Step inside it's the Dating Thread 92!

[Whatsforsupper]

I'm not one for songs Or starting threads I saw the last one was full.

I shall post The Rules shortly:)

I agree Super - a really good present from someone you'd only been dating a little while would be a bit overwhelming!

I've had that a few years back (very nice candles from liberty or selfridges) along with Leonidas Belgian Chocs after I think 3 months and Tiffany earrings (gold and silver) after 4 months.

Both were from different men (boyfriends) but were a bit much to expect.

Oh and there was the time I got some very nice perfume from someone I hadn't been dating long not even slept with him, I was about 18 he dropped the present to my house (i lived at home then) and I didn't have or even get a gift for him in return (at Christmas).

I've just started 'seeing' a man I met on, wait for it, Tinder . He's very genuine, upfront and down-to-earth. He's even deleted himself from Tinder and other dating sites. So I believe all hope is it lost for the world of OLD!!

Someone behaving decently, but on Tinder?

But don't you know that Tinder is only for sex, and sooo superficial?

Only kidding - but that's the reaction you seem to get on here whenever it's mentioned in general threads (not so much on threaads where people are actually dating and have, y'know, tried it).

First time poster on this thread. I am in my early 40s with two DDs aged 3 and 6 I've been on various sites over the last 18 months and only managed a pathetic 2 dates: 2 different men: same location! (unimaginative, moi?). I'm considered nice looking, have a good job, plenty of interests but can't seem to get much in the way of interest. Is it that men my age want younger women and older men have done with bringing up children of this age? This is coming as a shock to me and I've been in denial I suppose. Soulmates seems to be the worst for people viewing my profile but moving on or not even acknowledging messages I've carefully penned. How rude!

Interested to hear other people's experience - especially those who can relate to my situation.

Ok laddies ( and gents ), need a bit of advice, have been OLD on and off for most of the year, have met many twats, married men, men just after one thing and a couple clingy men. I am looking for someone to spend time with, have fun with and maybe eventually have a serious relationship with ( but no rush ). I have been chatting to a man for a few days, I can't really find anything I don't like about him, we have things in common, he has a good job, works hard and we make each other laugh. We have arranged to meet at the weekend.

I have a habit of jumping into things ( or jumping into bed with people ) which is ok but if it's someone I want a relationship with I don't want them thinking I am easy. I really want to do things right with this one but I am feeling confused as to what he wants ( his profile states he is looking for a relationship ), one minute he's being really lovely saying ' he will be happy with a peck on the cheek on the first date and won't expect anything more' and then the next minute he's sending me photos of himself with not much on. I do find him very atractive although he's no oil painting and if I was looking for a fuck buddy I would probably DTD on the first date. I really don't want to ruin things by DTD on the first date as I don't want it to end up being all about sex.

I have arranged for someone to have the dc's sat night but I have not told him that I have the whole night free as I don't want to feel obliged to spend the night at his. How can I slow things down a little and control myself?

kissitbetter2 One of the things i have observed here that it is very common for men to look for a younger woman. I'd think of you as young as I'm 64 but I suppose someone who is say 40 might be looking for a 30 Y/O.

By that reasoning you might find some interest from say 50 year old's?.

As to the done with children I don't think all would say that I wouldn't. If i met a lady with some children I'd be very accepting of that as I too have children if you can call them children anymore the youngest is now 17.

When you say soulmates dr you mean the Guardian?. I do hear that three is a lot of shall we say bad "manners" one most all sites with people not bothering to reply to a message.

Doughnutsandflapjacks33 Well if you don't want to DTD with anyone you simply don't have to. If I was interested in a woman and saw her as a long term prospect then I'd wait till she was happy with doing that.

As to the pictures it seems anything goes these days, whatever happened to romance? it it dead now:-(

I hate the sending of pictures, kind of ruins the surprise factor when you finally dtd which is why I have regard to send photos back.

The trouble is, if we do hit it off straight away I will want to dtd but I know from past experience that it often ruins things.

I have met someone online. We messaged for a week and have spoken this week. He seems to be all I would want in a man - kind, thoughtful, funny, cultured. We planned to meet this week but he called off because he was ill ( I'm confident this is true). But.... his profile age is 47. In his first message he told me he is actually 51. Fine, no problem. But I did some googling ( he is well known in his field) and it turns out his real age is 55. I'm 50 so this is really not a problem for me but I am concerned about the lie.

