Support for Spook 2

[Janstar]

Here it is.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so could we order pizzas to his address

Now that WOULD be good.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO - big hugs and congrats to you Spook - when the time comes and you realise that you have to fight for all its worth it really makes a difference - I felt let down and at the end of my tether last week and thanks to lots of people (especially a lovely divorce lawyer I met at a wedding on Saturuday!!) I feel like I can go out and fight the world - X2b has already received the petition and that is with the court and now I have instructed my solicitor today to put the form A into the court to bring about a financial hearing - he won't accept any offers - I apparently put nothing into the marraige so will be getting nothing out (Except the 60 - 70% of absolutely everything you arrogant little weazelly shit !!)

Your X2b will probably get every other weekend and half of the school hols - although they still can mess you around but if X2b doesn;t have DD the weekends he is supposed to he knows he won;t see her again till it is his pre arranged time again - no messing about and changing arrangements anymore - he wants to behave like a shit and so will I!!

Oooohhh I do hope that you feel as empowered as I do at the moment - your X2b is an absolute tosser not to realise that him being nasty about you won;t help anyone - most certainly not his children and you have to keep a log of stuff like this - it will be very handy when you go to court to arrange access - as well as the coke thing - the judge in my case was disgusted at x2bs, his mothers and my stepmonsters attitude towards me - all worked in my favour in the end!!

As for the taking your 2x2b for everything - you do not sound bitter or twisted but sensible - you need to be secure for the sake of your children - this is about them really and you as the PWC - as my new friendly divorce lawyer told me at the weekend - the court will arrange things to suit the child before everyone else and especially with the idea that the settlement is about from here on - not what has been put into the marriage by either of you!!

Good Luck Spook - keep uo the attitude and don;t let him get you down - he is a C*NT of the Higest Order just like my X2b - and like me will finally get to the stage where you realise that no matter how trying this has all been you in reality have had a lucky escape from being stuck with such an arrogant self centred man for the rest of your life.

Twinkie XXX

Hi Spook - un-ber-lieveable!!! HIs behaviour is just unbelieveable. How horrible!

Still: cocktail umberellas to the ready girls, and into the big fight for Spooks divorce settlement.

If he's going to mess you about re when he sees the boys, it may well be good to make a formal arrangement....can I slip in a little Libran caution? vent and rant as much as you need - take him to the cleaners financially - but (and you know this anyway) don't use the boys as revenge.

Oh, I'm SO sorry i missed you on your visit....but you'll be oming down to do some house-hunting, won't you?? See you some time then. XXXXX

Thanks Twinkie and Blu. You are both totally right as always. Got a txt from him this morning..."hangover gone..?" As if the only reason I was cross yesterday was coz I had a hangover (he may have a teensy weeny point)
Anyway-it's done. My papers are signed. I'm off to visit my best friend down South armed with 2 bottles of pink champagne and a BAD ATTITUDE!!!
Lots of love to you all XXXXX

ARSE!

Well done spook. Do not feel guilty. He has pushed you into a corner and you have to be like this now. You had no choice. He has caused it all.

DD2 started talking about you again this morning. She has a best friend from when we lived in London and two or three times a year one will stay a few days with the other. Afterwards she is always sad for a while. She says she felt exactly the same when you left here.

Have a lovely time with your friend and do not give your h another thought. As Pete said, what goes around, comes around.

Spook and girls, so sorry to have missed the night at Anorak's. Hope you all had a lovely time. I'm sure Anorak explained that we had to drive to Oxford & back that night as it was the only available evening we had to see D's cousin and kids before they went back up to their village in Scotland. Sorry, bad timing.

Talking of timing divorce papers on his birthday!! OH YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Ooooo I wish I could be a fly on the wall when he gets 'em

You go girl. It's good to see you getting angry with the little shit spook, and the birthday serving is a touch of genius.

Actually it reminds me of an old episode of Eastenders

So what's the latest spook? and how is your eye?

DD2 has watched that flamin video you bought her a hundred times. And DS announced yesterday 'I don't like you mummy cos you're mean. I like '. This because I made him stay in the naughty corner for kicking chairs over and throwing the ice penguin.

Next time you come you can take them home with you

Hi anorak! Things much the same really. My solicitor has told me not to sign anything re money. He's cashing in an awful lot of things. Haven't spoken to him since he told me what a brilliant life I have and how I have no idea how hard he works...boys are staying over there tonight so they can wake up with him on his birthday 2 morrow. I have made him a compilation CD and bought him a few very symbolic presents and we're making him a cake this afternoon. Hey! here's my heart-why not trample all over it again!!!
My eye is pretty rammy thanks. So not a good look. I'm off to town (school unform-aagghh) in a mo so I'll go to Boots.
How are you and your lush family?? (tell DD2 I'm going to the Soap Awards on Sept 27th so will try and fulfill my promise-and get off with Little Dennis)

Getting off with Little Dennis was not my promise to your DD!!! (promise to myself maybe) I told her I'd try and get her loads of autographs!!

