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Original poster

1 month old too young for football?

284 replies

charlottetrip · 30/07/2015 09:26

I don't know if I've posted this in the right place, but any way.
My bf wants to take our 4 week old baby to football match on Saturday. I think this is far to young to be going. However when I expressed my feelings it was if I was being irrational and over worrying for not letting him go.
I'd just like to know other people's thoughts?

OP posts:
Jdee41 · 31/07/2015 21:30

The baby is a boy. I knew it. This is about the father wanting father/son footy bonding time. I bet you anything he wouldn't bother if it was a girl. This is about the Dad romanticising the "That'sMyBoy" father/son football thing.

And how on earth do you know that? Do you know the father at all? I have daughters and I love watching football and rugby with them.

IamaBluebird · 31/07/2015 23:46

Took my baby to lots of games. Snuggled in a blanket. Common sense is all that's needed.

Rowgtfc72 · 01/08/2015 08:14

I took DD to her first match at six weeks old. Bf morning and night so had bottle for the afternoon. She went every week as I had a season ticket, sometimes dh would come and get her at half time. She went to her first England game at wembly at six months. She slept, fed, looked around a bit. Used disabled facilities for changing.
Agree with pp,just use common sense.

BertrandRussell · 01/08/2015 08:16

"The baby is a boy. I knew it. This is about the father wanting father/son footy bonding time. I bet you anything he wouldn't bother if it was a girl. This is about the Dad romanticising the "That'sMyBoy" father/son football thing."

And even if it is, why is that such a bad thing?

TheForger · 01/08/2015 08:36

Agree with BertrandRussell on the bonding thing, why is it a bad thing? One of the lovely things about being a parent is introducing them to things that you love (skiing, WWII movies starring Richard Burton). It doesn't mean he won't do it with any further children.

Offred · 01/08/2015 08:52

I think they meant that a dad taking 'that's my boy' to the football where he wouldn't take a daughter is horribly sexist.

I learned about sexism mainly through being a female doing a primarily 'male' hobby with my dad. When I started going through puberty at around 12 then grown men where variants of embarrassed to talk to me or pervy. It made me very sad.

It's a different objection about perpetuating sexist stereotypes.

TheForger · 01/08/2015 09:03

That is making a big assumption about the father, it doesn't mean that they won't take further children and the OP hasn't made any comments to support it. Yes some men may do that but not all. Girls play on our school football team and are supported by both parents at matches, training etc.

Offred · 01/08/2015 09:07

Yeah, which is why I didn't post it. I don't think it is difficult to understand the point the pp was making though Hmm

TheForger · 01/08/2015 09:13

I know you didn't but this is a forum for discussion, so I was discussing it. No it isn't difficult to understand but it is sexist assumption in itself.[hmmm]

TheForger · 01/08/2015 09:14

Oops smiley fail

Offred · 01/08/2015 09:16

Well, I'm not sure feigning ignorance about what someone means counts as discussing it.

TheForger · 01/08/2015 09:22

Its not feigning ignorance it's questioning it. 'I bet you anything he wouldn't if it was a girl' is not making a point, it's a sexist assumption.

Offred · 01/08/2015 09:25

why is it a bad thing?

Is feigning ignorance. For the love of God, as with Bertrand, just say you think it's a sexist assumption to say he's only doing it cos it's his son.

TheForger · 01/08/2015 09:26

I just did.

Jdee41 · 01/08/2015 09:33

I would say it's an extremely offensive, sexist and ignorant assumption to make that a dad wouldn't take his daughter to the football.

Offred · 01/08/2015 09:33

Well yeah, but in the first place just say. It's petty and passive aggressive to do the feigning ignorance routine.

Offred · 01/08/2015 09:35

I would say it's an extremely offensive, sexist and ignorant assumption to make that a dad wouldn't take his daughter to the football.

Yep to assume. But not all that unreasonable to ask if that's what is going on since it does still frequently happen.

This is why I hate the feigning ignorance thing. Whoever explains the comment gets lynched by people who object to it.

You all knew what was meant by it. No need to pretend you need it explained.

Joysmum · 01/08/2015 09:36

How can anyone make a judgement on whether a man they don't know is a sexist.

This is why I loathe it when sexism comes up as a topic on here as it can only be discussed in the abstract.

I had some fab bonding time with my dad at football, cricket and darts and many other situations considered male orientated. My daughter has come with me to various motor racing events. That's normal to me and the men in my life are cherished.

I'm sick of women tarring men with the same brush and making assumptions about people they don't know and belittling men. its demening to women.

Jdee41 · 01/08/2015 09:39

The baby is a boy. I knew it. This is about the father wanting father/son footy bonding time. I bet you anything he wouldn't bother if it was a girl. This is about the Dad romanticising the "That'sMyBoy" father/son football thing.

Not much room for interpretation in that. The poster wasn't 'asking' anything but making an ignorant statement.

Offred · 01/08/2015 09:46

That's my point. It's obvious. I agree it's also sexist to assume he is doing it because the baby is a boy but the whole feigning ignorance thing manipulates the conversation so that it is impossible to even ask whether that's going on without looking unreasonable and sexist.

furryleopard · 01/08/2015 09:52

My DD went to rugby for the first time when she was 3 months, she would have been younger but she was born in the close season. Our ground is shared by a Championship football team, there are baby change facilities away from the toilets and accessible by all. She has a pair of baby banz ear defenders because the tannoy can be a bit tinny. She also has a shirt and a knitted (by Grandma) hat in team colours. We sit in a quiet area with other families that have children, we wait to leave till its not too busy, it's absolutely fine. DD is fine, I have happily breastfed her there.

We take her because rugby is our family pursuit, we all go. She kind of has no choice in the same way as I had no choice as a baby and my DH when I met him had no choice.

I think it's good that your DP wants to share something he enjoys with his DC (if your DP is like mine he'd be equally showing off a daughter at football?). You can warn him from me though you don't see a second of the match once they're big enough to not sleep in the sling!

Jdee41 · 01/08/2015 09:52

But the blame in that case should lie with the poster who made that comment, which was unreasonable and sexist, and drew those responses.

Offred · 01/08/2015 09:55

Yes.

So just say to the poster of that comment - 'I think you are being totally unreasonable'

The feigning ignorance thing is irritating and goady.

Jdee41 · 01/08/2015 09:56

There's nothing wrong with asking the poster to justify their comment.

Offred · 01/08/2015 09:57

Agreed.