DRY 8!!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

thanks Cheesy for your kind words. Just back from a counselling session which was invaluable. Actually was smiling when I left! So no am not beating myself up and I will not drink today. Aiming for a bubble bath and hot choc later and cuddle up with a book that I'm enjoying at the mo.

yes ready there was a very significant trigger which, with the help of my excellent counsellor, I can see things a little more clearly now as to what may be a deep rooted problem for me.

well done pink on your firm resolve.
onwards and upwards!

Afternoon everyone!

yellow I'm really glad your counseling session was productive and has helped to stave off any feelings that might have stopped you from seeing last night as just a blip. I hope you have a nice relaxing evening later.

ready I can understand you feeling trepidation at being on your own tonight. I have not been home alone myself either since my own blip last week. Although my husband does not know I am weaning (I'd rather just tackle it on my own at the moment and I'm not drinking at home), just having him here gives me a lot of strength and determination. Something else you said really resounded with me - when you recounted how your celebration evening could have gone. Totally get it. Also, getting rid of bottles in public bins. I've lost count of how many times I've skulked around doing that

pink sounds like you have your head in the right place for the weekend!

cheesy I'm trying to convince DH to see Trainwreck next week. Another evening filled!!

salem - did you get to AA?

lucy It's not quite Day 1 today.

On the subject of weaning/tapering, it's going well. Well enough that I should have stopped altogether today. I have had something cause me a wobble today though which is making me anxious and in turn is making me feel that Day 1 might be as late as Saturday. Am annoyed and accepting about that in equal measure to be honest. But I'm mainly anxious and that is feeling horribly familiar and unpleasant

I'm not going to let it derail me though, a drink won't make it any better or any easier! But a decision must be made by tomorrow and I don't feel ready.

On a positive note, I had a really good session at the gym this morning. Amazing the difference a week of not 'drinking' does. It's not only not having a system overwhelmed with alcohol but that I am eating better, I no where near as dehydrated and I am sleeping ok.

Thanks pink for the reminder (slight name change here!) and yes, well done you - am starting to think that maybe it's almost impossible for anyone who drinks 'normally' to understand although am not surprised at by the annoyed part of you...

How are you doing yellow - hope you are nicely cuddled up with your book now - am watching the TV cuddle equivalent and catching up with GBBO!

Had to steal myself earlier today to not buy booze. Remembered cheesy's line "I have spent years sinking myself under the weight of alcohol...' and walked on.

Which means it is day 14 here. Am a little bit jealous of your good sleeps tang - am falling asleep easily and it's lovely but am struggling to get back to sleep if I wake up in the night... despite that still have bags more energy. Hopefully the sleep will sort itself out, do any old hands know if this is unusual or not???

Last here with a quick nc. Just spent the evening strengthening all my passwords on everything, tres excitement. I'll never remember them without my little notebook now!

Sympathise Lucy, moving house is so stressful and something you're not used to doing without a drink. Not surprising the cravings have crept in a bit. Hope you're feeling better today and onwards and upwards - 700 days is amazing!

That sounds like a really positive counselling session yellow! Like cheesy I've had lots of slip ups but the main thing for me is picking myself up and trying again. Learning from each episode and becoming more self aware as to what our triggers are only makes us stronger and more likely to succeed the next time :)

Sounds like a fab day cheesy. It's a really nice feeling, isn't it, finally starting to get and know yourself :)

Hope you're ok Tang, do you have anyone close to speak to about whatever is making you anxious?

Yay, go Pink and glad you had a good night with your dh ready

Trainwreck sounds interesting. Must google that - free night from kids ahoy tomorrow night!

Well done everyone, it's great to read the thread at the moment. :)

ready - stick with it, the sleep issues are really really normal at this stage. I found it really useful to listen compulsively to the Bubble Hour podcasts, because I always managed to find an episode to suit my mood, and always found great identification by listening to other people's stories. I still listen to one almost every night to help me drift off to sleep. Aaanyway - recently I listened to this one and found it really useful.

In my case, my sleep was a bit crap for 3-4 weeks. It was also a learning process of trying to listen to my body and follow its cues. I went to bed as early as possible, kept my life as simple as possible to try to help it (eg. no caffeine after 2pm) and tried to keep the memories alive in my mind of eg. waking at 3am after a night drinking, feeling shocking, staggering to the loo to down pints of water, and then not being able to get back to sleep and spending the small hours full of anxiety at the day that lay ahead. No matter how bad the early sobriety lack of sleep is.... it isn't that...

Day 391 here.

14 days is fantastic ready. My sleep took months to settle down but I've always been a light sleeper and a) I co-sleep with a restless toddler and b) I stopped smoking a few weeks after stopping drinking so that mucked up my sleep too. I now sleep like the dead though unless (a) kicks me in the face in the middle of the night Meditation music helped for me at the time and I drifted off to that many a night. Have also got into the habit of wearing earplugs which prob isn't the best one to get into.

Well done Teapot!!

Oh yes...I forgot.... I used to listen to Tara Brach meditations to help me sleep.... worked a treat.

tarabrach.com/audioarchives-guided-meditations.html

Morning all! [bounce bounce bounce]. :)

Hope everyone is well. 391 days Teapot!

I am in a joyful mood, a colleague asked to swap an AL day and so I have an unexpected day off! Huzzah! (Well, I knew a day or so ago).

I am packing a picnic, DS and heading for the beach for some rockpooling. My life has changed so much! Not so long ago a day off would have meant opening a bottle well before noon (I am ashamed to admit how far before noon......) dvds and takeaway.

