How effing nice is *this*?

[GiraffeGotTheLastRoomInTheInn]

I am suffering quite badly from what the doctor today described as 'one of the worst cases of tonsillitis I have EVER seen'.

I feel like I am dying, I haven't eaten ANYTHING for four days and am struggling to swallow my own saliva, let alone drink anything.

And dp has....

wait for it.....

gone to stay with his parents 'so he doesn't catch it', only returning home to collect ironed shirts and (admittedly only once) ask if I could just make him some lunch.

My mum has been helping me out with dd this week, thank goodness, but she is going away tomorrow so i have got to cope with dd all by myself.

So he says to me on the phone tonight

'I'm going climbing straight from work tomorrow.Don't suppose you fancy it, do you? No? Oh well I'll speak to you over the weekend then and see if you're better.'

What f***ng world does he live in?

Do you know, I feel like telling him I am better and ready to give him a celebratory blow job, then when he comes rushing home, give him a big snog, making sure my tonsils come into contact with his....

And then leave him on his own for a fucking week in HIS hour of need.

Well expat, Giraffe does say it's over, and after the way he's behaved I think I'd also be hoping he got ill.

It's actually relatively rare on MN that someone comes on and says I'm being treated like dirt by DH/DP, and we all say ffs that's awful, dump him girlfriend, and they say "You know what I think I will". Usually it's "ooooh but he's alright really, and I don't want to be on my own". Giraffe sounds as if she can and will stand up for herself about this and hats off to her I say.

Agree with Snowleopard, Giraffe is not a doormat, she is just biding her time in sorting out a difficult and upsetting situation.
TBH I'd not dump the son of a woman who bought me Hobs boots just before Christmas either

Apologies that last comment was tasteless

Thanks girls.

You know what, this has been brewing for a few months anyway-I've been thinking vaguely about whether the good outweighs the bad etc.

And this was the last straw.

I have actually told him today that I want a trial sort of separation (I know we're not married but YKWIM) and he's not coming home tonight, but will be coming to look after dd while i am working, as i work nights.

I still won't do anything like end stuff totally until after Christmas, for the reasons I have already mentioned.

I have spoken to him on the phone tonight about Christmas presents (who do we still need to buy for, what have you got so and so, etc,), and we had a chat and a laugh on the phone so you can see why I am quite capable of keeping stuff under my hat for a bit- we're not spitting feathers at each other all the time, we actually get on very well most of the time.

I think it will be fine to bide my time with him not being here much, when I do see him/speak to him, his selfishness won't be forefront because I will not have just have had to deal with it.

Oh- and I was only joking about him being ill (if that's what expat meant- although from what she said I would have thought she agreed with me!

It was a joke, FWIW.

If he knows you're moving on, well, c'est la vie.

He sounds too selfish to be in a serious relationship, at any rate.

I mean, can't be there for your ill girlfriend is pretty low.

Maybe you'll meet someone else on holiday .

I did!

Strangely- the friend was an ex boyfriend. I never thought I would be getting relationship advice off an ex!

Strangely- the friend was an ex boyfriend. I never thought I would be getting relationship advice off an ex!

Hey, why not? Talking w/him helped you clarify things, made you feel better about it all, and in a way, sort of move on in your own mind.

He had a use, this ex .

I'll never forget this convo between two climbing buddies:

Tomaz: Nate, man, are you a little off today?

Nate: Yeah, man, my girlfriend broke up w/me last night.

Tomaz [after a moment or two of silent reflection] [response given in a lovely Czech accent]: Good. Now you will have more time to climb.

he rang to see how I was, as he had heard from a mutual friend that i was ill.

So even my ex cared more than my partner, evidently.

Oh, yes, the ol' network. I forgot about that.

Unfortunately, that's how I found out some people I knew had died.

I stopped also b/c I have known, personally, and climbed w/, five people who died climbing or en route.

And NOT novices.

lol at convo with czech climber, expat.

Sadly, it's not usually novices who die, though, i would have thought, because they are normally toproping so not taking the same risks.

I witnessed a horrendous fall and subsequent mountain rescue at the Roaches last summer, and the guy was paralysed. Which, some would say, was worse than dying.

oh but ex wasn't a climber, he just knows someone I still see. Maybe thats why he had enough compassion to call?

Yes, a climbing pal would only have phoned to find out if you were back from your Sat. day trip .

'How'd it go? Is it formed up yet? What are conditions like?'

lol