I met a man a few months ago and we ended up spending a couple of days together. He was really funny, really interesting and we just talked for the entire day and the entire night into the next day (nothing happenned at all!) and told each other about our pasts, our families, our hopes for the future and everything and I came away feeling really connected. He did try it on of course, but I was dating someone at the time and nothing happenned.
We both went home (we live 2.5 hours apart) and he started to phone and text me quite a lot. I split with BF and It transpired that he was just out of an LTR that he had ended because they had reached that point where it was "marry or leave" and he chose to leave. He's very honest, and he has told me that he loves this woman, but he is just not sure that he loves her enough for her to be the one he spends his life with. He feels like she is perfect on paper and that he has no reason to run from this commitment and it's tortured him a bit in terms of the guilt he feels for breaking her heart, and also the worry that there is something wrong with him to feel this way and that he is somehow not fit for relationships.
What came next was a lot of texting and phoning and some of the most deep, meaningful and interesting conversations of my life and I started to admire and respect this guy a heck of a lot. I feel actually like he's one of the few people I have ever met who completely understands me and how I see life and the world and he's so clever and honest and full of a desire to do the right thing by people.
There's a very strong attraction between us, and he carried on asking me out quite a lot, always teasing me about whoever I was dating at the time, asking why I didn't dump the stiff and go out with him instead and how we both knew we'd end up together eventually. He was pretty clear though that he felt he'd balked on marriage with this other woman and he was afraid he would do the same with the next girl and the next one too.
I explained to him that I didn't want to date him due to the timing and circumstances because it might be messy and that it was best for him to sort his life but that if we both still felt the same when he was completely over it, that we could re-visit the idea of "us".
During the past few months, I carried on dating other people, and he got back together briefly with this other woman. His words exactly in terms of her were that he was worried that if he let her go he'd not meet anyone better and that she was a good woman and loyal. I told him that sounded like the worst reason I'd ever heard to marry someone, but left him to it to explore his own head but he's definitely been a bit confused and messed up over it.
We both admitted openly that the connection and attraction we both felt was obviously something quite serious and he did say more than once that he felt a strange sense that I might be "the one". To be honest, I had nagging feelings on the same lines but I just felt if we dated when he was so confused and messed up over something else it would not give u a fair chance that we deserved.
Anyway, I told him yesterday that it's becoming more serious with a guy I am dating and that we were becoming exclusive and he joked around at first and then sent me a message that said:
"Honestly, he seems like a good guy and he has everything you deserve. you should give it your all because you deserve to be happy. This is me signing off until the day comes where you feel like the time might be right to be in touch with me. I really hope the best for you, because you are beautiful, super bright and really tuned in and I am really hoping that I hear from you again one day. What I am going to do now though is to delete your number, and I suggest you do the same. It's far too easy for us to continue messaging like this for all the wrong reasons and it's not fair to anyone. If you ever want to find me, you can contact me at (his address)."
I asked him what it was about and he said he felt that the attraction between us was very strong, and that we'd eventually see each other again, end up together, fall madly in love and that ultimately someone else would make me happier in the long term and he did not want to cause me pain like he did to this other woman.
I didn't really understand any of it.
I do know he's obviously not in a place for a relationship, but I hoped we could stay in each other's lives and maybe have a chance for the future because my gut is telling me that he and I are "it".
I don't really know what to do. He has left me this address, but he does not know my last name, my address, where I work or have me on Facebook or anything at all. He's deleted me now presumably and there's no way for him to find me again.
I feel like he's left the ball in my court but I am not sure why or what I am meant to do with it?