i am a 'mistress',,,,dont shout at me please

[faeriemum]

i met my DP 3 years ago, there was an immediate attraction. i knew he was with someone though.
i was a few weeks preggers at the time (no longer with father) ...
nothing happened for 2.8 years, we talked alot as he works on the buses so i saw him most days......he asked me 4 months ago to go to the cinema with him...i was very flattered and really liked him, so i went.........we started an affair.... i love him more then anyone i have ever known.....and he tells me he feels the same....all the time!
he is living with his partner and has sworn there is no romance there and have not slept with her for over a year......
...he was telling me he was moving in before christmas......its got closer and no sign of it.......he told me he was going to talk with her last night because he'd had enough and wanted to be with me............that didnt happen...
he 'cant' talk to me weekends because she's always around........i really hate the hiding and cant emotionally take anymore.
i've told him this and he begged me to hold on for just a while longer because he cant be without me.......i do believe he loves me.....but feel its all too much.
i love him , and am very scared of not being 'with' him......do i give him altermatem (sp?) , hold on or end it?

Faeriemum, please, please forget him. I agonised over a guy for a long time. There was no affair involved, though I guess there could have been. I opened my heart and soul to him and almost foolishly betrayed my husband for him. I really thought that there could be something more meaningful between us because he talked the talk iykwim. I feel such a fool for practically claiming my undying love for him, I know now that it was so stupid and he would never have meant anything more to me than just being a friend. I would love to salvage our relationship on a "friends" only basis but today I have chosen to forget that also. My marriage is more important than something that never had any substance.

Somebody once described love as "knowing that the other person loves you back"

If he loves you, he'll do anything for you.

Are you really sure 100% that he loves you?

you'll all scream at me i know...i must be feking mad.......but i love him and i really 100% know that he loves me too......
he left her yesterday, told her everything.....he wants me ....

there are probably lots of reasons why i need my head testing, many have already been pointed out.......but he's proved to me that its serious and i trust that.
as for him possibly cheating on me somewhere down the line.....i'm willing to risk it......although i will be very aware of any signs...... i trust him for now and thats enough for me
ok..im ready for the screams now............

someone very close to me is a "mistress" to a married man. She does not want him to leave the wife though. She is having a great time and he spoils her rotton.

They don´t even live in the same county as each other

they're not married..... i imagine she is feeling really rotton, i do feel bad for her, im not a complete unfeeling monster

I'm not going to scream at you, he has left his partner, they have no children and he has released her from an empty relationship where there was lies and deceit. She can now go on to find someone to love her properly.
You just have to make sure that your relationship remains free of lies and deceit. I wish you well.

what carmenere said ..she said it more sensitively than i could.

hmm not going to scream at you, but where is he staying now?

oh faeriemum, how hard for you

I dunno what to say

do you care that he almost certainly is still shagging his wife, and that he will never leave her? And that he's probably lying to you?

you say

"i've told him this and he begged me to hold on for just a while longer because he cant be without me.......i do believe he loves me.....but feel its all too much. "

could you perhaps wait, then?

And how do you feel about dong this to another woman?

Only you know the answers. If you actually don't care that he is probably lying through his teeth (sorry) and screwing someone else both over and literally then...fine. But don't go believing him, especially about the sex part.

(am not judging you at all btw. Some relationships do start in this way. Its not nice but...it happens)

you'll all scream at me i know...i must be feking mad.

Er, yep

......but i love him and i really 100% know that he loves me too......

You're deluded frankly if you think that he thinks that much of you.

he left her yesterday, told her everything.....he wants me ....

Were you there, how do you know its because of you and he wants you?.

there are probably lots of reasons why i need my head testing, many have already been pointed out.......but he's proved to me that its serious and i trust that.

Hmmm. You cannot think very much of yourself if all you think you deserve from a relationship is having someone else's leftovers.

as for him possibly cheating on me somewhere down the line.....i'm willing to risk it......although i will be very aware of any signs...... i trust him for now and thats enough for me

Oh god, there's no helping you is there?. Why do you think so little of yourself that you are willing to risk your own self being cheated on by this idiot. You perhaps will not recognise the signs; he has learnt from this and will be more cautious in future.

ok..im ready for the screams now............
Sorry but you're weak.