterday I didn't think about drinking/not drinking even once, and realized as I was falling asleep. Different from the obsession at the beginning.

Anyone else got experience with religion and giving up alcohol? I am a weekly church goer with the family; we're pretty deeply involved in our church (we're Anglicans)... and it's a big part of life. But in recent weeks I feel fed up in and around church - finding it hard to go with it, hard to have any kind of faith. Wonder if it is related to sobriety???? I would have thougt maybe sobriety would tend most people in the other direction? Any ideas?

interesting question, Sirenetta. I think I am going in the other direction though! I used to have a faith - solidly Anglican like you - but increasingly felt that it just could not be true and stopped attending church about five years ago. Now though, now that I am a few weeks sober, I feel the need for something spiritual. For instance a few hours ago I was listening to a lovely Choral Evensong on the radio and started joining in with the responses and collects. Hm.

So I think perhaps what happens as we sober up is that we become truer to ourselves. You're thinking, "Maybe I don't need this in my life" and I'm thinking, "i'm lacking something spiritual in my life". We're both right. People further along the sober journey will have something to say on this, and I'd like to hear them. So far, to me, it feels like I am taking an inventory of myself and readdressing old patterns of thought and behaviour. I am beginning to realise that I am allowed to be ME, not the people-pleasing apparently-coping-but-actually-drunk mummy.

AWESOME post!!
Sirenetta & Umpteen agnostic person here who's over 2 years sober and in the last couple of months have found myself questioning my lack of spirituality and am exploring what that means for me. Doing lots of meditation, mindfulness and heading in a Buddhist type direction. Whatever your belief for me being aware of a bigger universe type presence is becoming influential in my formerly secular world. That's my cuppa's worth anyway :)

PS If you're interested in the idea of rebelling through being sober - check out the straight edge community and I wrote a post about it recently called sticking two fingers up here

Morning all..... reading but not posting as not much to say right now!

Welcome everyone new. LOVED teapot's post also.

On another topic....

does anyone fancy joining in on a 'lovely luscious mocktail' of the day? Perfect for those trigger times.

Today I fancy a spiced hot chocolate with cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, vanilla and maple syrup. Marshmallows optional.

That's my 4 pm post-school run treat sorted.

Great post Teapot.

I'm veer between atheist and agnostic throughout my life, currently atheist . Funny I was thinking about religion at lot myself recently, more so because a lot of friends and acquaintances are becoming Christian. I would dearly love to believe in something and I like the idea of the community the church provides. I go to toddler groups sometimes in the churches here and a lot of the regular church goers seem very friendly and welcoming. Unfortunately things like that you can't force your beliefs.

I'm tending to think along more Buddhist lines myself if I had to pick any, I strongly believe in everything being interdependent and that we have a personal responsibility to ourselves, other people and the world around us. All actions have consequences and being the change you want to see in the world type thing :) I'm no-where near any of those things but baby steps. I do think it is common to question a lot of our beliefs as we become sober, it can only be a good thing. Personal growth. Whatever was before obviously wasn't working for us in some way. Maybe we need to give more or less of ourselves in certain ways?

Anyway, I'm waffling and not making myself very clear, need coffee . Well done on 67 days Sirenetta

Ginger I soo agree with you. I'm in NI and it seems like a national pastime to get pissed.

Morning all.

Back to Day 1 yet again here. I'm never even getting out of the starting blocks really.

I've got a horrible cold, my throat and ears are sore and my nose is streaming. I thought I was going to throw up and pass out in the shower earlier.

I was always quite a spiritual person - brought up Catholic, but with quite a lot of pagan leanings. I've found over the last couple of years my spirituality has faded dramatically, and I don't really know if I believe now. I absolutely think that this has a lot to do with my drinking, and how I just can't find a way out. I keep hoping that if I can find some belief again it might spur me to quit drinking, but I just can't find that spark any more.

Morning all.

We are quite deep for so early in the morning .

I was raised a Catholic and stopped practicing in my teens, but still remained very respectful of it, if that makes sense.
Over the last few years, I have talked about returning and I have now done that. There are elements of the Catholic faith I disagree with, contraception, etc.

Essentially I believe that we need to be good to ourselves and others, and that this is the basis of most religions.

I am also starting to read about meditation, Buddhism etc and I am finding that very interesting and appealing too.

Apologies if that is not well written, my brain has not kicked into gear yet this morning.

Hi everyone - managed to get through Day 1 and have a slightly clearer head this morning

I was raised a Christian but it dawned on me when I was quite young that not everybody's God could be the "only one", so gave up believing at that point.

When I'm sober, I get such pleasure from being in the great outdoors so if I had to pick a religion, I guess it would be Pagan. To quote the Bible (even though I'm an atheist) it's as if the scales have fallen from my eyes and I can see the beauty and peace in nature, and I find it very healing.

I was on here a month or so ago and I made it to Day 16 before everything went out of the windw and I had a bad day. I managed another 3 days after that and then I decided to stop my antidepressant medication (venlafaxine) becuse even having cut the alcohol and focussing on exercise and diet it wasnt working and probably because taking it or not was the only thing I felt able to control. I did it cold turkey which was not the best idea as I had horrendous withdrawal symptoms but it was my decision. I stopped almost 3 weeks ago and still feel sick and have flu like symptoms. I also fell out with my psychiatrist and my CBT therapist.

