Step inside it's the Dating Thread 92!

[Whatsforsupper]

I'm not one for songs Or starting threads I saw the last one was full.

I shall post The Rules shortly:)

Aww Oyster thank you and loads of congrats. Can I have your life please?

Update, have signed up, chosen nice but accurate photos (not the ones where I look flukily hot and even I'm a bit "who is that") and am a bit overwhelmed with messages and notifications. I assume because have appeared on a "new" list. Will try to find some not weird people now!

Good luck fast, I was warned beforehand that the ones who message initially are on the look out for "fresh meat" and not necessarily the most genuine guys but it's good to chat to lots of different people to build your confidence up. Don't feel any pressure to reply to if you don't want to.. at any point in the conversation.

Well I'm on a roll ... 2nd first date arranged for Friday after work. He's off work injured atm so I'll call him Mr Collarbone. We've swapped numbers so have a week to get to know a bit more about each other before meeting.

I'm marking my place here again. Dating bloke from tinder but think he might be a womaniser - can't quite work him out. Very very keen through, him. I am south west and he does a very specific job with roofs. Very attentive and attractive but I am determined to not over invest and get burned again.
Glad it's not just me that hates whatsapp! Feck that!

Ok hi everyone hope you're all ok, I was in here a while, have been 'dating' or not and met up with 1 man I recently which went well but was alcohol fuelled.

Anyway met a man I've been messaging on OKCupid for a month then we agreed to meet but I'd only seen pics of him with sunglasses on until I asked for ones without and I saw them this week.

Anyway he was nice enough, we talked a lot but me maybe too much (nerves?) but then he seemed to have an opinion on my going out for a day with friends in London and it costing us a lot of money and we only had 2 drinks between 7 and 11pm! Also he wasn't really my type looks wise (semi beard) but he is very nice. I just didn't feel chemistry or enough of it and also I got the feeling he was a bit sensitive which is great but not 100% my type,I offer extroverts or more so and not so private which he said he was. I don't think we'll see each other again but just wanted to ask do others get this?

I do have 2 other options - 1 nice man who emails every 2-3 days and another man who has gone away for work/holiday for about 3 weeks and said he'd be back I think next week, he was actually interesting and has good profile photos too.

wotsits why do you think this man is a womaniser? Any clues? Keen is good though.

waving you don't have to give an explanation you can just say you don't think you clicked with him, that's fairly non offensive. MrMusicman I wouldn't bother with blowing you out and then apologising.

Hi, after a week of coming off of online dating I am starting to get a bit bored ( and the guy I have been talking too has turned into a complet twat ) so last night I joined Tinder, I have no idea how it works and if it's worse than POF? I have had a couple matches and one has messaged me, he wants to chat this evening , I'm trying to be extra careful and am only talking to men that look like nice guys, I know it's hard to tell but I'm ruling out anyone who shows pictures of their 6 pack, pissed up pictures and the ones who are cuddling puppies.

I met a guy off tinder last Friday, we'd only been messaging since the Sunday previous, but I'm ok with a quick meet up to see if there's any chemistry.

His messages were a bit dry and I was having 2nd thoughts as I want someone who makes me laugh but we spoke on the phone & I decided to go.

Anyway we got on really well and I fancied him too... Things were looking up. I was driving so it wasn't even a false reading due to alcohol. We had a bit of a snog when walked me to my car and I was definitely left wanting more, we both said we wanted to see each other again.

Jump forward to today (yes only 5 days later) and I've had enough! He messages me constantly, sends me bad selfies and is basically coming on way too strong. I've tried to politely tell him to back off but it makes no difference, then last night he sent a message using my name as it is on fb (a combination of my married & maiden names) so I know he's been searching for me online.... I was totally freaked out & told him so. I hadn't even given him my surname.

There followed 6 (unanswered) phone calls & several texts & WhatsApp messages. This morning I messaged to say we clearly want different things and it's best he doesn't contact me again.... I felt like his bloody girlfriend and had to keep reminding myself we'd only met once!

I'm disappointed cos I did like him when we met but I couldn't put up with that level of intensity so early on!!

Hi guys!

I have just joined Mumsnet (after lurking for years) literally to participate in this thread

I'm 33 (left a 10 year marriage) and fresh to the dating scene. Got 3 dates lined up this week!

Good luck Geordie. Don't forget to come back and tell us about your dates!

Hello all waves

Not caught up on the thread for ages. Updates from all my old friends please?

I am still suferring through the dating.

still seeing MrClooney who messed me around a bit so I took a step back. Very confused about what he wants from me but I admit after about 5 months of dating on and off I genuinely don;t have feelings for him. I do enjoy his company and he plans great dates.

Also dating another one, MrArchitecht, who is great in a lot of ways but also is newly separated so I am keeping him at arms length.

