Step inside it's the Dating Thread 92!

[Whatsforsupper]

I'm not one for songs Or starting threads I saw the last one was full.

I shall post The Rules shortly:)

My turn, welcome to the world of OLD, I could offer lots of advice but I'm still learning myself, it can be quite stressful, never get too emotionally involved with someone you have not met or only met once, quite often I chat all night to someone ( through messaging ), they sound really keen, they ask to meet and then the next day they vanish of the face of the earth.

Mr Machanic is just a nick name for a guy I had been on a couple dates with, he has now been re named 'Mr Mind fuck', hopefully I won't hear from him again.

So today I have been chatting to a couple new ones, one seems lovely but doesn't drive, he lives almost 2 hours away, we seem to have loads in common ( unless he's just agreeing with everything I say ), he's 35, has no children, loves the same things as me but the problem being he lost his driving licence a while ago for doing something stupid ( gets it back soon ), so how far do you travel to meet someone? I'm not sure if I want to travel that far? The other guy I have been talking too seems nice too, he's also 35 with no children ( though he has a dog ) is good looking and seems like a nice bloke, he's a lot closer so easier to go and meet.

Have had quite a few messages this afternoon after up dating my profile, most I haven't replied too, a 25 year old ( too young ), a 26 year old ( again too young and talks in txt talk ) and a couple of others with rubbish chat up lines such as 'I like your long hair' and 'hello sexy, how are you?' .

Hi all. Well another date with Mr Picnic last night, out to a bar and for a meal but I was feeling a bit ill, cold or something so although didn't come home early it wasn't late. He's 38 I found out (thought younger) and has been married now divorced but his wife couldn't have kids, he says this was partly why they broke up not down to him but her, they had IVF etc. does anyone else think they're sometimes floating along whilst dating? Maybe it's me... Not slept with him yet and think if I do I'll either have to decide what to do or not.

Had a very weird texting session with Mr IT he kept on whatsapping me but all sex related... In the end I got really pissed off said I wasn't interested could he please leave me alone?! He said "sure". This was after the previous week he's been texting on and off but I'm not interested.

Mr Marketing strange there, he was supposed to be arranging to meet up with me (if only a date why not?!) but he was away for a few days start of weeks abroad for business.

Never I hated that with men, Mr Mechanic and his mindfuckery! Still at least you know his agenda now and can keep clear.

I wouldn't bother with the 2 hours away non driving one (it'll soon get on your nerves that!) but the other one yes and anyone who has a pet isn't too bad!

The others I'd keep trying but any too young just ignore....

Everyone else will reply to you later.... Still feeling a bit iffy so in tonight and got carnival tomorrow which will be fun and no men allowed to ruin it!

Never I am sorry about mechanic! It will go away once you go NC for a few months. he's a mindfucker xxxx

I too have lurked and lurked on here, reading the wisdom of many who have gone before....however, I have not learnt...I have been out with a fair few men, some on just single dates, the last but one for 8 months but met someone last week and I just thought, wow!!!! We just clicked, he had older children, was very sure of himself and, after date 4, well......

So then he takes me to London for the day, lovely cos my children away and then goes silent....then last night I receive a text saying why it would not work! So I replied, why take me out for the day and DTD one last time??!!

My RL friends are despairing of me and my many dates and very quick to judge but all happily married or happily flirty single!

I do seem to be picking the cads and bounders!!

And yes, know all about mind fuckwitery, Never and Super...I read and have paid attention to all your comments....this is my sanity!

What an arsehole!!!!! So sorry about that :/

Britney...I do know what you mean about reading the riot act to a date..

!The one guy that I did that to about keenness and exclusivity, has gone to ground, but after feeling poohey today, he has popped back up after viewing me online.....let's call him fast car.....but I do know exactly what he is about and at least he is cheery.....I need that at the moment but not really anything serious...?! Argh!

Mr non driving gets his licence back in a few months. He has been messaging me all day but tbh he is getting a little annoying, he's now whatsapping me and I want to go to sleep. He wants to talk to me on the phone ( I hate talking on the phone) and wants to arrange me going to see him, wants me too drive almost 2 hours and then stay over night (not at his, stay at a hotel ), he seems to think we have a connection from messaging for a few hours .