When the withdrawl symptoms were really bad I felt far too ill to even think about drinking but as they have improved I have been drinking again and I can see the old pattern returning. I really want to stop again but with everything else going on it feels such a struggle.

I have some wine left from yesterday - perhaps one large glass and I know I should really throw it away but I keep thinking of drinking it and also buying some more. I dont really know whay I do it because it doesnt bring me any relief.

Any words of wisdom would be really helpful.

I remember you vxa. How much are you drinking? Is it daily? I am wondering that with the drinking and meds etc, maybe you need to do it under medical supervision.

Well done Jam.

Funny thing. Going to mass and taking the sacramental wine is giving me cravings. So I shall tip toe round it. Strange how deep and scarey that desire is once that physical memory switch is tripped.
The thing that keeps me away from drink is the horror of one more hangover. I can't cope with them. I drank all the time on my anti depressants and probably did myself no good whatsoever but I didn't really care at the time and that was a cycle in itself.
I do think that the subtle advertising of drinking gets under my skin more than I would usually admit. I watch shows and someone pours a glass of wine and they don't end up forgetting the rest of the evening or find themselves in someones bed they didn't know how they got there and so on. Or if they do...it is highly amusing. which it most bloody isn't when it is you in the picture.
Anyway. The cravings come and go. I like to physically turn around and move my body in a different direction which makes my brain reset

lola Maybe one day soon excess drinking will bear the social stigma that is now attached to smoking. I would like to see that happen.

vxa I understand the meds/alcohol/depression spiral you're caught in - it's what got me started on my road to abusing alcohol 13 years ago. So many wasted years, so much hurt caused to the people I love. I wish I could go back in time, but I can't

What I can do though, for my own sake and those around me, is try my hardest not to repeat those years. In fact, if I carry on for another 13, I won't be here anyway - it will kill me. So for now, I'm just doing one day at a time.

I have been off this thread for AGES. Lost track of where we were, but have now found everyone again and will catch up. Welcome to all newbies and apologies for not having RTFT yet :)

Just wanted to share that I have to go to a party tonight at a v. trendy place and am slightly wishing I could 'join the party' and get sloshed. Have been sober for 3.5 years and know I WON'T, but am feeling slightly sorry for myself already and mourning that great feeling of everything going woozy (ahem - before it all goes totally pear-shaped later in the evening, obviously). Just wanted to get it off my chest if that makes sense!

Custard
I hear you! I think if drinking was an Olympic sport Ireland would dominate
Well it's a rainy dull day and about to do the school run so the idea of a post school run treat sounds great !

ginger, custard. My parents are Irish and I know a lot of Irish people. Out of all of them I can only think of four who don't really drink.

Custard seabiscotti
My dad used to tell an old" joke" that the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral was one less drunk"

I will have to remember that one ginger.

How was your night out BOING?

Interesting discussions about spirituality.

Morning all. :)

lola - well done for seeing your wobbly feelings about booze for what they are and coming and talking about them before anything dodgy happens. I listened to the Bubble Hour recently about relapse and there were loads of telltale signs in the lead up to actually picking up a drink; I found it really interesting. Isolation being a big part of it. Episode here In this episode one of the founders of the podcast, Ellie, talks about her relapse after 5 years (?I think) of sobriety and it almost brought me to tears. In her case it started by suddenly downing a bottle of vanilla essence, out of nowhere, that she'd had in the pantry and the "beast within" was immediately wakened.

Following on from my impassioned rant () the other day, I wondered if any of you had read the Hip Sobriety blog? Really good most recent post about "What I Do For Fun". Also a really good post recently about getting sober if you're an atheist and can not conceive of a 'higher power', since so much of recovery is focussed on spirituality being an essential component.

BOING how was the night out? I'm off out to a v trendy pop up in Peckham tonight with a group of friends and have been having similar thoughts/issues. I'm going to drive over and be unafraid to leave when I want to. I find at these very trendy places they have next to no concept of the alcohol free interesting drink option

I got a lovely PM yesterday from a lurker who wanted to thank me for my post (sniff sniff!), which I read just before heading off to court for yet more dramas with my ex. It was so nice to be told that something I'd written had helped them, and brought me back to remembering how I lurked on the Dry threads from the very first one. I didn't even think I was lurking because I had a problem, I genuinely used to think to myself "ooh I'll just click on that Dry thread to see how those problem drinkers are coping" . Until one day it hit me like a brick - maybe, just maybe, it was the alcohol holding me back in MY life.

Court yesterday went as well as could be expected. STBXH made to pay 70% of my costs as an indication of his bad conduct. The first time he's actually been reprimanded for what is now 2.5 years of non compliance etc. And so we inch forwards.....

Hi everyone

Day 3 for me. Friday is normally my "blow-out" day, where I get home from work early and drink, on my own, for a good 7-8 hours. But today I'm going shopping after work, followed by an early dinner (I don't often drink after I've eaten). Might follow that with a mani-pedi, some TV and then bed.

How does everyone else cope with Fridays/the weekends?

Teapot thanks for the link to Hip Sobriety, enjoyed reading the "Higher Power" blog.