Step inside it's the Dating Thread 92!

[Whatsforsupper]

I'm not one for songs Or starting threads I saw the last one was full.

I shall post The Rules shortly:)

I think a six-pack is a great achievement, I just don't think it would be the first thing I'd be interested in. It's like the women's photos that are half full of their boobs.

I'm trying to remember that some people are just more visually stimulated than I am.

Don't go then Broken. Give yourself a break from dating altogether. Step back from it and spend time on yourself. Get yourself stronger so you can face it with a positive feeling sometime in the future.

I know how you feel brokenness, i feel the same about my date Sunday ( Mr ginger ), a part of me wants to just give up but then I'm worried I might miss out on meeting the one.

I have new man on the scene, been talking to him for 2 days, he works for the army but as a civilian, his job sounds very exciting but he works long hours, I have only seen one picture of him, he's not very good looking but not ugly either, we chatted last night whilst he was at work, he said 'I hope you don't think I'm weird and I know we haven't met but I feel some kind of connection with you and would love to get to know you', he wanted to talk to me on the phone or FB but I don't really want to give him my details yet and I don't like random men having access to my FB ( even though I talk to Mr Ginger through FB ), anyway, his profile says he's looking for friendship which confuses me a little, is he looking for a friend, looking for a girl friend in hope to have a relationship? Or is he looking for sex? ( which is usually the case on POF ), he did ask me what I was looking for in a man? And I said I was looking for someone to share my spare time with, to have good times with and to cuddle up on the sofa with ( does that sound like I'm just after sex? ) and he said that he could fit the criteria , I don't think he has been single long but then neither have I.

My 2 hours away has still been messaging non stop and planning our future together and planning a weekend with me, I'm not sure how to tell him to back off, I don't think he means any harm, he seems quite sensitive and probably desperate to settle down, he is in far to much of a hurry and is likely to scare me off, I'm not looking for a new husband and I don't really want more children ( he does ), I am meant to be meeting him next weekend but I think I will try and get out of it ( I'm sure one of the kids will be ill that weekend ).

I think I might bite the bullet and meet Mr Tubby next week.

Hi all ? I have been lurking on these boards for some time and I recently read the ?why do people just disappear? thread and I wanted to write my recent experience down and get some other opinions before it drives me potty

I joined Match.com about three weeks ago and was messaging a guy who I thought was lovely. Long story short we started to text constantly and eventually met for our date last Thursday.

Anyway, the date was great, had a fantastic time. He was very keen and appeared to be very in to me and as I was him. He was that keen that he said he wanted to take his Match profile down (which he did on Friday ? not sure if this keenness can be classed as a red flag).

We spoke about meeting on Sunday for lunch as it was his birthday. We were texting Friday and Saturday as normal he was just as keen as ever.

He went out Saturday night with his friends for his birthday, I received a text at 1am from him saying ?Just leaving my mates, hope you had a nice evening? xx. I missed this text as I was asleep so replied as soon as I got up. Radio silence, text again a couple of hours later? nothing. Then Whatsapped him saying not sure if my texts are going through, hope you?re ok? I noticed he came on line for about 30 seconds, didn?t read my text but the next thing he deletes his Whatsapp account and I then work out he has blocked me from his phone.

I?m utterly speechless and have no explanation. Im sat here going over everything to find some clue as to what I may have done to cause this but I know that that its all him. My only explanation is there is another person involved but still why take it as far as he did and whatever can happen between the hours of 1am and 8am to change your mind so drastically?? It does make me sad that people will do this to another person, just chips away at your confidence and self-esteem.

Anyway, that?s my recent story and wanted to share with you wise people.

Oh Melon, I know exactly how you feel , this is the side to OLD that I absolutely hate, the rejection is so hard, I'm still going over in my head what happened with Mr Machanic, he was in my bed begging me to see him the following day, asking me to get a sitter so I could go and see him before I went away so I arrange it and then no reply to my messages, have not heard anything since , I deleted him from whatsapp so I wouldn't keep checking if he had been online, I am still angry, angry that he didn't have the decency to just say 'your not my type', to totally ignore someone is just bad manners, all I can say is I hope one day it happens to them, they are probably not nice men at all and we are lucky that we got of lightly with being stood up early on, I don't want a relationship with that kind on man.

Broken, I think you should go, I think I will end up meeting Mr Ginger on Sunday, I am not going to get my hopes up, in a way I already know it won't really work between us so I'm looking at it as just a bit of fun, maybe casual sex , I am hoping I don't feel anything towards him as his life is just too complicated for me to be involved with.

I'm hoping Mr army worker will message me later, I might pluck up enough courage to speak to him on the phone ant to arrange a date.

Thanks Never. The whole situation is just odd. I have come up with so many scenarios in my head. My first though was, god, hope he's ok and nothing has happened to him coming home from the pub. But obviously he's alive and well just didn't have the character or balls to end it properly.

Surely if he didn't want to see me again he could have said something on Friday but he was the one chasing and texting me saying what a great time he had and couldn't wait to see me again and took his Match profile down (which he did as he asked me to check!). I do wonder if he will pop up again at somepoint hoping for an ego stroke. I don't hold up much hope but it really wouldn't surprise me.

Anyway my short time on Match.com is over this experience has really shocked me. Its easier being single!