Have my eyes set on someone else though from RL, who I think I have partly fallen for and hve no idea what to do or whether to tell him. Terrified really.

Hope it's all going well with you all

xxx

Hello! Anyone still on here?

Jellybean god, he sounds like a psycho! Lucky escape!

Geordie good luck!

Britney I remember you, I had a different name back then! Tell us more about RL man...

Well on Fri I finally went on a 2nd date with the guy I wasn't too sure of... It went really well, with a rather lovely snog at the end Now I'm doing that thing I always do... I've gone from being a bit meh and not bothered about whether he texts or not, to constantly checking my phone and wondering whether he will. Texted quite a few times yesterday, but nothing today. Just trying to distract myself and resist being the first one to text!

Hi,

Can I join this thread? Seems it's not as active as it has been but it sure has been fun to lurk!

I've been dipping my toes in OLD for a couple of months and I think I'm developing the required thick skin.

Have been sort-of-seeing someone i met on OLD for the past month, which has been a bit drama filled. Not sure if I'm looking to him for validation but boy am I attracted to him. Dates few and far between as I have 50% custody of dc and he's got a full life. Let's call him the African Linguist. Next date in 6 days, but I have a feeling he's losing interest now we've DTD. I'm hung up on him because I seem to have a thing for unavailable men.

I ran into someone I knew on an OLD site (shudder) who was my boss about 18 years ago. He is super, super keen and sends 5 emails to my 1. 16 years older than me, physically not my type, but we have heaps in common. It almost feels like dating myself, how boring. Let's call him the Ginger Cat Man (sends me amusing cat memes all day).

Also have a date lined up with my ex from 20 years ago, the Aging Skinhead.

Anyone interested in updates? It might be therapeutic for me to share

Well after less than a month on POF I'm disillusioned already... I get loads of messages but of guys who look old enough to be my dad (although their profile says they're younger than me). I know you can't really tell if you'll be physically attracted to someone from a picture but I think you can tell if you definitely won't. I wouldn't want to lead them on by messaging them back when I have zero interest.

grammar that all sounds exciting. The over-messaging would put me off tho. I have seen 3 people I know on POF... I've blocked them but the profile for one keeps
popping up

I've messaged a few normal looking guys first (feeling brave) tried to make the message relevant to their profile & what I think we have in common cos a "hi" message bugs me, but not got any replies.. I'm not desperate for any of them to contact me but I do wonder what it takes for some men to reply???

That's good news waving my stbxh was completely bald so I'm trying to steer clear of baldies just cos I want a contrast to him... But there's so many of them in my age range and no filter to say I'm only interested in men with hair!!

I'm messaging a 29yr old atm.... He's very good looking! I know he's only after sex but a small part of me is tempted just have a break from the "looking for a relationship" aspect of OLD, I want a laugh and a bit of fun. I'm not one to get emotionally attached anyway (cold fish springs to mind) so don't worry about getting hurt. If we met in a pub, had a bit of banter and slept together I'd have no issues, it's just seems so calculated knowing that's all it is from the get go.

Hi ,
Been a poster (dif name pre hacker)
And long time lurker.
Just wanted to see if anyone has had equally awful date like mine last night from pof?!
We had had date 1 in a pub , was not so bad,not initial attraction too much but thought I'd give a 2nd date(I've never got to 2nd date with the 6 that I've had total as just either I'm fussy or their not my cuppa tea)
Followed advice of a friend with lots of experience dating who said if the guy wasn't awful give it a 2nd date.
In between dates we chatted via what's app and really really got on.

So we decided to go to local pub.
On the initial date he was a bit scruffy compared to his photos but thought he trying to be casual.
Last night he was really scruffy and turned up with a big sovereign ring on. Basically chav central - within an hr I knew he was not for me.
So I ended the date, dropped him home.

Basically then, all through the night I got a stream of what I could describe as immature messages like didn't like you much anyway - your still in love with your ex. He told me he was blocking me, then unblocked me.
I didn't reply to any, thought it could be drink talking.
This morning I replied saying we ve got on great- sorry it hasn't worked , good luck.
He then proceeded to be almost menacing in the messages like shove it etc!!!!

Omg omg.i can't believe it?!! Has anyone else experienced it?
The only bit that worries me is he knows a fair bit about me- not where I live or anything - just what I do for a living, phone number etc an that I'm out tonight at big family meal in a particular area.eeek.
I've now blocked him- on phone an what's app.ive also hidden my profile on pof.
Anyone else had this awful experience ?

Hi all can I join this thread please ?
Been a lurker for a long time now..