I am hypersensitive to lying of any sort as my husband lied to me for the last 2 years of my marriage.

Am I over-reacting due to my recent history? Should I go ahead and meet him hoping he will tell the truth when we meet?

Do I tell him I Googled him? Is that stalkerish, or normal/sensible in this day and age?

Yeah he'll probably think it's a bit stalkerish, but everyone does it these days.

That's what worries me! How about the lie though? Am I blowing it out on proportion?

Colour, I am the same about lying, if they can tell a little lie about their age then what else could they lie about? I would have issues with trust after him telling a lie so early on. I often Google people or try and view their profiles on Facebook ( because I'm nosey ).

Well I am not sure if I am going to meet the guy I have been talking too, he over stepped the mark last night whilst texting, we were talking about normal stuff, he was flirting a little and then he sent me a photo of a very scary looking sex toy, I ignored him, he messaged several times asking 'what's wrong' , I messaged him this morning telling him he may have scared me off, he didn't seem to understand why , anyway he has apologised and said 'I guess I have pissed you off and you probably don't want to see me tomorrow?'. He is really confusing me, one minute he's being really nice and saying there's no preasure to do anything, no hurry etc... And then he sends me these photos. Do I run for the hills or meet him tomorrow night?

Every time I get involved with men in their 30's they always seem to be porn addicts ( want to act out what they have seen in porn movies ) which is why I often go for older men. I am really pissed off about this one as he came across as a really nice person

Doughnut, I might be tempted to meet your guy anyway ( somewhere very public!! ) if he seems otherwise quite nice. He totally misjudged the situation in your case but that could be based on previous experiences and expectations. If you meet him you are likely to get a sense very quickly of whether it was a mistake on his part or something more worrying. But hey, what do I know? I'm back dating after a 25 year marriage so pretty naive in some ways!
It's hard work, isn't it?

I think if someone's sending you pics of sex toys it's because they're just looking for sex not a relationship. Unless that's what you want, I'd avoid.

I don't think I'm going to meet him , annoying as I have arranged child care. I have given him a chance to make me change my mind about him and he has continued being dirty , such a shame as things started off great. I think I am going to look for someone a bit older, all the men I have had problems with have been a similar age to me ( mid 30's ) and all seem quite immature or in to porn.

Now toy try and find another date for tomorrow night .

Oh... Right choice if he has continued after being told his behaviour was unwanted.

I called my guy on his lie by text and he's not responded. Either he has been sleeping all day with phone off ( he is quite unwell so it's possible) or he is really not be be trusted. I'm a bit gutted as he seemed so great. Yes, I know I was over-invested before even meeting him!

It's very hard work. Got another thread about being played - don't know how to link to it - and already, after one man, I'm feeling disillusioned

Colourmylife1 I don't think its wrong weird or stalker" ish" to google someone. If you know their name and what's on t' web is in the public domain so what's the problem?. Its all about finding out about someone and if there's a real dealbeaker then best to know soonest.

Mate of mine used to do a lot of work free of change for someone who purported to be running a charity for disadvantaged children. This man was American. Now over there if you are convicted of a misdemeanour then its in the public domain. He had some suspicions about him. Turns out this guy had done prison time for molesting young boys:(

A word to old bill soon put his activities on stop!

Doughnutsandflapjacks33 Most all men are after a bit of the other. I'm no different. However sending pictures of cocks and sex toys is simply the essence of naff. Very poor taste indeed:-(

itsallpoop Sorry but it seems to be part of on-line dating.

I know - onwards and upwards; there's one out there somewhere for us all!

itsallpoop Yep, only problem is finding the begger!.

So I have now ditched Mr sex toys, made an excuse so I don't have to meet him. Have now been asked out by 2 others so hopefully I will have a date for tomorrow night.

Oh Doughnut! Great work! That's one upside of OLD - when you have a disappointment there are always others waiting in the wings. Even for an old girl like me.

That's true, if you aren't too overinvested you can bounce back relatively easily. How many people does everyone message at once?

Think I need to be talking to more than one to stop me getting too attached, but feels like I'm being underhand talking to three or four at the same time.

itsallpoop I think that's the way of it these days. My 20 odd Y/O seems to have around 3 or 4 boys on the go at once!