Don't know whether to laugh or cry. Haven't got round to blocking her email yet because going by past history I thought it would be weeks if not months before she sent another one. Anyway she's sent one today....a long one!
To you both,
I don't know if this is worth the candle as I am likely to come under attack from one or both of you yet again. That seems to be your mutual default attitude towards me. However, I wish to ensure there are no errors in what seem to be your assumptions relating to my actions or motives.
J
• I requested various items of you in Dec 2014 to be returned to me. You did not ackowledge such. You did not tell me until much later (april 2015) you had given these items to P in Dec 2014.
• I asked P again Easter 2015 to get these items from you - she did not tell me she already had them. She stated there "could be a problem - I think he can't find the file". At no point did she admit she in fact had the file by then - & clearly did not know where it was. So she blamed you. I can't prove this of course - I was t told verbally.
• I emailed you April 2015 to locate this file
• You then visited P - & later told me you located the file on P's bookcase.
• You then sent an email accusing me of trouble making by accusing you of losing the file - when in fact you had given it to P in Dec - but not bothered to tell me...
• After Easter 2015 P then later gave me the items - but you had sent the wrong keys. I told you back in April the key set was wrong - when, (and only then), P passed them to me. (Your recent email indicates "bemusement" re wrong keys - clearly you have forgotten my April email telling you they were the wrong ones).
• You did not acknowledge my April 2015 request to dispose of any keys you still had securely - a reasonable cause of concern to me. I therefore requested August 2015 confirmation you had done so.
• You then told me to ask P for the keys.....but informed me "I" was not talking to her. Totally untrue - I pointed out had I sent her thanks re May birthday card, but have since been ignored by P. Am I now to assume she is not talking to me? (She ignores emails so I will send this as hard copy to ensure she gets it).
I wish to comment on the above facts:
• At no time have I set out to make trouble. That is a lie. I never have.
• Had you kept me informed of your actions re items you were to return none of this confusion would have arisen. You caused the confusion - not me.
• P accused you, to me, of losing the file - I merely asked you to find it, having been daft enough to believe her accusation of you. I had not anticipated her lying to me.
P has not admitted to accusing you wrongly re lost file to me. She has ignored it. (I wonder if she has apologised to you....).
• P also left copies of the late-2014 email exchange between you/me, into which she was copied and which she nastily annotated.
She stated "I have put this behind me & am not pursuing it".
Clearly, from the annotated emails she accidentally left in the file she was doing anything but "ignoring it". There are downright lies in those comments. There are phrases there attributed to me I have never used in my life.
Are you therefore surprised at my distance? I fear what one or other of you will twist next.
J: You told me (re card asking S re liking his birthday jumper) to "Go away & leave us alone". I did that - until I of necessity I had to pursue my file & keys - twice re wrong keys sent - because you could not be bothered to update me on these issues. Re-contacting you is entirely your own fault, not mine.
Have you asked P why she told me YOU had lost the file?
Have you read the annotations on her email copy - you should.
P: I imagine you are severely embarrassed re deliberately misleading me by telling me J had lost the file - when you had in fact lost it! Have you told J the truth? The failure re file + failure to hold the items J gave you for 4 months (Dec 2014 > April 2015) has caused endless confusion & caused J to make untrue allegations of me re shit stirring over file. That is your fault.
You must be equally embarrassed by the content of your comments on those emails. In your place I would be cringing to make such dreadful & untrue allegations.
Have you apologised to J for accusing him of losing the file? You should - & also to me for misleading me - knowing it caused him to lash out wrongly at me.
Have you apologised to him & me for waiting 4 months (Dec to April) & not passing to me the items he had given you? You should.
BOTH of YOU: All this is based on lack of timely informative contact by both of you. It has been your default position, quite wrongly to assume my actions etc are motivated by evil. You are quite wrong. Neither of you has bothered to phone or visit & discuss this - so it has blown up into crazy proportions, & got warped & twisted by cover-ups and misleading, untrue remarks.
Are you surprised I fear you both?
Are you surprised I feel bullied & attacked by you?
Are you surprised I feel discarded, unwanted, seen as a stupid old fool of no consequence to you?
Unless you stop making wild assumptions etc it is impossible to discuss with you confusions - invariably of your making. Everyone has disagreements – invariably based on misunderstandings. Most do not though come to the table with wild assumptions (that they are right) & minds already made up, to sit in judgment & dictate terms – as you did J.
You owe basic courtesy & respect to any human being - I don't even get that. You gang up on me, distort the truth and then have the temerity to allege I am not contacting you (P especially). Untrue. I last contacted you P - with my card thanks. You have ignored me.
And J has told me to leave him alone. Again, I was utterly misjudged re that conversation over diet with T. Your default is to call me the liar. Time will reveal the truth.
You need to look for motives re your wild assumptions. Motive + gain. What on earth can I gain from this? Nothing – except freedom from the stress you cause.
You do gain of course - you now have the excuse, self-given, to not bother about my existence. I'm out of your hair aren't I – by your own choice? You can tell yourselves you need not make the old perfunctory “duty” contacts - few & brief that they generally were. One way of stifling one’s conscience I suppose.
If you want to honestly face up to what you have done to me, based essentially on guessed at data, out of context, by a juvenile, blown out of all proportion & employing mad assumptions then you need to start talking – face to face.
Remember the truth:
You J cut me off J.
You P are trying to pretend I have cut you off – because you are too ashamed to face me.
I don’t play childish, immature “not going to talk to you” games. That belongs in the playground & I left that behind long ago. It is not how adults behave.