Spook - go to the ondivorce website and look at the discussion board for financial hep - one man on there has insisted on taking his x to FDH and has so far been ordered to hand house over to her, pay spousal for the forseeable future and also had to hand over half his pension oh and he has to pay 25% of his salary to the CSA too!! Get proof that he is cashing stuff in - the judge will be appalled as this is taking money away from the pot and in the end his children!!

Believe me your x2b will pay - as will mine if he doesn't agree to settle soon becase I will take him to the cleaners if he drags me through court heavily pregnant!! - Sol has asked for quicker hearing date as I am getting huge (will look good in court too apparently - me heavily pregnant and him being an arse!!) - anyway Nisi through on the 7th Sept so if he agrees could be all over by Oct 19th - he has had an offer on the house so I would be paid out quickly too!!

What have you bought him?? - New Guide to Dating or something like that would be a good idea?? Or maybe we can print off the guys story from the other website and have it framed for him!!

Twinkie, you are evil...but I like you!

Hi Twinkie-no. For symbolic read stupid romantic blind bitch. Have bought him a gorgeous gorgeous book called "A lovely love story" Sounds very cheesy but is in fact beautiful. And a gorgeous yellow tile thing with a golden sun on it (we were married at sunset) and the cake is heart shaped. I am finding the whole birthday thing really really upsetting actually. WHY??? He probably won't even listen to the CD and he'll probably put the book in the bin so she never sees it.

Spook, you are doing it because you can't stop being the loving thoughtful person you are just because he is being an a**e. It is a little opportunity to show love and you don't get many of those these days.

Just don't waste too much of your energy on someone who doesn't appreciate it.

God I am so so angry and upset. I can't BELIEVE I've done it to myself again. Built myself up for another fall. All this bollocks that he only see's her once or twice a week and not seeing her today (his birthday) Those beautiful presents I gave him and the cake. I got a txt this morning saying thanks for the really thoughtful presents and then another saying the CD had made him cry. When the boys came home I gave him a hug and cried. STUPID STUPID. DS1 said he was sobbing when certain tracks came on and had to forward to the next one (Jet-Look What You've Done!!)
Then DS1 said there was a lipstick message on his mirror "Miss you already Happy Birthday"I was so upset. I called him and apparentley she'd let herself in yesterday and written it. So why leave it there for my boys to see????? I can't take anymore of this fucking evidence of her existence in the childrens lives. I know that's life and he's left me for her but I WON'T have her presence felt.
It upsets them and it upsets me. God I hate her so so much. She knew the boys were going there straight from work last night. HOW DARE SHE. I swear if she were infront of me right now I could not be responsible for my actions. I have NEVER hated anyone so much as I do right now. (I have never hated anyone full stop actually)
I'm in that horrible pacing upset tearing my hair out can't take much more state of mind. So much so that I have dialled her number again and again and again. Ofcourse she is so chicken shit she would never actually take a call. Never has. Couldn't possibly face up to the reality of what she's caused. And I KNOW it's him that's caused it but right at this second it's her I feel bitter and twisted towards. I just want him home.

So sorry spook, it is a terrible feeling, not got a lot to say i just sympathise greatly and really feel for you. It was without a doubt the worst time of my life. I now just laugh at her and him, i am sure you don't believe that, i certainly never did when people told me. Just want to say hang on in there, you are way at the bottom and i promise you there is only one way forward and that is up. I wouldn't wish the pain you are feeling on anyone, remember you have a good heart and soul and worth a thousand of her.

Thanks Fairyfly. 8 months on and he can still reduce me to this wreck. Much love.xx

8 months is nothing, i remember crying my eyes out after a year thinking there was something wrong with me for missing him so much. I couldn't understand why i was hurting so much for someone so evil. I wouldn't admit it to anyone as i was so embarassed i wasn't stronger. Now i realise it was completely normal, don't give yourself any pressure to feel better after a certain amount of time. It is a long process of basically getting your self confidence and self esteem back. My x still screws me up and has me collapsed on the floor like someone off a soap opera. The thing is it last a shorter amount of time to pick myself up, i think these days it takes and hour. As you know at the begining you never ever feel o.k. i wanted to die. Try and think of how you felt then and how you feel now, it is an improvement and it will keep on happening. Be proud of yourself, hoold your head up high and find in life what you deserve. I take great pleasure in the fact my x's girl has landed herself a prize twat to go out with. I am going to do so much better than that.

But he's not a prize twat deep down. Every now and again flashes of the gorgeous man I know come through and I think that's why I just can't let go. I can't quite believe it could ever be over for us.

Sorry, i know, i mean he has behaved like one. You still love him and why shouldn't you, love in my opinion keeps you loyal. I will always love my x, i know that and admit it to myself, i just have let him go, he will destroy me if i don't. I really do want a relationship that doesn't hurt aswell, i can't imagine what it feels like and i really think i deserve it too.
I wish you luck i also believe love forgives all, and if he realises he has been wrong then i hope you can be happy. In the mean time remember one day all will be o.k. again. You will be back in his arms or over him, this pain either way won't last x

Oh Fairyfly.Thankyou. Just getting through tonight seems like a mammoth task right now.