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Original poster

Do I ask him out?

130 replies

Turtletea · 22/07/2015 07:58

What should I do? My son's best friend has a Dad who I quite fancy. He was divorced years ago and as far as I and my son's friend knows, there's no one else around. Do I ask him out, or will it just be mortally embarrassing for ever after if he declined? If so, how do I do it? Strategies please?

OP posts:
LurkingQuietly · 26/07/2015 21:32

Phone him!

SnoogyWoo · 26/07/2015 21:41

I'm a man and were a simple folk. We don't pick up on the signals unfortunately so I second the asking him to do a job for you. If I got a request like that and did like you then I would jump at the chance to help. If I wasn't interested then I would politely decline. Just go for it.

ChilliAndMint · 28/07/2015 08:31

Well Turtletea, as I see it you are well and truly buggered!

You can't phone or text him and you won't see him till the end of August.

I find that really sad.

Original poster
Turtletea · 28/07/2015 11:09

Not really chiliandmint, I can wait...

OP posts:
Noneedtoworryatall · 28/07/2015 14:00

Op, I'm with my boyfriend almost a year and he is my sons best friends father. No problems, we are adults and the kids friendship comes first.

Go for it!

Cabrinha · 28/07/2015 15:36

I couldn't be waiting around for a month!!
I'm not one for waiting Grin
I think it's a great time to text actually, as a PP said you get a bit of space if he doesn't want to meet, to lick your wounds.
Perfunctory by text is fine - you don't need him to write you a sonnet back, a perfunctory "yep, drink sounds good, Sat fine - 19:00 at X Bar?"

I'd just text him. "I think I'm child free X night - woohoo! Fancy going for a drink?"

ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 28/07/2015 15:56

Ohhh I love a bit of does he, doesn't he (like me)?

You can call him, right? Just call for a bit of a chat to see how his son is doing?

Maybe he likes you back and is good at hiding it?

Original poster
Turtletea · 28/07/2015 16:28

I have never spoken to him on the phone. If it's meant to be it will wait til end August.

OP posts:
Hubbahubby · 28/07/2015 19:05

As a previously divorced dad - it's the summer holidays and a day out would suit all. For him getting the chance to get out might be just what he wants. It isn't always easy as a bloke with kids (or the other way!) I'd have jumped at the chance if only to entertain mine

Original poster
Turtletea · 28/07/2015 19:22

Ok. I will ask if he wants to come out with us at the end of August, instead of just taking his son out.

OP posts:
Granville72 · 28/07/2015 19:47

You ask for advice about how to go about it but then are happy to wait a MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!

You're bonkers ;)

How about this. Send a text saying your son would like a kick about in the park (or something like that) with his son so how about meeting up and perhaps lunch in order of a picnic?

Keeps it informal, kids get to play footie or something, Dad gets fed and watered, you both get some adult conversation.

Original poster
Turtletea · 28/07/2015 22:42

My kids aren't with me for the next month, or with me but away...so really it's my fault. He did sound keen when I suggested that last week of holidays we meet up, even when he thought I meant the bank holiday Monday!

OP posts:
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 28/07/2015 22:50

I wouldn't wait if I liked a guy. Not for a month anyway. I'd be thinking 'what if someone else gets to him first?' Blush

Maybe develop a sort of friendship first where you guys feel comfortable talking to each other? Or you could dive straight in and ask him for a coffee/drink?

ChilliAndMint · 28/07/2015 22:56

Bit self indulgent of me but I have just had a short date with a man who gave me his number at the place I was temping..
I though; "what have I got to lose?" We went for a walk and it turned out we were both into nature, ecology ,environmental issues.

He was really attractive too...never noticed before as he's always in uniform. The chemistry was good, both a teensy bit nervous but not so much as to make the experience uncomfortable. He's keen, I'm keen.

I have has lot's of OL dates but I was so taken by surprise.

If you like him just don't weigh up the odds, if asking him for coffee sends him running for the hills well you're best shot of him, you never know do you OP?

ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 29/07/2015 00:14

Awww ChilliandMint! That sounds lovely. I'm such a romantic. I love it when two people get together on mutual affection. It's really sweet you guys ended up being in to the same stuff Grin high five

Original poster
Turtletea · 29/07/2015 08:03

Hope it works out like that for me, chilliandmint.

OP posts:
rouxlebandit · 29/07/2015 09:19

Hope it works out like that for me, chilliandmint.

Just live for the present and enjoy the moment. Don't come across as too needy with him. Be yourself and don't put on an act trying to be someone you're not. And don't feel you have to talk non-stop - that puts a lot of us men off.

MadeMan · 29/07/2015 09:35

"I'd just text him. "Woohoo! Fancy going for a drink?" "

You should definitely text this, what Cabrinha suggested.

Original poster
Turtletea · 29/07/2015 19:18

Hmmm not sure I believe you.

OP posts:
ChilliAndMint · 29/07/2015 21:52

Who don't you believe? I was given a chap's phone number weeks ago..never took much notice of him at the time.

Phoned a few days ago...we have had two dates, no fireworks, just a lovely calm sense of knowing we sing from the same hymn sheet and nil intensity..honestly in all my 40 plus years have never felt that.

Life is about taking risks. Nothing ventured nothing gained..

You are not laying your neck on the line..you have a hunch that you might be good for each other..don't overthink the situation...he might just be feeling the same way.

BTW this happened to my mother..just married and in her 70's..she was egged on by my sis and 23 years later..

MadeMan · 29/07/2015 22:07

Or you could say to your son something like, "I like Simon's dad; pass it on" and just let the Chinese whispers do their thing. Smile

Then, if the Dad comes to you at some point and says, "Oi! What's all this business I hear about you liking me?" in a bolshy tone, you can laugh it off and blame the kids making up stories.

ChilliAndMint · 29/07/2015 22:27

Personally I would not play silly games. Just ask if he would like to meet for coffee..seriously what have you got to lose?

I take it you are genuine?

Original poster
Turtletea · 29/07/2015 22:41

I am genuine, which is why I am am not brave enough to do it! It's harder in real life!

OP posts:
Hughfearnley · 29/07/2015 22:48

Have a few drinks and ask him out....
I did exactly this.... Now married with DS.
Some Men are a bit thick when it comes to reading the signs.
JFDI ....
But please report back! Wink

ChilliAndMint · 29/07/2015 22:58

Look, I was hardly smitten by the bloke who gave me his phone number with a shaky hand, bloody glad I did, he's absolutely my kind of man. In the short conversation I had with him I'd never had guessed,

He is so much like me it is unreal. I am a chatterbox and he was too.

Just take the plunge.