You are right custard finding myself again- it is AMAZING!!! God, a decade ago I was so brave... I travelled, I always had a project on the go or a place to visit. That all got sucked out of me. I am coming back. Sigh. It's great. :)

Hope everyone is fine.

and [waves]

Morning all! I am feeling so bloomin positive! I have never ever had the self belief that I can do this but this time feels different, I am doing it!
Thanks Tangtastics had a lovely calm and relaxing evening last night. Did some mindful colouring in had a hot choc, read book, felt good. Am revisiting why I want to stop (vomit,diaorreah, lethargy etc) and the benefits I am getting so far (calmer, sleeping, no puke etc).
well done Ready on walking by. Massive pat on back from me!
You're right Custard we're so strong in picking ourselves back up. No more thinking ' why am I a failure at this' Instead thinking ' go me for trying so hard!'
teapot you have described a typical drunken evening for me to a tee. Awful doesn't come close. And you're spot on, a sober night lying awake beats a drunk one hand down.
God, how dynamic am I this morning?! Have a lovely day everyone! xx

Hello all :) Waves to new people :)

I was doing so well - Sober May, June and July and only a few blips since the start of this year :) and then I fell off the wagon big time a couple of weeks back - no excuses I just did :(

Was away from home for work and I drank just because I could - I was a bit lonely and bored and in a b and b - I stopped to buy food for an evening picnic meal in my room and I bought some wine as well. I really enjoyed it, (but had a bit of a headache the next day which rather spoilt my day off by the seaside) then after I had another day work and came home I carried on drinking :(

So ...am back to Day 1 again today after a couple of weeks where I have been drinking most days and more and more, This last week has been like the bad old days - hiding empties, sneaking bottles into the house to replace the ones I have secretly drunk ...you know the score :(

I have to stop before I go back to the full blown horror of it all.

Hi everyone x I knew this day would come good old Friday night! The first thing I wld do after work is stop at the local shop and either get 3 bottles for £10 of blossom hill or 2 bottles of Hardys Chardonnay for £9 it's been really hard not going as I could really do with an ice cold glass just feeling out of sorts I'm shattered ordered fish n chips and vegetating on the sofa x have had thoughts that I don't have a problem and I don't need help and still thinking that way tonight! Help!!!

Evening all. Good grief Huntswoman that's so cheap, no wonder it's "appealing" at the time.

Those in AA would say that it's your disease telling you that you don't have a problem. Put it this way, nearly everyone's story I've ever read who ever stopped drinking has those thoughts. I think unless you literally were sat on a park bench owning nothing but the clothes you sat in, you are able to think like that.

As Lucy on this thread has said to me, alcoholism (or problem drinking, or whatever) is an elevator ride down to absolute rock bottom. You can get off whenever you like, you do NOT need to ride that elevator all the way down to know that your life is better if you get off. It doesn't matter whether you were a daily drinker, a binge drinker, drinking a bottle of wine each time or a bottle of vodka - if drinking alcohol is NO LONGER WORKING for you, then it's time to stop. I've read - normal drinkers do not sit and worry about whether or not they need to stop drinking. I think that's true. If you think you have/had a problem, you probably do.

But that's fine. Because the secret that I am discovering is that life is just so much better without alcohol. It's been a year for me now - ex "party girl" - and I feel so much calmer, in control, etc than I ever have. I lived in fear of stopping because I thought it meant to some degree my life would feel as though it had ended. It doesn't, it really doesn't.

The early days are tough - you are rewiring your brain from bad habits into good ones and apparently it takes 90 days or something to change those pathways. You can do this yellowfloss. Post as much as you need to. You're doing a brilliant thing.

Keep being strong. I'm proud of all of you

Thanks TeapotDictator tonight I feel angry I never have had an issue with my drinking, my ex husband does however and says I'm much nicer without it and that I'm a better Mum without alcohol. My head is a complete shed tonight need to take myself to bed before ending up at the local shop

Oh how strong the call is now ... I will resist - off to do something different !

Hunts I've just read over your posts on this thread and suggest you do too, because it sounds to me as though that's the addiction talking. In earlier posts you say you have a two bottle a day habit and know you are addicted and should stop. I know it's hard in these early days, are you feeling physically okay? Can you take yourself to bed and see how you feel in the morning? Hope you're okay.

Bit sad no one has commented on my post :( But maybe not much traffic in here tonight? Feel pretty desperate tbh :(

Hey Glad , it's already quite late, why don't you get into bed and snuggle? It's a much better feeling than drinking anyway and you'll wake up in the morning feeling good

It is a bit quiet in here atm, maybe because of the hacking stuff?

I'm sorry imglad - I'm typing on my phone and missed your post somehow.

I agree with tsonly re going to bed if you can. You know you don't want to drink really, it's an illusion that ANY situation is made better with booze. You're doing a great thing by posting in here. Big hug to you.

Hunts I agree with teapot that's the addiction talking, you wouldn't have got to the point you have if you didn't believe that drinking was an issue. No-one can stop you if you don't want to but I don't think that is what you want because you wouldn't be here if it was. I have lots of moments even now (five years working on it) when I think the problem is everyone else's and I'd be just fine if they would all leave me alone to drink in peace but where would that leave me? Not just alone when I was drinking but every other day too, that's not what I want for my life.

Yes in pjs and in bed :) No drinking tonight :) Thanks for the replies :)

Sleep well lovely

You've done the right thing Glad and you'll definitely think that in those first waking moments when you have that head assessment and remember that you didn't drink Sleep well.

I hope you're feeling good and resolved today glad. Scary how quickly it creeps up on you and before you know it, it's the usual excessive drinking. Pleased you're back with us again :)

Thank you everyone who posted and mentioned me in their posts I took myself straight to bed and have woken without hangover or regret. I still have the doubts lurking in my head but I know I'm here for a reason guess I'm still fighting the denial I want to be 'normal' and have a glass of wine now and then but I know that's not me hence the whole reason im on here! I have to say you are all amazing and so glad I came on here