Step inside it's the Dating Thread 92!

[Whatsforsupper]

I'm not one for songs Or starting threads I saw the last one was full.

I shall post The Rules shortly:)

super Mr First Date is great His friends (who I don't know very well so not sure yet, but...) seem nice and normal too and that's reassuring - one person could pretend to be something they're not but a whole group of them couldn't manage it! I wasn't even looking for a relationship - the thought of another bloke in my life gave me claustrophobia and a sort of panicky feeling but he's OK. If this is the start of a relationship and it carries on like this then it's OK.

myturn if really no spark then it's prob best to say so straight, but that said maybe on a first date if you're both nervous and trying to make a good impression there could easily not be a spark, just because of the stress of the situation.

pugalicios I remember Mr 5 hours, he sounds a bit complicated. Maybe he really is just shy but that's no excuse for dissappearing!

never Mr Tubby sounds nice from all you've said about him. Perhaps he just doesn't photograph well and you'd be pleasantly suprised if you met him.

Mr Tubby has a lovely face, lovely eyes, he even has nice legs, it's just his middle but I think if he's a nice person I could get over it.

Nora he said he really likes me but not had a relationship for 15 years! said cos he likes me doesnt want to hurt me

Never just meet Mr Tubby we are dying to see how it goes!

I dont have a picture up and a guy has asked me to send him a pitcher? I said a pitcher of what. Ladies what are we doing!!

Jesus he has replied you don't have a picture on Tinder...it was POF

@ pitcher.

15 years is a long time to be single, do you know why he's been on his own so long?

never just look into his eyes then

He lived with a woman and was engaged and she left him. I dont know if he has dated in since. I don't know why but his personality really attracts me

never you do know what everyone says policemen are like, right?! quite a generalisation but I've got a female single policeman friend and a male married DCI friend. the married one seems 'normal' but the female one says what they say about policemen is true lots of affairs etc.

it was interesting I met I think one of her PC friends and won a date at a charity auction but he I think was gay. then I met another friend of hers or something like that - had a fling with him but he was a detective too and worked silly hours (plus had 3 kids who stayed with him at weekends). i can't say I'd rush to date one again!

I think I will stay clear from policemen, I didn't reply to his last text last night, hopefully he knows it's because I was offended. I wouldn't be surprised if he's married, he told me he is widowed and has been single for a long time, he does not use a photo on his profile ( apparently because of his job ).

Mr tubby is poorly so I'm not sure if I will be meeting him this week or not, Mr 2 hours away thinks I'm going to see him on Sunday, I have no idea how I'm going to get out of it , I don't really want to drive all that way.

Never just tell Mr 2 Hours that it is too far for you to drive.

pity mr Tubby is poorly

To all you more experienced o.l.daters.....what if you match but they don't message? Would you message? If yes how long would you wait for them to make contact first? What to you say? "hi" doesn't seem to cut the mustard and I'm clueless.

I'm not overly interested in the guts I've matched with at this stage but need the practice so I can get more comfortable messaging that's why I want to start the conversation if they don't.

Yougota

I presume you mean the suggestions the site thinks you're suited too I don't think you'll have much luck waiting on those guys to message you.

Id take a look around and see if anyone catches your eye and contact them.

Usually a short message maybe finding something in their profile. I don't think its worth sending long first messages though others may see it differently.

Yougota - I have never managed to get to a first date with someone I messaged first after matching (eg on tinder). Only if they messaged first. Not sure why. Others may have different experiences...

Yes I'm talking about tinder.... Haven't plucked up the courage for anything where I have to write an actual profile

Ah, I thought you meant matches on the likes of dating sites:)

I'd see no reason not to say 'Hi' seen as you've both agreed you like the look of each other.

I never message anyone first, always wait for them to message me, it's rare that I get a message from a match tbh .

Just wanted to update you all, well I met MrC two weeks ago and it has been amazing ever since. We became an offical couple a week ago and havent looked back. Its just great when you meet someone you can talk to for hours, he makes me laugh and is so gorgeous. Everyone at work is saying how I am glowing and so happy all the time. The thread really helped me enter the world of dating again and well all I can say is go with your instincts.

Thats fantastic so pleased it is working out for you!

I am ridiculously happy to read that hiding.

(What's your secret?).

Oh, just remembered what I intended to post before being distracted

Have any of you got any experience with eharmony?

Decided to change my username from yougotafriend to something a bit more lighthearted given that I'm in a new stage of life.

hiding for someone just embarking on the dating scene, that's such positive news

Ahh, I'm feeling really confused about everything this morning. Mr Ginger was messaging last night, saying he needs female company, someone to talk too etc..., he basically ended up saying he wants a relationship with me. Now I really like him but due to us both having so much baggage and him working all the time I can't see how we can have a relationship, we both have high school age children living at home and I also have a child with sn's, we live an hour apart, he rarely gets any spare time due to working, it took 4 weeks for us to meet up and it was only for 2 hours ( fantastic 2 hours ). For us to have any kind of relationship something would have to give ( his work ) which I don't think will happen . I haven't really answered him straight as to if I want a relationship, I don't know what to say, I told him I enjoyed outer time together, I find him easy to talk too and I'm not just after one thing. What do I do? Lay the cards on the table and say 'it's not going to work unless you make more time'?, just walk away now?

I feel like I'm at a funny stage in my life, I usually have my life planned out, it rarely goes to plan but I usually have some kind of idea what I want the future to hold, at the moment I have no idea, I'm about to look for work, maybe re start my career, I need some kind of plan .

Mr 2 hours away is really getting on my nerves, I don't have the energy to even message him back anymore, I'm not sure if it's because I'm thinking about someone else or if it's because he's so full on, I am meant to be seeing him Sunday but I'm going to tell him it's not happening, I think I need to spend the weekend on my own thinking and having a break from men.

I'm very close to giving up on dating, I love the chatting and the attention but what comes next just scares me, I'm scared of things going wrong, things not working out and getting hurt, I'm not sure if I am strong enough for a relationship yet, or maybe I'm just enjoying my own company.

Are you sure it scares you? Or is it just not what is right for you now? It sounds to me as though you have lots of exciting thoughts for the future, and taking on a partner because he needs female company and someone to talk to doesn't seem to fit with your exciting thoughts.

Could it be that you are giving, giving, giving to these men and not getting what you want?

I'm not sure Myturn, Mr 2 hours away was too kind, all he talks about is making me happy, that's not what I want, I don't want to be looked after, I'm not that kind of person but also I don't want a man that needs looking after either. I am quite independent, I don't want a man that's like an extra child but I do want someone who will spend time with me and put me before their work.

I have just ditched Mr 2 hours away, I feel very guilty as I wouldn't have led him on telling him I will meet up with him.

I need to speak to Mr Ginger but have no idea how to word things, if he wants to see me again then he's going to have try a bit harder to find the time to do so as I can't wait 4 weeks between each time we see each other.

Tbh, I think if Mr perfect came along it wouldn't be good enough for me, maybe I'm meant to be on my own or maybe I'm just looking in the wrong place.