Mr Ginger is messaging me at the same time, it's all a little bit confusing, I think I might just go to bed and turn my phone and iPad off.

never I don't think I'd bother with Mr non driving, at least until he gets his license back. A 4 hour round trip every time you want to see him? Unless you live in the middle of nowhere and there's a shortage of blokes on your doorstep!

Mr First Date was out last night without me as I have the dc. We are not in the UK and here it is quite usual to take children out in the evenings, the children all play together and the adults chat. He didn't ask to do this but told me about his friends who would be there with their dc etc. etc. I don't know about that, I don't even know how you introduce a bloke to the kids as I never have! I don't want him to become part of our lives then disappear and I keep reading about OLD guys who do that. Though I don't think he'd do that.

Welcome to all the newbies, I won't give advice as have been on dates with the grand total of one guy!

Nora, I do live in the middle of nowhere sadly, this is my problem, most the men I talk too live a hour a way at least . Mr Ginger is a hour away and the other guy I am talking too is around 40 minutes away, I'm quite keen on meeting him as he sounds interesting but he doesn't seem as keen as the guy that lives 2 hours away. I think I may stay single for ever as all the men I am interested in are too far away.

Never, think if you've driven 2 hours and paid fo a hotel room it would be hard not to over invest in the relationship , all the effort would be from your side. I might try and see how serious he was by suggesting soewhere half way ish that he could.get to on public transport otherwise it is Very easy for him isnt it?
Long term also if it did work out, one of you would have to relocate.
I am lucky in that I live fairly centrally with lots of large towns around so there are lots of people on the sites within a reasonable distance. I have to say though current guy I am Seeing is from same town as me and it makes things so easy. We can both drink of an evening, then walk or cab home. Also dont feel bad if cant get a
sitter as he has not had to travel far just for a night in.
How rural are you? Is it worth waiting for someone more local to pop up or try some other sites?

I'm quite rural , there are a few local people on POF but no one that I am really interested in, I live in a place where everyone seems to know everyone so if anyone does pop up on POF within a 10 mile radius chances are that either I know them or they are a friend of a friend it is making things a bit tricky. I had a look on match but couldn't find anyone within a 30 mile radius ( most were 50+ miles away ). T would be much easier if I could find someone local as I wouldn't struggle as much with child care, could just pop out for a drink rather than spending most of the day travelling to see someone.

That sounds difficult, never is there any chance of new people moving in or is it the kind of place where everyone stays forever ?

I am annoyed with myself because no news from Mr First Date since last night, and I have dozens of different scenarios in my head, all of which end with him not being interested in me anymore. Even though his last message was 'see you tomorrow' and I'm supposed to be seeing him in a couple of hours.

Nora, it's the sort of place where people stay forever, occasionally new people move here. I had a message from some one local ish today (15 minutes drive away) but he hasn't said much other than 'hi' and 'how are you today?' So I don't think it will go anywhere .
Hope you here from Mr first date, have you messaged him to check if everything is ok?

Male friend trying out OLD.

He said he spent all week texting, calling and really liked this girl...went on one date and then he got the "no chemistry" text and was gutted.

My God I wish he knew how much worse it could be! Like being shagged, strung along, hot / cold and all that!!!!

After a year and a half at this going on one date and getting rejected is actually a good result!!!

I said I'd try OLD when I got back from holiday, so dipped my toe in the water with tinder.

Problem 1: I don't much like the look of most of them (I find details it difficult to judge before any conversation)
Problem 2: if I do get a match, why don't they message? I'm not confident to message first
Problem 3: one who did message clearly sees himself as Christian Grey... I was almost wetting myself laughing while he was thinking he's was getting me all hot under the collar.

Just don't know if it's for me, I miss the connection of meeting face to face!!

I'm relatively new to OLD - have been on Guardian Soulmates for a month. I've had 4 dates in the last 3 days and date #4 was just lovely. We did snogging! First man I've kissed except ex-husband since 1999. How am I supposed to keep a lid on it and not go all crazy? How does one do that? Am feeling all fizzy and not sleepy at all.

I don't know why this date was different from the other 3 - all similar ages, none a physically not a superb specimen but nothing wrong with any of them, all pleasant, chatty, well-mannered. Of the 4, this one is the oldest and has a teenage daughter (been there, not always easy) whereas the others were all single no kids. I was not expecting much. And yet, I was just itching for him to touch my hand all evening and am now all discombobulated. Why should that be?

