sophie, I haven't read the whole thread but saw your update.
Just to tell you...my ex (who I adored) visited prostitutes with his first wife. When he first told me about this I was already in love with him and the fact that he was telling me freely showed me (or so I thought) he would never do the same to me. He told me it was because the ex wife was cold, witholding affection and he was lonely. I felt sorry for him actually.
Fast forward, and I can tell you that he and I had a red hot sex life. Still going strong at it almost daily, with dress up, role play and he;d come home to find me making his favourite dinner in stockings.
Regardless, I found out some time later he was on such sites still. Was he actually shagging someone else? I doubt it..doubt he would have had the time, but the point was he was capable of it. All it would have taken was for me to be sent away with work for a month, for me to have gotten sick or depressed or gone off sex for a while or maybe just grown older and he would have cheated.
Why? because he was capable. It was just his nature to be deceptive, to compartmentalise, to crave dirty illicit sexual experiences.
Did he love me? Yes. I think he loved me as much as he was capable of loving another person, but it was not the same sort of respectful, honest love I thought it was.
What you have done is so, so brave. Please don't go back. He will never change and let me explain why.
You haven't been shagging male escorts or other people. He has.
Why? Because he wnated to.
Just the simple fact that he wanted to do that tells you everything you need to know.