Oh no melon that sounds horrible. I never understand why some people seem incapable of being up front. I'm only just dipping my toe in the water of OLD but your experience makes me think it's shark infested!! Maybe I'm better on dry land

Thanks Yougotafriend. Well a week on i'm getting over it but I still have thoughts going round in my head. Mostly what a knob he was.... you have to laugh at it as its bizarre. I could write a book with my dating experiences but this topped the lot.

Please don't let this put you off OD as I'm sure there are lovely guys out there and better experiences to have. My experience has come off the back of a really shite year so this just topped it off for me. Will concentrate on just me.

Sounds to me Melon as if he were married/had a girlfriend. Perhaps he was just trying out whether the grass was any greener before going back to wife/girlfriend. There are plenty of weird men and women on all the sites. And plenty of decent ones as well. It's a numbers game and a whole heap of luck.

I still haven't ventured past tinder, can't face having to write a profile for POF yet, but planning to ask a friend to help me after we've had to make me less self conscious.

I do have a fwb so I don't know if I'm more choosy because my physical needs are being met (well I'd like more sex but logistically it isn't possible). I'd love that tingly feeling you get when you meet & are attracted to someone new. Not looking for a long term relationship, but nor do I want to be used by a string of guys for sex.... How do I convey all of that in a profile??

Hi minmooch - well his profile said he was separated. We talked about his ex wife and ex girlfriend and even sent me pictures of his son. My gut says there is someone else but really you have to feel sorry for her as she probably hasn't a clue what he is like. I've dodge a bullet perhaps.

What has stumped me more with the 1am text.... why bother? He's 39 not 12!

I could go round and round in circles with this one and come up with zero but your right it is a numbers game and pure luck... which I don't seem to have much of. I'm 40 and feel like i'm running out of options.

Melon, it's hard but you have to stop questioning it, draw a line under it ( he's obviously a twat ) and move on, don't let it out you off OLD, just learn from it, I have learnt to never get my hopes up, I think until you have had 3 or 4 dates with a person you don't really know what's going to happen, you also don't know what their situation is, it's so easy for people to lie. I have a feeling Mr Machanic may be in a relationship with someone else, aye I was a bit on the side? But I will never know, I know I will be much more careful in the future and not expect anything even if someone does seem to be head over heals for me.

Yougot, I'm the same, not looking for a serious relationship ( unless we take it very very slowly ), on POF I have put ' looking to date' and have explained that I'm looking for someone to spend time with and have fun with, I'm not looking for a husband , although dating is quite stressful I quite enjoy the flirting and that fuzzy feeling when you both like each other, I don't want a string of men for sex either but would like to find one that's good in the sack and likes the same things as me.

Thanks Never. I will draw a line under it. I think because is still very fresh in my mind I'm chasing for answers which i will never get. He is a twat of the biggest order, thats the only thing I am 100% sure of.

I will never give up but I will for the time being just to lick my wounds and like you will treat the next experience differently.

I quite enjoy the flirting and that fuzzy feeling when you both like each other,

God, I wish I could just get to the stage of finding someone to meet up with.

I think I've lost the plot. I'm actually flirting with someone by email.

He's 23.

Well, have been dumped before even meeting someone, so that is a first ! WTF ..he said" it wasn't me, it was him and that he was not ready to date," so why put yourself on site....? Spent a good week exchanging e mails, and feel what a waste of time?!

Getting more and more disillusioned with OLD

What would you normally wear? What would your usual style and comfort be?

I'm rubbish at clothing broken, but I wear jeans to most things, with flats for coffee or heels for evening drinks.

melon the is really strange I agree and suspect too that an ex or someone else in involved. I don't think you could ever work it out and it would drive you mad guessing. Please don't let it put you off though.

I either go tight jeans and floaty top or black long dress with lime green jacket both with heels ! But I agree, wear what comfortable in so that you are not worrying.....and smile !!!!!

Melon, I have had blokes do this, I think often men will join a site after having argument with their girlfriend, they then patch things up. I had one man who was messaging me all night, begging me to meet him the next day, trying to arrange a place I could bump into him for a few minutes ( as I couldn't get child care he wanted me to bring the kids with me and just casually bump into him ), said he was desperate to meet me as we had a lot in common, the next day he had vanished of the face of the earth, he never logged back onto POF after that so I assume he went back to his ex .

Myturn, nothing wrong with flirting with a younger man but chances are it won't get serious, but if you want casual sex with a younger man then good on you ( go for it ) , I get quite a few young men message me, I ignore them as I'm too scared to meet up with a younger man, I have always dated older. Mr Ginger is the same age as me and that's scary enough.

I ended up sexting 2 men at the same time last night, was fun and I managed not to send the wrong message to the wrong person, on was on whatsapp and one through FB ( Mr Ginger ). Mr Army didn't message me yesterday, I'm a bit disappointed but I guess he could have been busy at work or maybe he's waiting for me to message him? I got talking to someone else last night, Mr Biker, talked for a while and then he asked me what sort of things I was into, I told him I wasn't really into bikes and then he vanished (oh well, I think he was looking for a biker chick but I wasn't going to lie, I hate motorbikes ).

Getting more and more nervous about seeing Mr Ginger even though we have been chatting for over a month and know almost everything about each other. I still don't think it could ever work between us though I do really like him, it's taken a month to find a day where we are both available to meet, I don't think I could wait another month if we wanted to meet again, he works long hours and rarely has a day off ( he only has the morning on Sunday ), when he does have time off he usually spends it with his kids and I'm usually with mine. He doesn't live that close either which makes things tricky.