Are you all having dates with people you actually fancy (from their photo)? Or do you just get out there, have a coffee and meet up with anyone who messages you and appears normal?

Waving if you like him just confess your lie. If he's not interested because of the number if children you actually have then it will never work and your receipt will just seem bigger the longer you don't tell him. If he likes you and is man enough then it should not be a problem.

I can't be bothered to lie about my life - what is the point? This is who I am. Like me for who I am or move on.

Notnow - because you clicked with him on a different level than the others? Enjoy it!

Myturn. I can only 'fancy' someone when I've met someone. However I can tell from a photo if they have a look about them that would put me off - I wouldn't meet them. I also learnt to speak on the phone before committing to a date - too many dates as soon as they opened their mouths I knew I coukd not spend time with them. If date/drinks no 1 went well I'd make sure lunch or dinner was next - I'm old enough to know myself that someone with bad table manners (or very different to mine) is not someone I could spend time with. I need someone with a naturally smiley face (having been married to a misery I'm not going there again) and someone with passion for life. They have to have kids (and not young ones). If they tick those boxes then if they are nice there's a good chance we can have a good/fun few dates that would indicate a possible good relationshi/friendship.

As for me things are going very nicely with Mr Twinkly Eyes. We've just spent a good chunk of the weekend together after our seperate holidays. I was looking forward to seeing him (a good sign) and wasn't disappointed (have been known to build someone up in my mind and the reality is a shock). During a conversation it turns out we have both hidden our profiles, of our own choice without discussion. Having ticked all the above mentioned boxes it's nice to be finding out we have lots in common, make each other laugh, chemistry is all there, intellectually on the same level. I'm looking foward to seeing how this grows.

Yougot, I get annoyed when I get a match and they don't message me, I never message first ( and I have written that on my profile ) but will reply if it's someone I got a match with or someone I find attractive.

Myturn, I go on dates with people who I have things in common with and find attractive ( I'm not too fussy with looks and I tend to be attracted to men that most other women would not look at twice ). I have been on dates with 5 people, would go out more but finding child care is tricky.

Mr 2 hours away has been messaging me non stop and seems to be really keen ( a little too keen ), he seems lovely but a few things are ringing alarm bells, the fact he has lost his driving licence after being stupid and now he tells me he hasn't got a job ( but is doing charity work ) puts me off a little. Luckily because he lives quite far away I will probably never be able to go and meet him.

Mr Ginger is making me frustrated, he's always working so I don't think we will ever meet, this is a shame as he seems quite nice and we talk a lot .

Mr Tubby says he's falling for me even though we haven't met, I'm not sure if I want to meet him, he seems really nice but his weight issue bothers me a little, I'm not sure wether to meet him as I don't want to lead him on and then not be attracted to him due to his weight, does that sound wrong?

So really I have no real matches lined up, feeling a bit and frustrated.

Oops, I accidentally clicked on someone's profile whilst using my phone (fat fingers, was trying to click on 'inbox' ), not a profile I would have normally looked at, anyway, he messaged me straight away saying 'thanks for looking' and now we are going on a date , not sure if I will go through with it, not really my type, too good looking and intelligent, on the plus side he is local though he is in the Army and based near by. After dating a ex army man who was a total twat I'm not sure if I want to date another but he does seem very nice. What should I do?

Too good looking and intelligent?????????????

Never what do you mean, what should you do? Go for it! Why don't you meet Mr Tubby too, if you've been chatting for so long you must have things in common and he might look better in RL than in pictures?

Waving I don't think you can do anything apart from confess, if you want to carry on seeing him. He's going to find out sooner or later and the more you leave it the worse it will be.

Myturn I didn't exactly fancy Mr First Date from his photo, in fact I skipped straight past his profile without even thinking. Then I regretted doing that so spent ages trying to find him again so I could send a message He just looked like a nice bloke, and in RL we got on really well from the start. He is objectively quite nice looking, just nothing like the blokes I'd been out with before. I think he's gorgeous now though

Mr First Date did turn up yesterday, nursing a hangover. He had lost his phone and that was why I hadn't heard from him. The second I saw him I felt silly for worrying! We sat out in my garden for a bit as I only had a couple of hours without the dc. I think I like him too much, and vice versa, considering we met just about 6 weeks ago.