May I ask a question?

[gaafan]

Hello. I am a gentleman of 33, single for just a touch under a year. If you do not object I would be very happy if you could answer a question from a female perspective. I am weighing up whether to ask a woman out for a coffee. She works in a place I go to to socialise. We've exchanged pleasantries and nothing more, although I suspect she has noticed I am frequenting her establishment with increasing regularity. So, the question. If you were asked out by a man whom you were not interested in getting to know further (just looking at the worst case scenario) in an unthreatening manner and environment, is there any harm done to you as the person receiving the invite? In other words would I be putting the other person unintentional ly in a difficult position should they for whatever reason need to decline, or as I perhaps naively hope, would what I hope is a warm feeling of being flattered still be there if you don't fancy the person who asked you out . Apologies for a mealy-mouthed post but really Id love to hear what you think.

If you don't ask you wont know so go for it.

I don't understand some of the rude responses the OP is getting? I say go for it! Be respectful about it but also be yourself, if you usually speak like you have in your OP then do that. Don't let people put you off being you. She might enjoy your way with words!

Last few responses were really helpful sincere thanks. I am heading to the place now with my sister. It's not a coffee place, its a pub, family friendly kind of place. I will ask her but only if it's appropriate. Place may be busy. Will post outcome if there is one.

Good luck :)

She said yes :) Thanks for those who made understanding comments

Congratulations. Nothing ventured and all that.

Wow gaafan, that's brilliant. I am so pleased for you.
Will you let us know how the date went?

Nice one.

Ah so pleased for you! Kept checking back to see what the outcome was. Let us know how the date goes!

This is lovely! Good luck to you OP, please do let us know how you get on because I would love to be that bold

Fantastic! Thanks for updating us

The luck of the Irish. How many times have you kissed the Blarney Stone, gaafan?

This guide should enable you to charm the pants off her www.wikihow.com/Be-Chivalrous but I suggest you keep your little leprachaun under wraps until she asks to see it

Have you swallowed 'Irish stereotypes for dummies' goddess?

Well I haven't usually been bold in the past but let's just say I've become painfully aware of the preciousness of life this year. It isn't easy to put yourself out there, not for me anyway, and I would just ask that people be kind to each other.
goddess I did kiss the stone once! You have to bend backwards to do it. As your username has some errm relevance to me iyswim leprechauns will be most certainly kept under wraps :)

I hope you have a lovely date. Gives me a happy warm glow.

:) Ah, that's lovely that she said yes!

I'm very pleased too. Especially that you weren't put off my the pointlessly arsey comments.
I kissed the Blarney Stone once. It's bloody tricky, but once you've queued for that long, you may as well!
I met the love of my life a while later, so I'd say it probably works!
Wishing you a fabulous date!

Agree with posters above. I'm sure she was delighted. Now go find an original place to go and charm her :)

Pocket do you have a dp?
quite harsh I think

Upside down kissing? As you sound particularly limber eloquent I doubt you'll displease in any way, gaafan. When's the big night?

Have I swallowed ISFD, Arsenic? Let me see... (fumbles through umpteen boxes of potions and pills).. nope, but I am inordinately curious about folklore and the origin of national symbols and must remember to refer to them more often on these boards.

My OP was very badly expressed and I deserved criticism for it, accepted. But I didn't agree with people saying it was akin to harassment or offensive. This is what pushed me to go out tonight though as I remembered she works Sundays, so thank you to all those people too. I didn't just think about looks, I've seen the way she interacts with people and she's brilliant, warm and friendly and when I was there with a friend who had a small child she made a special effort and walked the child around outside where there are farm animals to look at. She's great and I also really respect the way she's learned English so perfectly, better than me (she is from central Europe, prefer to be non specific to protect identities) and got on really well with 2 jobs. Goddess we are going out Thursday night and I will try to remember to post back. If it is a first and last date, so be it, I'm looking forward to getting to know her better. Love and good wishes to all(except the party animals next door keeping me awake)

She sounds lovely, gaafan, and I hope this is the start of something good for both of you - perhaps you'll take her to kiss the Blarney Stone one day and she'll take you to Dracula's castle.

I haven't visited Blarney Castle but I read that at one time it was necessary to be held by the ankles upside down over the battlements (and a sheer drop) in order to plant a smacker on the renowned Stone. If that's still the case, I'll pass on acquiring the gift of the gab.

If you don't report back I shall set a Cornish piskey onto your leprachaun.

Well done OP. May the road rise up to meet you etc

When's the date OP?

I hope all goes well on your date, gaafan

It's on Thursday according to ^ upthread, scatter.