Step inside it's the Dating Thread 92!

[Whatsforsupper]

I'm not one for songs Or starting threads I saw the last one was full.

I shall post The Rules shortly:)

I find daytime coffee dates much easier although it's easier to be 'flirty' with soft lighting and wine. In daytime I have to remind myself it's not a business meeting!

I need the security of a pub and a few vodkas to be myself on a first date, would feel really awkward in the cold light of day gazing at each other wordlessly over a gingernut latte.

I prefer daytime dates, I hate meeting in a pub, feels like everyone is looking at you as they have probably guessed you are on a first date.

So I managed to find a date last night after the other guy sent me inappropriate pictures. I went on a date with a man we shall call 'Mr Deli ', he was a true gent, we went to a quiet pub, he opened doors, bought me a drink and kept asking if I was ok (I have a bit of a cold so kept coughing ), he seemed very easy to talk too, he put his arm around me and gave me a kiss, probably one of the nicest men I have been on a date with but sadly there was no spark (I think he felt a spark but not me ). I don't know if it's worth a 2nd date as I feel if there was something there I would have felt it straight away.

Now the other guy (that sent the pictures) is messaging begging for a 2nd chance and being quiet sweet,not sure what to do?

I think that sex-toy man already showed his true colours. He didn't stop when you called him on his behaviour first time which to me is a red flag.

I would definitely give Mr Deli a 2nd date. There are loads of stories on here about not feeling spark on first date but going on to have feelings for someone.

Thank you, Mr Deli has messaged me several times today so he is obviously interested. I'm just not sure if I am physically attracted to him, he's not ugly but he's no oil painting either, other than his looks there's nothing I don't like about him. I might go on a 2nd date and then decide if it's worth continuing.
Mr sex toys has messaged me today, he has sent several messages apologising and telling me he is not just after one thing and he is looking for his soul mate, he wanted to meet up today but I said I was busy.

Other then some chemical surge can anyone here define this "spark" thing?.

Quite a few people say that sometimes people who they would have never considered have "grown" on them?.

Opinions welcomed if you please:)

thanks.

Im married so not dating. But for me sexual chemistry is a connection ...a strong pull to someone , an attraction to someone that goes way beyond looks....in fact i had what ive just described with someone who wasnt what ppl would call conventionally attractive. in other words who the media tells us to be attracted to

Im not a fan of online dating and wouldnt do it especially after what ive read on this very board.

Helena, I agree with your definition. It's hard to describe or prefict but when it happens you know all about it.

I've been OLD for a few months after the end of a long marriage and I've had almost overwhelmingly positive experiences. It's not the way I would choose to meet a partner all else being equal but it's working for me, and has worked for 2 of my single friends. I can't remember the last time I met an attractive single man my own age in RL.
I am in my 50s, looking for a man my age and without exception the ones I have met have been decent, attractive men with a realistic idea of who they want to meet ( e.g not a 25 year old with a pneumatic body).
I know that's just my experience and maybe I've just been lucky.

Hi Waving!

I'm on Match. I very much see it as a numbers game - you have to do a lot of weeding but there are a few hidden gems on there! I have widened my search geographically too.
I have been very selective about who I meet so I think a lot of the players get sussed out early on.

Without exception the men I have met have been decent guys and I have no doubt they are looking for relationships.
Oh, I just remembered there was one who was totally unrecognisable from his profile pictures (which must have been taken 10 years and 4 stone previously!) but even he was a nice guy and we have stayed friends.

I was on GSM briefly and there were some very nice men on there but the 'traffic' is too low in my area.

I know from reading this thread and others that my experience is not universal but 2 friends, also on Match are now in LTR with lovely men

GSM ?, sorry what's that translated?.

Sorry! Guardian Soulmates.

I have seen enough threads on here to know this is not unusual but has anyone here experienced extreme anxiety when not in regular contact between dates?
I have just started to see a guy. We emailed, phoned and have met up once which was great. He immediately wanted to fix up the next date and we plan to meet on Friday ( and possibly for lunch before then).
That was yesterday and we have only exchanged one or two texts since.
I have no reason to question his sincerity and he seems very keen but I am beside myself with anxiety wondering why he's not texting more often.
I know this is crazy. I don't need that confirmed to me! I'd just like to hear other experiences and how people have coped with this.
Recent relationships have had fairly constant and consistent texting back and forth so that is what I have become used to.
I know this guy is a very busy professional and I don't think he has ever been much of a texter from what I gather. Please help me not destroy this before it even begins by being needy and pathetic, especially after just one date!

Colour, I used to feel like that about messaging, always worrying about why messages had slowed down etc.., now I try not to worry as it would drive me nuts if I think about it too much. Some people are not that in to texting, others text non stop ( which can also be annoying ).

I have been in contact with the guy I went out with on Sat ( Mr Deli ), we have been chatting a lot and he asked if I wanted to take thing further? I told him that I wanted to be friends and see how things go. He really is a nice person, I can't really find anything wrong with him apart from his looks, I feel a bit silly, am I being fussy? Anyway we are going to have a 2nd date and see how things go. He keeps making plans ( asking me if I want to go to different events and activities ) but I am trying to take it one day at a time.

Doughnut, I would try not to overthink it (hah! The irony coming from me!). You can't force yourself to feel an attraction that's not there but equally if he is a really nice guy it might be worth giving him a chance to see if something develops.

I had been chatting by email and talking on the phone before I met this guy. I had fallen so much for his humour and voice that on my way to meet him for the first time I told myself I wouldn't care if he looked like Danny DeVito! To me it was a bonus that he was easy on the eye!

Colourmylife1 Ah!, thanks for that it also refers to a mobile phone system so sez google!.

As to the text anxiety i bet it'd cause anxiety of there were too many texts as well as too few, it's a bit like the three bears porridge;!

Hi can I join? I've got two dates lined up this week and both are my type which is a start!! Usually I go along thinking 'will I like i him?' Which most of time I don't

I would give DeliMan one more date - especially if I'd had a cold and so generally been feeling less enthusiastic about everything.

Welcome Sparkles! Let us know how you get on.

My anxiety has calmed down for now as he has called me a couple of times 'just to say hello'!
I know it's only a matter of time before the jitters return though.

Got my date with a tall dark architect tomorrow. Is it normal to be so excitedly nervous

Hello. Can I join in please? I have been long time lurker but took the plunge and signed up to match last Friday.
And now I am meeting a bloke for coffee tomorrow afternoon - eeeeek!

I was in my last relationship for 17yrs and then 2 years post divorce being single so even 'just coffee' is a bit petrifying.

Am just trying to go with the flow (I have read the rules!!) and tbh I am half expecting him not to show up. Anyway nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Start its so nerve wracking isn't it? Are you attracted to his pics or his texts, with me so far it's his personality as his pics weren't that impressive but i still like him!!

Sparkles, I would say that excitedly nervous is totally normal! I'm struggling to get used to having permanent butterflies. I'm not sure whether it's excitement or anxiety.
Welcome Start. I lurked for a very long time before posting!

Colour did you feel strong before you met? I haven't for the others but this one is bit different and we just both need to be in contact with each other all time whereas other guys I've found it tiresome