Hubby not loving the pregnant bod

[Bluewombler2k]

Probably not a biggy in the scheme of things but I'm 29 weeks pregnant and dh told me last night that he doesn't find me attractive anymore. We'd had a semi romantic night as my son was with his dad elsewhere, had a bath together and chilled out after chatting. Eventually went to bed, and I was thought, 'hey, we're going to dtd, that will be nice' but he just laid there. Asked him what was wrong and he told me he just didn't feel like doing it. I asked him if he still fancied me and he said no, I felt gutted and completely crap, but he just turned over and went to sleep.
I think my question is, do I just ignore what he said and put it down to me being pregnant and it making him feel a bit funny about sex, or am I right to be worried that this could be a real issue? I honestly feel absolutely gutted and ugly now, but don't want to spend the next 4 months stressing about it if the general consensus is it's just him reacting to my pregnancy and others have been through this before and then it was all back to normal after having their babies? Thanks in advance, any advice would be gratefully recieved!

I'm speechless - your 'd' h is such a Grade A arsehole.

And yes, I think there are deeper issues here, and they're not yours...

I will try to explain why I feel this is wrong.

True love isn't dependent on the flatness of your stomach, or the smoothness of your skin. People should love you for the person that you are, not the container you came in.

True love for the person should endure illness, disability, greying hair, stiffer joints, middle aged spread, cataracts - whatever time brings.

Because true love should see, and be attracted to, the person inside, not the container which will be dust eventually.

Get rid of this superficial man who doesn't think the bump of his baby makes you even more beautiful, and find someone who appreciates you.

I have to say in fairly speechless too. Is he always such an arsehole?

Jesus, what an asshole. I would seriously wonder why I was married to someone like that. This is a real issue and I wouldn't ignore it.

Jesus - what a complete fucking immature twat. My husband went off me too when I was pregnant (he tried to make love with me but with all four pregnancies went soft), but he got upset about it and sat down with me like the adult he is and explained what was going on his his head. He did NOT just bluntly tell me I was no longer attractive then just roll over and go to sleep! Your partner needs to man the fuck up and talk to you like an adult.

well, he's a piece of work, isn't he ?

I'm actually speechless . What a horrible man you have there!

Wow, he's a real charmer hey?

What sort of man looks at his pregnant wife and says that? I'm speechless.
What the hell is he going to be like when you are recovering from the birth?
I'm sorry you are married to such a bastard.

Charming !

A lot of men go off sex when their OHs are pregnant but it's usually because of things like the mum to be is feeling shit or he's scared to hurt the baby or he's worried that the OH isn't feeling like it etc etc .

But when it's a case of , your stomach ain't flat anymore so now I don't fancy you and don't care if that hurts your feelings , that's just horrible ! You're dh is being a dick, sorry !

My husband has gone off sex too during my pregnancy. We've talked about it though. He says it's because he's worried about hurting the baby, even though he knows it won't.

I was really upset about it at first, but now (I'm 36 weeks) I don't really mind. I have told him he'll have to man up and dtd on my due date if baby hasn't made an early arrival by then because I don't enjoy being pregnant and want this parasite baby out of me asap so I can enjoy being a mum...

Wow, he sounds like a Grade A dick! I'm not sure whether some men finding pregnancy a turn off is normal or not, but in my own experience my DP is always rubbing my bump, he loves my slightly bigger boobs (and slightly fatter arse) and hasn't gone off sex at all either time I've been pregnant. So, in my experience, your DHs attitude is bizarre.

He may well go back to "normal" once you've had the baby but his attitude towards you would turn me off forever.

Wow. . What everyone else says. Sorry.

total grade A cunt, sorry.

He sounds horrible op

Lots of men and women go off sex for various reasons when the woman is pregnant, but saying he doesn't fancy you and then turning over and going to sleep makes him a complete cock.

Nothing to do with your gorgeous swelling tum, he's just a horrible cunt, plain and simple.

He's a complete dick. I'd turf his sorry shallow arse out.

i realise it doesn't sound great on the face of it, but if he's otherwise a good guy, perhaps the real issue is concern around the baby/hurting you etc, and his dumb reflex reaction of "i dont fancy you" was hiding his true feelings, which he may fear seem silly/unfounded.

i'd say have a good chat with him, let him know you were a bit hurt, and give him a chance to explain himslef

good luck

this is going to be unanimous

some men struggle with pregnant bodies, but if they have any common sense, respect and plain ole humanity they keep their big fucking mouth shut about it

yes, I can see how that might be an easy slip of the tongue

"I am frightened to hurt the baby" morphs quite easily into "I don't fancy you"

not

Yes completely agree that some men don't find the PG form attractive. Nothing new in that and not their fault.
But he should never, ever have said this to you. That's very spiteful.

I had the opposite problem, DP loved my pregnant body, my libido went out the window!

Wow OP, how shite is that? I am utterly shocked by his lack of..what..tact? Brain cell more like it! What an utter utter prick! I would seriously question my future with this bloke unless ever other damn thing was perfection itself and then some but even then, next time the bog lid is left up - Blammo - out the door!

My DP got to a stage where he too didn't want to have sex as he could see or feel the baby wriggling as he held me and the whole thing made him feel weird.

I didn't mind as I was quite far gone by then and had other stuff on my mind. He never EVER said he found me unattractive though and was the most amazing birthing partner I could have asked for.

Plus has coped with our three miscarriages and two years TTC and now I'm pregnant again is just so kind to me and thoughtful and loving. It's suchba shame that some guys can't see what a bloody miracle pregnancy is.

Wow, I honestly thought I would be told I was being over-sensitive so thanks for the replies, makes me feel a bit better! He has a real problem with discussing things if something isn't right, he literally clams up and shuts down rather than talk things over, which completely does my head in. Usually (apart from this) he is lovely, he's excited about the baby and rubs the bump when we are watching tv and stuff, it's just in the bedroom that he seems to turn into an insensitive arse. I can understand some men being worried about hurting the baby or feeling more protective than sexual, but like you have all said, at least they are willing to talk! Not sure where to take this with him now, as I know he will build a wall if I bring it up again (I know this is wrong but there is f all I can do when he does) but at the same time I don't want to feel like a massive blob until my body is back to normal. Just bought myself a mini fresh cream victoria sandwich from Greggs which I'm going to scoff now, fuck it. Don't think I will attempt the bikini line either, no point in nearly breaking my neck trying to do it if that's the way he is going to be!