Do I ask him out?

[Turtletea]

What should I do? My son's best friend has a Dad who I quite fancy. He was divorced years ago and as far as I and my son's friend knows, there's no one else around. Do I ask him out, or will it just be mortally embarrassing for ever after if he declined? If so, how do I do it? Strategies please?

How old are your sons? If they're young enough why not ask hi if he fancies a day out all together over the summer and go from there?

Oh a day out! Great idea! Somewhere slightly adrenaline filled and a bit scary and then you can cosy up as he protects you! (I know, hardly taking feminism forward, but sometimes a bit of giggly girly gets you miles!)

They are 10, so can't really justify being around! I've chatted to him at school events and he seems lovely. He's not on any online dating sites - maybe he's dating and hiding it well from his son? Surely he wouldn't still be single after 8 years?

What about a theme park day out? Your boys would need supervision there and you can squeeze in on the ghost train!

I was thinking theme park. They can't do that on their own.

Do it. You might make a good friend if nothing else

Do you have reason to think the feeling is mutual? Or are you just being very brave!

We were at a school event the other night and he sat and talked to me for a while when no one else was there. When he could have gone and talked to other people we know. That's all though I'm afraid...

Well you'll have to engineer a convo abouthow you'd love to go to Alton Towers but little Jonny would love some company but it's a long way and you could do with someone to share the driving...

Why don't you ask him if his son wants to come over for an evening of x-box or whatever with your son, and the two of you can get a takeaway or you can cook for him?

Or maybe suggest a trip to the beach if you live close enough?

With the accident at Alton Towers last month I've been a bit put off theme parks TBH

Not sure my sons friend would be keen on that, he's told my son that his dad having a new partner would be the worse thing ever. I haven't got any mutual friends I can ask about the dad's single status either.

I wouldn't shit on my own doorstep. No way I'd risk the boys friendship.

How would it risk their friendship?

My DC hates me dating but has told me she wants me to be happy.

Suggest you all go out for the day ..the boys will not want you tagging along all the while so there'll be lots of time to talk.

So I can't just ask him out for a drink?

Chilli

They are 10 year old boys and it could make things awkward even if things are going well. If things aren't going well and it doesn't work out that'll definitely make it awkward. This has just happened in my daughters small friendship group and its rocked all of them.

Dating with kids is hard enough with additional complications.

Of course parents should date and live their lives but as I still wouldn't advocate shitting on your own doorstep.

"Shitting on your own doorstep"
What a horrible phrase!

Ask them both out for a theme park day or similar. See how things go.

Asking him for a drink might bugger the whole thing up

I agree with a day out invitation - to a museum or a zoo or theme park + a picnic. Preferably something that the boys are really into.

I would start with that and see how it goes. I definitely wouldn't ask him out for a drink cold because it's utterly unambiguous and if he says no, you & he are likely to be a bit embarrassed about it which may affect your parental interactions which in turn may affect your children.

Another one who detests that vile expression.

I'm going to drop off my son there for a play date on Saturday... Anything I can do to move things forward. I don't see a problem with dating him in principle, but would want to keep it very quiet from the kids for a long time.

he's told my son that his dad having a new partner would be the worse thing ever.

Oh, that strikes me as really sad :( Does his dad have full residence of him?

He has the kids 1/2 the time. Maybe the dad does have someone but keeps it very secret?

It is sad, no child gets to end the life of an adult like that. They simply can't have that kind of power.

Don't know where you are but the RAF museum, Hendon has a lot to offer a grown man as well as 10 year old boys.

Battle of Britain hall, historic aircraft, and flight simulators (ace!)

Or there's a car museum near Heathrow.

It may be that the son has had a bad experience either with a previous gf of his dad's, or his mum has a partner he doesn't like.

It is a perfectly normal emotion for a child to be jealous of their parents new partner.

You can't wrap them up in cotton wool forever..you will not be doing them any favours.

There are millions of good examples of happy blended families.