I've been online dating now for a year !!! I've had eleven first dates ! Two progressed to seeing them, both lasted three months.. Latest one literally has just turned cold on me. Cut the contact, being polite but not interested !! So annoying as I had developed feelings. Very tired of it all now. I'm close to throwing the towel in !! :-( every one I know seems to be with someone. I'm fairly attractive ( others say ), work, have interests etc but still this !!

I'm thinking that last one had someone else on the go.
gohackyourself!that sounds awful.. What is he thinking ? God that you have blocked him :-)

Kateshair-
I'm defiantly off it-
This has really put wind up me.
I've had a profile on pof about 3 times and I delete it- this is def the last time.
I had a match acc too but no one chatted on there at all.
So that was my foray into the dating world and I'm done with it.
I'm a tough cookie but I can't be doing with idiots masquerading as "normal men"!
I get heartened by the happy ending stories on here, but I guess for every one of those- there's 10 horror stories!

Hi, can I join as well please.
I've had a couple of dates from POF but I realised I wasn't fussy enough as the guys just weren't right for me at all. I know it will sound snobby but I found that none of the men on there had good jobs. I don't want someone to keep me but I want someone who can talk about their day and can support themselves financially.

Signed up to OkCupid last night after reading about it on here and I've been bombarded by the "hey babe u wanna chat" type guys so that seems no better.

Feeling disheartened but I'm 30, recently divorced, I know no eligible men in real life and I want a family so I can't see another option!

Can I join you too? Having a mainly miserable time doing OLD. Tried POF but that was awful. Signed up to Match and only had a few replies after four weeks.

I did go out with a lovely man but after four dates we were gearing up to DTD and he couldn't. He suggest he bring a pump next time. I was mortified for him but did not show it. We texted for a week or so, him not taking me out because of work committments and the rugby on television so I sent him a message saying that he was just not making my heart go flipflop so I thought it best to be honest and hoped he would find another lovely lady to go out with.

I always reply to messages, even if it is "thank you but no thank you". I find there are a lot of arrogant men on Match too. One today, had put in his profile an awful lot of materialistic things as his "favourite things" including "peilcan pen" so I messaged him telling him I was intrigued and did he really actually have pelicans in a pen in his garden? My sense of humour was not found funny as he did not reply. And he said he was a gentleman...

So, I have thrown my dummy out of the pram and messaged him again and apologised for my sense of humour and said the best thing he could do was correct the spelling as there was a significant price difference between the price of a Pelican pen and a Pelikan pen and maybe, just maybe, if he was trying to attract a certain type of woman who might actually know what a Pelikan pen signified, he correct the spelling.

I feel better having sent it, childish though it was.

I had my very first old yesterday, we got along well, just met for coffee and had a kiss after. To me there seemed definite attraction and he was showing he was attracted to me iykwim. But today he is not as keen or quick to message as he had been previously. He has said he likes me, wants to meet again. But I feel a bit confused with the actual difference of how he is acting today compared to yesterday. I have asked him about this so I will wait and see what he says. I probably shouldn't have asked him but I couldn't be bothered with game playing.

Hello, Newby here.

Just wanted to ask as I'm having trouble allowing myself to trust. Met this bloody amazing guy online and had two very successful dates . Lots of texting since. He's got a family in another part of the country, where he visits every other weekend. He's been separated from his ex for 5 years. They seem to have a very amicable relationship too. They spend Christmases all together for example, and he stays in her house when he visits.

Problem is I have been cheated on in the past and I can't help but over think things. How can I be sure he's not still got some sort of relationship with his ex? I know I sound ridiculous.

He's a decent guy. A gentleman who hasn't pestered me for sex, he said he'd like us to wait until we're both ready. The physical attraction is unbelievable though!

I'm totally falling for this guy, help!

You're not being ridiculous. Because although most weekend commuters go home every week, going fortnightly isn't unheard of either.

The only way I can think of to tell would be to see if you can invite yourself along to one of these weekends "I've always wanted to see [attraction near XW's location]. Let's go together next weekend, and book into a nice hotel so XW doesn't have to host you for once." And "I can drop you by the DC on my way to [attraction] and can I have the landline so I can ring when I'm on my way back and make an arrangement where I can get you?"

Don't over-egg it, but his reaction might be illuminating.

Thanks hippo. Will think on your suggestion. It's difficult because I don't drive. Also it's about 5 hours to get there so it wouldn't be something I could casually suggest. I have 2 kids too so it would take a lot of planning.

He was visiting last weekend and was texting me at all times of the day and evening. He even sent a photo of his child (well the back of his child riding a new bike).

He seems really keen. It's going to be difficult arranging dates as I have to wait until my children are with their dad, and it has to be a weekend where he's not away.

I have had butterflies in my tummy since we first met a couple of weeks ago. I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt. My god do I like this guy. Haven't felt like this in about 20 years!!