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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is she taking the ...?

121 replies

Ana2015xx · 08/10/2015 14:47

Sorry i couldn't find anywhere else to put this.
Basically me and best friend planned trip to london for our birthdays in December.
Now the hotel is £270 and train is £160 that's for both.
I've managed to save £500 and plan on saving £500 more.
Now my friend already said not sure she will have the same as me but has turned round and said she will have £30 spending money and can't afford to pay her half of hotel or train.

What the hell.
Yet on Facebook she's uploading pics of clothes and things she's buying.
How can she think £30 in london for spends and not paying her half of money for hotel or train is okay.

OP posts:
Kym134 · 08/10/2015 14:49

Can you cancel the trip as its not fair that you pay everything!

Original poster
Ana2015xx · 08/10/2015 14:50

I could..I'm just really excited to go.
It's a shame she couldn't save anything.

OP posts:
RNBrie · 08/10/2015 14:51

Oh yeah, cancel. Do not pay for her!! Go out for a curry with the £30 she has managed to save and keep the rest for you!

Shakey15000 · 08/10/2015 14:51

Taking the major piss. I assume you're going to cancel? I absolutely would. Actually, no, I'd be happy to go on my own and watch some shows in peace

ouryve · 08/10/2015 14:52

So, she wants you to pay for her hotel and train fare? Was she under the impression that you'd fork out a couple of hundred quid for her, just like that.

Cancel. She shouldn't have planned on it if she couldn't pay for it.

slugseatlettuce · 08/10/2015 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

antimatter · 08/10/2015 14:52

She expects you to paycfor her trip so that she can shop. I eould cancel.

overthemill · 08/10/2015 14:52

Can you go with someone else instead so you don't miss out?

Original poster
Ana2015xx · 08/10/2015 14:54

I'm not sure anyone else would be able to come with other commitments (young kids and work etc).
I'm thinking I could just stick it all on my credit card and pay it off over a few months but it's the principle.

OP posts:
Shakey15000 · 08/10/2015 14:54

And tell her that £30 will just about pay for 4 glasses of wine in central London, if you're lucky.

grassisgreenersometimes · 08/10/2015 14:55

I would explain to her that you are not willing to pay for all the hotel and travel and either cancel or go with someone else.

She is taking the mick and its not something that a good friend should do.

Original poster
Ana2015xx · 08/10/2015 14:55

I'm scrimping and saving and not going out with other friends to save and it's a bit annoying.

OP posts:
Shakey15000 · 08/10/2015 14:55

No WAY pay for her!!! You will, quite rightly, resent every penny you spend. And I doubt you'd see a penny back. Don't be a mug Thanks

FishOn · 08/10/2015 14:56

OP do not pay for her!!! She's a cheeky cow

Original poster
Ana2015xx · 08/10/2015 14:59

She has just recently had a miscarriage and I don't want to upset her.
She is really looking forward to going away.
I'm stuck between feeling like a mug and trying to support her through her bad times.
( although I always help her out with money..she got paid today and asked to lend £5 from meHmm)

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 08/10/2015 14:59

If she was genuine and really hard up i would.But shes out spending the money she should be saving,i would just cancel or get someone else to go with you.She just seeing you wiht £££ in her eyes.Dont let her use you.

squidzin · 08/10/2015 15:01

If all she can afford is £30 politely find something else you can both do locally for that price.
Cinema and drinks?

I wouldn't pay for someone else's trip to fancy-town!

dustarr73 · 08/10/2015 15:02

And as bad as her having the miscarriage,dont let her use that so that you pay.If you are always subbing her [and buy the sounds of it you are] stop.The money it would cost you to pay for her you would be better going away for Christmas or New Year on that.

Original poster
Ana2015xx · 08/10/2015 15:02

We go out every Friday and I pay for tea as well.
Last week I paid for her to get her hair done(she said after miscarriage she felt awful and needed a cheer up)then we went in Topshop and she picked up a top and asked if I would stick it on cc and I did.

OP posts:
squidzin · 08/10/2015 15:03

Tell her you are more than happy to treat her and cheer her up but it's your birthday too, and you could do with not blowing £££ on her for your birthday.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 08/10/2015 15:03

no no no just no why on earth would she think you are going to pay for both of you? just cancel and shop online for lots of new goodies or go on your own and have fun. no way pay for this 'friend' tough that she's had a bad time but to be looking forward to going away on you is just wrong. tell her sorry can't pay for her and if this upsets her then she really is not a friend.

Original poster
Ana2015xx · 08/10/2015 15:04

Last year I never even got a birthday card Hmm

OP posts:
squidzin · 08/10/2015 15:04

"user" comes to mind.

FluffyPersian · 08/10/2015 15:04

Why don't you let HER come up with the solution?

'Sorry to hear you're not going to be able to pay your half - I'm not going to be able to pay for everything so what would you suggest?'

At least when you get an answer, you'll know what you're dealing with.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 08/10/2015 15:04

she is taking you for a mug, why don't you just get doormat tattooed on your forhead